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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
thanks, i feel ridiculous erasing in the most accepting place ever. But I do it. F

how is your recovery?
Going quite well and thank you for asking. Everything clearing up nicely, staph infection is gone as far as anybody can tell. That one had me more worried than the allergies since it can affect other parts of the body with pretty heavy stuff like sepsis and respiratory issues.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Feeling doubtful about my ability to keep my body safe. Kind of just want to step into a situation where an "accident" is likely to happen that frees me from this pain.
Interestingly, less than an hour after I posted this, I got pulled over for road rage. Apparently I was tailgating and driving really fast. Luckily I didn’t go to jail, but I might be looking at a suspended license. Thinking about proactively contacting the prosecutor. I’m freaking out.
 

Winslow

My Toughest Problem Has Been Solved.
SF Supporter
Feeling doubtful about my ability to keep my body safe. Kind of just want to step into a situation where an "accident" is likely to happen that frees me from this pain.
When you mentioned the supposed "accident," it reminded me of a police report where they reported a car crash that resulted in the death of the driver. The conclusion was that it was actually a suicide. So I was wondering how the police knew it was a suicide.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
When you mentioned the supposed "accident," it reminded me of a police report where they reported a car crash that resulted in the death of the driver. The conclusion was that it was actually a suicide. So I was wondering how the police knew it was a suicide.
Good question - I don't know anything about investigative procedures but I would hazard a guess that people who do this work have seen enough cases that there are circumstances in a crash that would make it more likely a suicide vs an error that resulted in a fatality. I've heard of things being ruled a suicide for the sake of filling out a death certificate, but it would be a pretty poor quality investigation if they concluded 100% one way or another without something like a suicide note or interviewing people who spoke with the driver shortly before the wreck.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I'm glad things didn't turn out worse than they could have. A suspended license might not be such a bad thing if you feel at risk for driving dangerously. Would you still be able to function without being able to drive?
Not unless I can find a 100% remote job. I was contacted by a recruiter yesterday, but it’s on site 4 days a week and the office is far enough away that it would be on the order of $100 each way to do a ride share (Lyft, Uber), so that’s $800+ a week out of the gate. This is a state where mass transit has yet to catch on. There is a light rail, which is better than nothing, but in the best case I would need over an hour to take that to a place that is 25 minutes to drive to. Assuming everything goes well, and that’s between 2 points that are both 1-4 blocks from the light rail stops.
 

meow124

Well-Known Member
I’m disappointed in myself. I had three quizzes this week, and I made it to every one of them. was so burnt out by the end, though, that I skipped class on friday, and just stayed in bed the whole day besides going to the bathroom. I couldn’t get out of bed until around 7 pm. I had a haircut appointment that I scheduled earlier this month, and I was planning on showering and cleaning everything I wanted to friday night, but I didn’t have the energy for it. I tried to do that this morning, clean everything and shower in time for the appointment. I couldn’t make it. I took too long. I had to reschedule for later this month. I’m just really sad. I started to realize how bad I’ve been lately, and it makes me really sad. I feel like I could be better when I haven’t been. I feel like I really suck. I still went today for something, but I feel like showering again. I’m so tired. I think I’ve just been surviving lately, and now that I realize how tired I am, it’s hard to not feel tired and try to survive.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
Not unless I can find a 100% remote job. I was contacted by a recruiter yesterday, but it’s on site 4 days a week and the office is far enough away that it would be on the order of $100 each way to do a ride share (Lyft, Uber), so that’s $800+ a week out of the gate. This is a state where mass transit has yet to catch on. There is a light rail, which is better than nothing, but in the best case I would need over an hour to take that to a place that is 25 minutes to drive to. Assuming everything goes well, and that’s between 2 points that are both 1-4 blocks from the light rail stops.
That's cool you were contacted. Could take the light rail, and then walk the rest, is that what you are saying. You could be on SF while you ride the train. I am sort of out in left field perhaps, sorry.
 
Regretful of choices i made. Not pleased with my life story, but it is one of survival.
We do our best at the time and our life choices form us to who we are now. We have to forgive ourselves for bad choices and make the best choices for the remaining time we have left. I have some skeletons in my closet that if anyone knew I would not be forgiven but I did my best at the time.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
Interestingly, less than an hour after I posted this, I got pulled over for road rage. Apparently I was tailgating and driving really fast. Luckily I didn’t go to jail, but I might be looking at a suspended license. Thinking about proactively contacting the prosecutor. I’m freaking out.
Let us know how you are doing and how this goes. I'm glad you didn't go to jail. Contact an attorney for help, and your therapist. Stating the obvious, but wanted to show support LumberJack.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Let us know how you are doing and how this goes. I'm glad you didn't go to jail. Contact an attorney for help, and your therapist. Stating the obvious, but wanted to show support LumberJack.
Thank you. I’m still feeling terrible about it. I didn’t even know at the time. I was in full on flight mode and it got out of control. I feel really friggin disgusted with myself right now, because it was wrong of me to take risks with other people’s safety. I don’t care much if I die in an accident, but I care very much about not hurting anyone, especially in a terrible accident!

I don’t think I can afford a lawyer right now because of my finances, but I am going to look up today if I can do something on my own. I’m thinking about reaching out to the prosecutor proactively to say how seriously I am taking this problem, and what I’m doing immediately to keep drivers around me safe, including careful observation of all speed limits. I will search for an app that can record my driving habits along with location and map data. Map data contains speed limits, and the rate of change in location would give my speed as a comparison.

I’m aware of some apps that sneakily report your driving habits to the ISO, which is the organization that pools insurance data across all carriers to fight fraud (e.g., someone who has a habit of getting rear-ended is usually a scammer), drive ratings for individual driver, and for regulatory purposes. So if an app is selling your driving data to them, then it is going to impact your rates regardless of the company you’re buying a policy from. The problem here is that it’s ONLY going to hurt the customer. It’s not like perfect drivers get a discount unless they are using specific equipment/app tools provided by the insurance company, which means the driver knows it’s being monitored.

Speaking of insurance rates, I am probably entirely screwed as of my next renewal even if I do manage to keep my license. It’s entirely possible (but unlikely) that my insurance company will drop me right as soon as the tickets are judged since at that point they hit my driving record.
 

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