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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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I send thoughts and hope and my kind of prayers that the family member - your daughter - changes her mind and starts treating you with care, respect and love. 
I like yiur personality on here and a few times in the past in the chat. Alot of good can be learned from n u r wanted.
Sad that was the image you saw, but I agree with @SillyOldBear time will likely bear it out that she does and did need you. Learning it too late is always bad for all.
Mike I think I read somewhere that your post-sepsis problems were improving? If that's correct, I'm really glad for that. 
mike....
I was doing better, but then my mood suddenly dropped. You could almost hear a flat, dull "whomp" as it fell to the floor. It was really abrupt. I had done some lighthearted web surfing and looked at a few cute pictures. I even got my appetite back for a minute. Then, while I was eating - one second I'm reflecting on how I started feeling better, and the next I was thinking that I shouldn't text my therapist tomorrow to let her know I sent an email. The reason being that she must have better things to do, why would anyone want to deal with the likes of me in between sessions. This, despite that we had set up sort of a mid-week check in cadence and she has thanked me for the updates so far.
So - it's like obvious that my thoughts and emotions are out of step with reality. I don't believe them, but my body does. I feel like I suddenly weigh twice as much as before and I've lost interest in doing anything I usually enjoy, including eating. I'm so confused - this is not normal for me, although it's not entirely new, either. I have been really working on doing the basics like self care and even CBT-based cognitive reframing. That's how I noticed that my thoughts were distorted above, even. But even with that, I'm definitely better for 20-40 minutes and then it's like the weather just changed in a second from sunny with a mild breeze to dark af and a goddam tornado on the horizon. Oh well, I will take the 20-40 minutes because at least that's more than nothing.
So - it's like obvious that my thoughts and emotions are out of step with reality. I don't believe them, but my body does. I feel like I suddenly weigh twice as much as before and I've lost interest in doing anything I usually enjoy, including eating. I'm so confused - this is not normal for me, although it's not entirely new, either. I have been really working on doing the basics like self care and even CBT-based cognitive reframing. That's how I noticed that my thoughts were distorted above, even. But even with that, I'm definitely better for 20-40 minutes and then it's like the weather just changed in a second from sunny with a mild breeze to dark af and a goddam tornado on the horizon. Oh well, I will take the 20-40 minutes because at least that's more than nothing.
yes , finally getting better. fatigue isn't as bad and swollen foot goes up and down. apparently, the foot takes a minimum of 3 to 6 months. so i'm happy for any improvement lol. how are you doing ?
mike....
mike....
Today was the first anniversary of my father’s death. Visited his grave, then had dinner with my mom and my sisters and all but one of my nieces and nephews.
The old me would have wondered why I was so irritable and everything pissed me off today. It was good to see everybody. I don’t remember the last time we were all under one roof (yes I do; his funeral). But it was a shitty day and I’m glad it’s over.
The old me would have wondered why I was so irritable and everything pissed me off today. It was good to see everybody. I don’t remember the last time we were all under one roof (yes I do; his funeral). But it was a shitty day and I’m glad it’s over.
I feel terrible. I’ve really messed up my career and my finances. I wake up every day reliving traumatic memories from 2 years ago. I’m broken. Not that I was ever fully functioning before, but it feels like every day is more painful than the last. More fear, more failure, and more pain. I’m working hard to recover from both depression/PTSD and substance abuse. It feels like I’m still backsliding despite my efforts to recover taking up a good chunk of my waking hours. I’m hurting so badly that it’s hard to see any way in which this gets better, or even not worse.
