In the hospital making sure I didn't calapse my lungs again. Been throwing up all day. Everything goes wrong for me. I cant wait to be gone cause my life is so bad its never going to get better. Life sucks. I know im being harsh but nothing ever goes right for me. Nomatter how hard I try I just hate myself more. Well hope everyone has a great night or day cause im going to struggle more tomorrow.
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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Physically, I’m still wrestling with fatigue. I was doing well with refraining from my lower level OCD behaviors, but my willpower buckled and I pulled an all-nighter last night. I wish I could say I was inventing something, but in reality it was a lot of scattered cleaning where I start 6 things before I've finished one, and then I cannot stop until they're all wrapped up. Unfortunately I reached physical exhaustion first so I still have chores on my plate.
Emotionally I'm doing relatively okay. The intrusive thoughts re: suicide are still there, but they are not interrupting my daily activities. I still get waves of doom and gloom mentality that wash over me, but they pass as quickly as they come on.
Emotionally I'm doing relatively okay. The intrusive thoughts re: suicide are still there, but they are not interrupting my daily activities. I still get waves of doom and gloom mentality that wash over me, but they pass as quickly as they come on.
Feel stressed out and very overwhelmed. I really hate that I have to struggle so bad. I never new i was ever gonna be in a position to lose everything or end up gone for good. Im never gonna be able to function correctly again. I shouldn't be here now. All I want is to be gone so everyone can be happy and move on. Im to much of a failure and im the reason everyone is miserable. I cant take much more pain. Im tired of hurting.
I understand that feeling it isn't fun. I really hope pull through and feel better. I know you feel alone through this and it hurts but you will get through it cause you ain't alone im going through it with you. You have lots of people who care bought you. If you need to talk we are for you. Feel better. 
Irritated over waking up to what sounded like a brief dogfight in the hallway outside my apartment.
I am starting to suspect that this building is where the irresponsible dog owners end up. If someone can’t be bothered to consider whether apartment life is appropriate for their ill-tempered, highly vocal, and territorial animal, it shouldn’t be my problem.
But I have to live in the middle of what sounds like the damn doggy day care, so it is.
I am starting to suspect that this building is where the irresponsible dog owners end up. If someone can’t be bothered to consider whether apartment life is appropriate for their ill-tempered, highly vocal, and territorial animal, it shouldn’t be my problem.
But I have to live in the middle of what sounds like the damn doggy day care, so it is.
Normies don’t understand. They have never been forced to, because society is set up by the majority. But if we’re neurodivergent, then it’s entirely our job to figure out how to accommodate them.
They are not doing it on purpose, most likely. They just don’t have a slot in their relational schematic for different types of people.
They are not doing it on purpose, most likely. They just don’t have a slot in their relational schematic for different types of people.