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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Not feeling great tomorrow I have to leave the house for the first time since November the 1st been trying not to leave home and face the world since I started feeling like ending things again so very nervous about this and I am not 100% over feeling depression but my doctor will not give me anymore time off work
I'm hurting a whole lot. I don't know what to do with my pain. So far I've been compartmentalizing it by acknowledging that it's there, but keeping it on the back burner until my next therapy appointment. But lately it's been too much for one hour a week. A prior therapist I had mentioned an objective of getting me to become my own therapist. That sounds like a fantastic idea to me. Right now I'm blinded by anger and fear, though, so I'm not sure it would be a great idea. I want to DO something about the people who intentionally hurt me - but what would that be? I want them to sit down with me and look me in the eyes and explain how they felt it would be okay to treat me the way they did.
This is probably going to sound pretty bad - I know that but if anyone can help me explain why, I would be open to any input:
I want to kms such that I make a mess of my remains on the walls of that facility. They did this to me - why not give THEM a mess to clean up.
I feel like that's pretty intensely passive-aggressive though, as in it's a "look what you made me do" move. That's not my motivation though. My motivation is to force them to look at the way they are treating people. It's just a stupid fantasy anyway. Like I said I would really prefer to have a face to face conversation with the people who hurt me. That's not an option so what am I supposed to do going forward?
I don't know what to do. I usually know what to do, even if I don't always do that. Now, it's more like an insurmountable wall that's keeping me stuck.
This is probably going to sound pretty bad - I know that but if anyone can help me explain why, I would be open to any input:
I want to kms such that I make a mess of my remains on the walls of that facility. They did this to me - why not give THEM a mess to clean up.
I feel like that's pretty intensely passive-aggressive though, as in it's a "look what you made me do" move. That's not my motivation though. My motivation is to force them to look at the way they are treating people. It's just a stupid fantasy anyway. Like I said I would really prefer to have a face to face conversation with the people who hurt me. That's not an option so what am I supposed to do going forward?
I don't know what to do. I usually know what to do, even if I don't always do that. Now, it's more like an insurmountable wall that's keeping me stuck.
Hey , I am sorry you're going through so much. Being in the loop can be tough as you're describing. If this helps , I imagine a lot too about revenge and most importantly about how some people have come to the realisation of their wrongs. I was just thinking that maybe because you want to do that yet you can't , so like your feelings are still all overwhelmingly there therefore you're unable to process and think. So , perhaps writing it all out , everything you wanna do , your fantasies and feelings along with thoughts can clear up your brain a little and it might help you to try to think a bit. Or taking a break from trying to think altogether and coming back to it after allowing yourself to be mindful , feeling things and /or taking a break.
