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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
i had a horrible start today. as always i check the debit card for social security to make sure payment is pending. it wasn't. it expired and they sent it to the old address. it took a while and $13.50 for expedited shipping but will be in only a day late at most so catstrophy avoided lol. besides that i am having a great day
mike
mike
can't believe I'm posting about this again, but I'm tired. I didn't sleep since yesterday and I doubt I can tonight (it's almost 1am) somebody at my home messed up the medication orders and none of us are gonna get anything till Thursday. I'm just kinda pissed.
I know it's not their fault, but my caretakers know that it's literally physically impossible for me to sleep without medication and that this horribly worsens my hallucinations. I've got two more nights of this to look forward. Fuck my life.
I know it's not their fault, but my caretakers know that it's literally physically impossible for me to sleep without medication and that this horribly worsens my hallucinations. I've got two more nights of this to look forward. Fuck my life.
Tired of not being good enough.
Literally. I þink about my failures and neglects, My negligence to avail ðe world while opportune, my inadequacy produced self-non-application, and in addition to hurting, it just outright exhausts me.
I have hobbled to bed. Hope I catch a daylight nap once while I'm alive. Maybe I'll find my wallet after
Literally. I þink about my failures and neglects, My negligence to avail ðe world while opportune, my inadequacy produced self-non-application, and in addition to hurting, it just outright exhausts me.
I have hobbled to bed. Hope I catch a daylight nap once while I'm alive. Maybe I'll find my wallet after
I can't take this shit anymore! 
Feeling hurt and frustrated. Been trying to accept and move on, but I haven't succeeded at that yet. It's definitely not that I haven't tried, or am intentionally re-opening the wound and reliving the event to harness my anger. I'm frustrated because I am hurt. What happened wasn't terrible, and I survived - so I feel like a crybaby for still hurting over it 2+ years later. I should be tough and not let them get me down. But the truth is that the big scary thing that I'm trying to avoid is the fact that it does hurt, and I don't know what to do about it. And when I slow down enough to hear my own thoughts is when the tears come. That's kind of the situation with my meditation practice lately. There's a meditation teacher who I read about saying that, "If you haven't cried deeply on the cushion, then your practice really hasn't begun." Wellll my practice is fully under way then, and has been for a long time.
It's also what happens when I go to start rebuilding my skills and look for work. I get stuck in rumination over the past and how unjust it was. Then that pain snowballs, and I just shut down. This is when the compulsive behavior starts up. So, am I paralyzed in my job search because of feeling victimized, or am I avoiding my job search by entrenching my resentment? Maybe both. But the "why" isn't so important as the "what" and right now that is what I think is blocking my ability to feel safe in others' company, or even alone. My greatest enemy is inside my own head and he's trying to kill me.
It's also what happens when I go to start rebuilding my skills and look for work. I get stuck in rumination over the past and how unjust it was. Then that pain snowballs, and I just shut down. This is when the compulsive behavior starts up. So, am I paralyzed in my job search because of feeling victimized, or am I avoiding my job search by entrenching my resentment? Maybe both. But the "why" isn't so important as the "what" and right now that is what I think is blocking my ability to feel safe in others' company, or even alone. My greatest enemy is inside my own head and he's trying to kill me.
Im struggling and need to talk to someone. Can't call the crisis line nomore they just want to send me to hospital I cant find nothing i can afford. I see a therapist tomorrow but im struggling to get that far. I haven't gone to work. I cant function. My wife keeps asking me for things and money. I cant do this alone.
I think if you quit your job or reduce your hours, you'll be able to qualify for medicaid. It is much better to quit your job than to quit your life.
You may also qualify for medicaid or additional medicaid services if you're found to be disabled. Being hospitalized may help prove that you're disabled.
Does the crisis line know that affordability is a barrier to hospitalization for you?
You may also qualify for medicaid or additional medicaid services if you're found to be disabled. Being hospitalized may help prove that you're disabled.
Does the crisis line know that affordability is a barrier to hospitalization for you?