How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[AvidFan]

A bit anxious. Half an hour till I set off walking to the doctors. Already had slight bad news today when I went to ask about my laptop at the shop and he said he'd tried x, but couldn't get it going. Said it turned on and he couldn't get into the machine at all. So the motherboard might be gone. Very last time I buy a HP. I bought one in lockdown which is battered but still going as my spare upstairs. It last 4 years till I retired it, but the other 2 have barely lasted a year each and both went just outside warranty - of course!

I hope this appointment goes OK.

 

[Aurelia]

I'm about to freak the fuck out. My family won't stop asking me whether or not I'm hearing voices. Every fucking day, I hear this. You're fucking pushing my limits.

 

[AvidFan]

Absolutely livid. Every single thing I predicted about what the GP would say came true. Had absolutely no clue. None at all. Referred me for an x ray as went to the laziest possible diagnosis "maybe arthritis". I don't think arthritis causes burning pain in your genitals/perineum. Dickhead. Pardon the pun. I had this exactly 10 years ago when I had a mild meniscus issue in my knee. Sent me for an x-ray. It wasnt arthritis at all. And neither will this be.

 

[Angie]

Absolutely livid. Every single thing I predicted about what the GP would say came true. Had absolutely no clue. None at all. Referred me for an x ray as went to the laziest possible diagnosis "maybe arthritis". I don't think arthritis causes burning pain in your genitals/perineum. Dickhead. Pardon the pun. I had this exactly 10 years ago when I had a mild meniscus issue in my knee. Sent me for an x-ray. It wasnt arthritis at all. And neither will this be.

I am sorry. It sucks when doctors don't help.

 

[AvidFan]

I am sorry. It sucks when doctors don't help.

Thank you. It made me rage-research using AI and Google and I've actually found the smoking gun. I searched for Obturator Internus issues and the symptoms that came up were word for word every symptom I've had. This muscle even latches around the hip and attaches to pelvic floor and it would explain every twinge, twang, tingle and stab. All of it connected.

I now know the route I need is certainly a male pelvic floor physio (I mean one for males, not necessarily a male!). They need to do myofascial release and sort that out BEFORE I start doing hip strength exercises. Annoyed the first physio didn't spot this connection though.

The GP said if it wasn't arthritis it might be sciatica. The killer punch? All of the above is known to mimick sciatica, right down to the leg tingling.

Well Doctor Avid solves the case. Now I need to look into this expensive and very personal therapy but it appears there may be hope. It feels like the last puzzle piece finally fell into place 😲

 

[LumberJack]

This morning I felt terrible. Now, I am merely angry and bitter.
Lately I've been trying to steer my thoughts in a different direction when I start to even imagine the topic of suicide.
When I start to think of it, I want to do it. Like seriously. Supposedly life is this great, meaningful thing, but why?
Why can't I just die.

 

[Angie]

Thank you. It made me rage-research using AI and Google and I've actually found the smoking gun. I searched for Obturator Internus issues and the symptoms that came up were word for word every symptom I've had. This muscle even latches around the hip and attaches to pelvic floor and it would explain every twinge, twang, tingle and stab. All of it connected.

I now know the route I need is certainly a male pelvic floor physio (I mean one for males, not necessarily a male!). They need to do myofascial release and sort that out BEFORE I start doing hip strength exercises. Annoyed the first physio didn't spot this connection though.

The GP said if it wasn't arthritis it might be sciatica. The killer punch? All of the above is known to mimick sciatica, right down to the leg tingling.

Well Doctor Avid solves the case. Now I need to look into this expensive and very personal therapy but it appears there may be hope. It feels like the last puzzle piece finally fell into place 😲

well done!

 

[Lostman85]

Feeling really low but self medicating cause kind of desperate I guess. Trying not to kill myself but want to

 

[may71]

Sending hugs to anyone who would like hugs

 

[Bannanathing]

This topic is simple. Post how you are right now. It could be what your thinking, doing, listening to, writing...whatever! Because you know what they say:

"Get out of the past, stop dreading the future, and worry about now!"

Right now, I'm so-so, not happy, not sad, but less stressed because it's Saturday.

It's 01:20 ish and I am drunk and high and wondering/worrying if I'll be sober enough to get to work and function enough, I have to go because not going will likely mean I lose the job, and I need the money right? but it just feels pointless.
I did get a new appointment with the doctor for a mental health assessment though, so as long as I actually go to that things should start going the right way, but that worries me too as dumb as it sounds.

