• IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.

How Are You Feeling Right Now?

moðer mi li pilin ike la mi ask her why how she feels. She says "inadequate".

She "wishes [her] kids had healþ insurance". She mentioned mi not going full-time.

Ðæt I someþing she has been asking after for monþs. She really wants mi to go full-time at my job. I've been declining.

Now, I feel like I'm somewhere I've been before: Mom, who indeed still loves and cares for us, asserts some choice of ours which does make it harder for her.

In ðe past I've lumped ðis in wiþ blame. Now I know she's simply being factual.

My heart aches. It has in situations like ðis before. But, my ache is not agonizing, like has been so.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I feel really sad. Like my sadness is a giant boa constrictor that has just seized upon me, however it is very weak. So I'm being slowly suffocated by a twisting pressure around my chest. That said, I think I can handle this. My plan is to try some things and watch for how the feeling changes. I dunno if this will work, and feeling very down at times is part of the human condition. In other words, it's not depression so much as I'm sad about the things that there are to be sad about, and most of those are within the past 10 years, so the trend is scary. Depression is disordered, while sadness is a healthy response to things that are sad.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I know the feeling, but it's not necessarily true (that you don't deserve to love or like yourself) feelings can be real, and untrue, at the same time. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)?
crap. Just missed the time to edit. What I wanted to add is this: it's not necessarily true (that you don't deserve to love or like yourself). Feelings can be real, and untrue, at the same time. Hope that makes sense. I don't want to disqualify your emotions because nobody has a right to do that to someone else.

And FWIW, I am a qualified expert on rights and responsibilities inherent to all humans. I have a degree in philosophy, a subset of which considers ethics, and human rights are a sub-area within there. So, technically, I'm a professional, lol!
 
Last edited:

Lostman85

Well-Known Member
I know the feeling, but it's not necessarily true. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)?
I see a therapist tomorrow if I make it. I don't have insurance and im struggling to keep going. I have no strength to fight this fight nomore. Its ok tho. Im not able to end it. Im a failure. I fail everything nomatter if I do good or right I fail. So im not even trying nomore. Thanks tho. You stay strong and keep going. Dont give up on yourself.
 

Lostman85

Well-Known Member
crap. Just missed the time to edit. What I wanted to add is this: it's not necessarily true (that you don't deserve to love or like yourself). Feelings can be real, and untrue, at the same time. Hope that makes sense. I don't want to disqualify your emotions because nobody has a right to do that to someone else.

And FWIW, I am a qualified expert on rights and responsibilities inherent to all humans. I have a degree in philosophy, a subset of which considers ethics, and human rights are a sub-area within there. So, technically, I'm a professional, lol!
Its ok I understand but I never liked myself or who I have become. As you see the state im in I cant love or like myself. I cant do my job as a father or a husband. Now im at side line crappy guy dead beat father. Its such a bad feeling to hear my son say he dont want to be there but I cant do nothing bout it. I get what your saying and I appreciate it.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I see a therapist tomorrow if I make it. I don't have insurance and im struggling to keep going. I have no strength to fight this fight nomore. Its ok tho. Im not able to end it. Im a failure. I fail everything nomatter if I do good or right I fail. So im not even trying nomore. Thanks tho. You stay strong and keep going. Dont give up on yourself.
These are just my reactions. Take or leave as you see fit:
  • I disagree that you are a failure. Failure is a label, and people are not labels. You have failed, and every adult has failed, sometimes quite spectacularly, over the course of their lives. The only exceptions would be worse than failure, because if you are not risking failure, you are in a rut.
  • You don't know what will happen in the future. If you disqualify yourself ahead of time, though, that's a 100% self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm not saying "think positive and you can do anything." That is bullsh*t IMHO. What I am saying instead, is that you have to risk failure to have a chance at getting to a better place.
  • I wish you would talk to yourself the way you talk to other people here. I am really not sure about saying this because I don't want you to turn it against yourself and thereby feel shamed. In that spirit - I will emphasize that this is not a should, but rather a wish/ambition for you to not give up on yourself. :) My ulterior motive is that I haven't mastered this yet, so if you figure it out, pls share!
 

Lostman85

Well-Known Member
Do you mean he doesn't want to live with his mother? If so, do you know why?
My son don't like his mom. Of course its my fault im close with my kids. That's why im hurt and feel im worthless. I cant do anything for them. I cant even be there for them

There mom yells at them alot and doesn't do anything with them. I tried to tell her she needs to sit down and talk to them but what do I know. I do that I talk to them. I know my son is hurting. He tells me he is afraid to get kicked out. She curses at them and gets mad when they act like kids. I wish I was a better dad. I wish they could be with me but I can't even take care of myself. Im such a dead beat. Im sry you have a good night
 
I cant do anything for them. I cant even be there for them
You might not be able to do anything for them at the moment, but if you focus on taking care of yourself for now, you'll be able to get in a position where you can take care of them eventually. If you can have faith in the dream of one day being able to be there for you kids, maybe even having custody of them, that is something that can help keep you going.
 

Lostman85

Well-Known Member
These are just my reactions. Take or leave as you see fit:
  • I disagree that you are a failure. Failure is a label, and people are not labels. You have failed, and every adult has failed, sometimes quite spectacularly, over the course of their lives. The only exceptions would be worse than failure, because if you are not risking failure, you are in a rut.
  • You don't know what will happen in the future. If you disqualify yourself ahead of time, though, that's a 100% self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm not saying "think positive and you can do anything." That is bullsh*t IMHO. What I am saying instead, is that you have to risk failure to have a chance at getting to a better place.
  • I wish you would talk to yourself the way you talk to other people here. I am really not sure about saying this because I don't want you to turn it against yourself and thereby feel shamed. In that spirit - I will emphasize that this is not a should, but rather a wish/ambition for you to not give up on yourself. :) My ulterior motive is that I haven't mastered this yet, so if you figure it out, pls share!
I appreciate jack. Your a good person. Stay strong. I only care bout others cause they matter you matter. I dont. So keep your head up and thank you
 

Lostman85

Well-Known Member
#May71#Sillyoldbear
Yea i accomplished alot in past turned my life around and then lost everything. I never asked for anything from nobody. I asked my wife for a little help and I got thrown out like garbage. Now I got nothing for asking for a little help. I feel the same now. Helping people makes me feel good. My kids I feel are better off without me. I struggle everyday without them. They were the only thing that I looked forward to after work is seeing them and asking how school was and they did. Or having a catch or bike ride but I don't get that luxury anymore. Now I look at a picture thinking if there getting in trouble cause of me. Im a horrible person and father. I never should of made it. Im sry
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$45.00
Goal
$255.00
Top