You know, I was doing fine, with my normal level of bad and all. Being able to go to class, taking notes and stuff, even with colored pens and markers! That's me being fancy when I don't feel so bad.
It all went down the drain the moment this... psychologist? (I don't know if she is) came to the classroom to give us emotional support and advice.
This is the second time she has come already, and after she leaves, I feel BAAAAAD. I could kill myself on the spot.
She doesn't say anything bad; it is all positive stuff, like manage your emotions and such.
But I feel BAD during these sessions. I think it's because they are meant for people in a better mental space than me.
She reminds me of all my bad feelings and thoughts. She doesn't mention them or even talk to me; she talks in a general way for everybody in the classroom, but it hurts...
I think she is a trigger for all my bad emotions.
She makes us talk or think about our feelings and then tells us to confront them. Maybe for someone with less strong emotions and fewer bad thoughts and feelings in general, the experience doesn't mean any trouble. It is healthy for them. But for me, it's just invoking all the demons from the deepest pits of hell and leaving me alone without even a leash to keep them under control.
Dang, I don't want her to come back.
I also don't want to be mean or anything, because I know that not participating in the activities she brings and putting on a bad face could make her feel bad.
Anyways... I feel baaaaaaaad