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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

LumberJack

Honk If You're a Silly Goose
SF Supporter
Canceled my plans due to the rain and wind of the northeaster here in the USA. Hear the voice of my ex hubby telling me "it's just a little rain and wind" in my head but I won't listen to it. But I still feel guilty.
I’m glad you’re challenging the thoughts that a nor’easter is “just a little” wind & rain. That would be an afternoon shower. The fact that we have a separate term for “nor’easter” as opposed to calling it a storm suggests that it’s in a different class.
 
I'm a bit worried about my parents getting older. I plan on going back to my hometown next month in order to be able to see them. My mom had a small thrombosis two years ago, which shook me a lot (and her as well, obviously). She's been taking good care of herself ever since, but you never know. My mom means a lot to me.
It’s hard I know, I don’t how old your mom is or where your mom’s small clot was but it sound like she probably didn’t have side effects and that she’s doing well if she is taking care of herself with things like diet and exercise or whatever her doctors are telling her to do She might be on medication as well for prevention or high blood pressure issues or clot prevention or other diagnoses?
I’m glad you are getting a visit soon and you sound like a very caring son
Be well
 
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LumberJack

Honk If You're a Silly Goose
SF Supporter
I’m nervous today, or disappointed in myself. I had signed up for a weekend meditation program at my local center, but didn’t get it on my calendar. It was yesterday, and there is a sort of wrap-up Sunday (today) in the afternoon. It’s a hybrid program, so it’s likely that Saturday was recorded, so it’s not a total loss.
At the same time it’s not the content that interests me, but rather the opportunity to spend dedicated time for meditation with like minded people.

I am going to show up for the weekly public sitting in the morning and then attend the last session of the weekend program right after that. It’s still a hit to my frustration with being so flaky. I have been working on doing better with calendar diligence, and being where I need to be when I said I’d be there in general. It stings, but I can only manage what I do going forward.
 
I’m nervous today, or disappointed in myself. I had signed up for a weekend meditation program at my local center, but didn’t get it on my calendar. It was yesterday, and there is a sort of wrap-up Sunday (today) in the afternoon. It’s a hybrid program, so it’s likely that Saturday was recorded, so it’s not a total loss.
At the same time it’s not the content that interests me, but rather the opportunity to spend dedicated time for meditation with like minded people.

I am going to show up for the weekly public sitting in the morning and then attend the last session of the weekend program right after that. It’s still a hit to my frustration with being so flaky. I have been working on doing better with calendar diligence, and being where I need to be when I said I’d be there in general. It stings, but I can only manage what I do going forward.
Have a good time today with it. Sounds great and be in the present. It’s still supportive even if you just have today’s sitting and live group conciousness and connection
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I’m nervous today, or disappointed in myself. I had signed up for a weekend meditation program at my local center, but didn’t get it on my calendar. It was yesterday, and there is a sort of wrap-up Sunday (today) in the afternoon. It’s a hybrid program, so it’s likely that Saturday was recorded, so it’s not a total loss.
At the same time it’s not the content that interests me, but rather the opportunity to spend dedicated time for meditation with like minded people.

I am going to show up for the weekly public sitting in the morning and then attend the last session of the weekend program right after that. It’s still a hit to my frustration with being so flaky. I have been working on doing better with calendar diligence, and being where I need to be when I said I’d be there in general. It stings, but I can only manage what I do going forward.
I hope it goes well. Last week I missed a gig I spent £70 in January because it somehow didn't show up in my calendar. I'd had the week from hell and it just didn't register. I was quite upset about it but my life in September 2026 had changed quite a bit from January 2026 ☹️
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Anxious. The garden tasker is here, he's broke my gate to bits, it was falling apart anyway. But meanwhile discovered more issues at the back of my house. I reached my capacity to cope a long time ago but life is just throwing more and more problems. There may be solutions for a person with resources and practical support. There is no solution for someone who is exhausted, stressed out of their mind, and already struggling with their health. How did I fucking end up like this? Everytime I say I can't cope with any more, life just turns up the stress dial a bit more. And more. And more. It's taking and not giving, I can't afford to live, my family don't care and currently my mind is saying there is only one solution to this.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Am relieved garden is done now. But seeing mortar missing from the back window where am sure it wasn't missing before - and seeing the metal lintel exposed to the elements was enough to almost tip me over the edge. Another thing to worry about. Meanwhile the guy said he can do stuff and can try some cheap things, but admitted he's not a building expert. But if he can patch some things up it might buy me a couple of years. He was talking about £10s of pounds to go up a ladder and put a quick fix on. Meanwhile I expect tomorrow I a going to get the £30k house needs demolished and rebuilding story from these apparent builders (ie blokes in the pub who decided we can slap some cement around things let's get into the building game and rip people off).
 
I reached my capacity to cope a long time ago but life is just throwing more and more problems. There may be solutions for a person with resources and practical support. There is no solution for someone who is exhausted, stressed out of their mind, and already struggling with their health. How did I fucking end up like this? Everytime I say I can't cope with any more, life just turns up the stress dial a bit more. And more. And more. It's taking and not giving, I can't afford to live, my family don't care and currently my mind is saying there is only one solution to this.
I relate AvidFan and feel for you. Life it seems is a constant source of problems and is unforgiving to those already hurting or dealing with an old problem while getting new worries at the same time. I totally get the 'my mind saying there's one solution' over and over. We do the best we can with that. Take care,
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I relate AvidFan and feel for you. Life it seems is a constant source of problems and is unforgiving to those already hurting or dealing with an old problem while getting new worries at the same time. I totally get the 'my mind saying there's one solution' over and over. We do the best we can with that. Take care,
Thank you, I feel for you too. You take care too ❤️
 
I just stuffed myself on a horribly unhealthy curiosity. Boudins. Now I know what they taste like.

This time, no forced anger or tirade, or dubious-in-truthfulness guilt or shame. I chose to buy it. I chose to put it in the airfryer. I chose to eat most of them.

They do taste kind of good. But not enough to justify the sucker punch I just inflicted on my weightloss journey. The taste that's supposed to be there, I know- seafood imbedding with some spiciness- is so faint, it's more like a bare minimum tint on what is otherwise just a ball of fried empty calories- empty in taste, not just nutritionally.

I'll remember them as okay. I can say I've checked-off-my-list, the to-do of eating some alone to learn what they taste like. If I were some super-athlete living my best life, burning more calories in a day than a normal person burns in a week, I'm sure I'd like them... as a side-dish. But for who and what I am and my relationship with food, they're bland-tasting disappointing things that really make clear the "empty" in "empty calories".

Plus, they're swelling up in my gut; I can feel my stomach hurting as I write this. For some foodstuffs that might actually be a good thing. But this, I think, might be because - following the instructions on the packaging - I might have undercooked them. And I'm not spending the same price, again, just to have better-cooked mediocrity.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Awake. The day could kick in at 9am, or anytime from 9-11am or it might not kick in at all. Depends if these people turn up. Kicking in could look very different for my nervous system depending on what happens. Then I will have a laugh with my pelvic floor physio, one of whose questions will be "how are your stress levels" - given I am nothing but a ball of stress at the moment.
 

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