 

[I_waste_everything]

ashamed of myself for my lustfulness. I hate this. Why did God give this urge, with this much potency, frequency, and longevity, to an ugly bastard (by my own fault; I keep eating badly and haven't regularized moisturizing or skincare. I'm not woe-is-me-I-was-born-unhandsome "ugly"; I have no excuse in genetics) who is neglectful to earn anyone to give it to, and who has a propensity for intrusive thoughts and stewing in lack-of-solution without actually climbing out of it?

This isn't new. I could write a five-hundred page memoir on my hatred of my own adult feelings, dating back to before puberty, in small print, if I could remember everything perfectly and reliably. Well, after having dulled myself to it for a while, I'm reconnecting now. And when I think about what I am, I know it wasn't truly Eve at all who sinned in Eden; Adam or his grandsons have been slandering her to cover up his-our ugliness. Especially when like me.

For this, how I feel now is adult-feeling-rampant, and wrenching at myself for it.

 

[I_waste_everything]

Feeling really low but self medicating cause kind of desperate I guess. Trying not to kill myself but want to

Hold on tight. We're rooting for you.

 

[Lostman85]

Hold on tight. We're rooting for you.

Thank you everything. We care bout you. So stay safe.

 

[LumberJack]

if only all of us lost causes could somehow physically comfort one another. Maybe it's just me but I don't think it would be a public health topic if it wasn't a whole fucking lot of us.... how long have we been making do with counterfeit approximations of human connection? The whole time thinking that because of the fact that everyone else is a screen addicted zombie - that we are the crazy ones here? I'm dying to just put down the device reach out for a human voice that isn't my own. And in some dystopian future of the not so distant past... I legit don't think I can let that person who is not good with the status quo see the broad daylight because that mofo would garner the attention of people whose attention I would rather stay out of... Yeah maybe I'm paranoid. But I'm not the only one. Maybe San Jude Tadeo will take mercy upon us. Maybe our ancestors who we have forgotten to our destruction will somehow come through before we destroy each other and ourselves in the process.

Here's Tom with the weather. Fuck these idiots, Bill. You were prescient in getting off this rock. God speed.

 

[AvidFan]

if only all of us lost causes could somehow physically comfort one another. Maybe it's just me but I don't think it would be a public health topic if it wasn't a whole fucking lot of us.... how long have we been making do with counterfeit approximations of human connection? The whole time thinking that because of the fact that everyone else is a screen addicted zombie - that we are the crazy ones here? I'm dying to just put down the device reach out for a human voice that isn't my own. And in some dystopian future of the not so distant past... I legit don't think I can let that person who is not good with the status quo see the broad daylight because that mofo would garner the attention of people whose attention I would rather stay out of... Yeah maybe I'm paranoid. But I'm not the only one. Maybe San Jude Tadeo will take mercy upon us. Maybe our ancestors who we have forgotten to our destruction will somehow come through before we destroy each other and ourselves in the process.

Here's Tom with the weather. Fuck these idiots, Bill. You were prescient in getting off this rock. God speed.

I think there will be a change in society as people gradually reject screens and social media and AI and go back to human only spaces. I hope so anyway!

 

[AvidFan]

I am buzzing a bit but am still in problem solving and research mode. It is empowering but exhausting.

 

[AvidFan]

Are the clouds clearing? Got my tax back from accountant and owe way less than I expected. Leaving me money to pay for private consultant to fix me - appointment booked in for next week. Still don't quite believe it - have emailed accountant to double check. Really? You've given me good news, I am shocked, please justify this anomaly! 😂😂😂

 

[may71]

Why did God give this urge

I guess lust has to exist to give humans an incentive to reproduce. Maybe that's not the only reason, but it's one of them.

I know it wasn't truly Eve at all who sinned in Eden; Adam or his grandsons have been slandering her

If we made a list of who is blameworthy, there would probably be some men and some women on it, with varying degrees of severity. The same for a list of who has merit.

 

[AvidFan]

Ashamed and panicked. I got something extremely simple wrong on a job, and might have destroyed an entire project. I feel sick. Today had been going OK up to that point and I thought things were turning around. I'm stuck in a loop of self-recrimination. Rationally I know anyone could have made the error I did. But emotionally it feels like I'm the dumbest idiot on the planet. Keep telling myself I'll forget about it by next week, but I could lose this work all over again and only just got it back. Feel sick.

 

[LumberJack]

Rationally I know anyone could have made the error I did. But emotionally it feels like I'm the dumbest idiot on the planet. Keep telling myself I'll forget about it by next week, but I could lose this work all over again and only just got it back. Feel sick.

I get that. I know it sucks because I have done similar things and I was disappointed in myself. FWIW I would not criticize anyone for that type of mistake (unless it’s happening repeatedly in the same type of problem). I know how easy it is to beat oneself up over it, but it happens.