How do you cope with having lost so much time to depression?

[buka]

I lost "only" three years, but I regret it deeply. I hate myself for not managing to overcome it. I mourn the lost time so much. I was expelled from university due to absences and quit my job because of apathy.
I’ve enrolled in university again now—studying tuition-free—and things seem to be going okay. But I still feel bad, and I really regret the time I lost.

 

[DarkNightshade]

I'm not sure this feeling will ever completely vanish from my mind. I also have this thought, from time to time, that I've lost many months here and there and, while I was in hell, people kept enjoying life. I think the key lies in acceptance, which is not an easy feat, granted. I acknowledge the past, the thought, and then try to move on with my life, because that's the only thing I have control over.

 

[may71]

I think sometimes you need to mourn. It's ok to do that, at least a little. It's also very easy to make oneself miserable by being too attached to what one feels has been lost.

Making a list of what you're grateful for, or just generally thinking about what things you have to be grateful for can help.

One of the things that has helped me is to imagine that things that I don't like that have happened to me have been burning away my karma. It's not that I've got more karma than other people necessarily, it's just that people typically have a lot of it, and it's actually good for you to have it burned away.

I don't know if there's actually karma or not, but I can prove from my own experience that entertaining this notion can help you be more at peace.

One of the most frequently recommended CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) books for depression is this:

Mind Over Mood, Second Edition: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think

Dennis Greenberger, Christine A. Padesky

I haven't read it, but it's on the UK's reading-well book list, and every book there has been vetted by at least one healthcare professional. It's also been recommended by members here.

 

[Windhover]

I lost "only" three years, but I regret it deeply. I hate myself for not managing to overcome it. I mourn the lost time so much. I was expelled from university due to absences and quit my job because of apathy.
I’ve enrolled in university again now—studying tuition-free—and things seem to be going okay. But I still feel bad, and I really regret the time I lost.

I don't know if I would be judged as succissfully coping. But I think cope with it by giving myself lots of leeway to see what small options are still open. Exercise and a consistent practice of my work/creativity is essential for me. I've been putting it into a story more or less, seeing it as a normal challenge - and over the millenia - part of a human soul's life on this planet. It doesn't stop the sadness, but it stops me from feeling I'm doing it wrong.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

That’s a question I have just acknowledged recently. I am ashamed. I am sad the years are gone. I can’t change the past. And I sadly feel quite powerless to change the future.
grief, acceptance, trying to find happiness in the little things - all seem like great advice.

Great question. Helpful for me to think about.

 

[Gonz]

You don’t. You do your best not to think about it and focus on the future.

I’m sorry, I don’t mean that to sound trite, I mean I’ve felt the way you’ve felt and that’s all I’ve found that a person can do.