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I’m feeling very bad and guilty

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BlueKoala

Well-Known Member
#1
Hello, I’ve been feeling worse than usual. Usually I don’t get these feelings of such degree, but I feel... bad.
I’m part of the LGBT (B) and I’m living with anti-LGBT parents. I feel like I’m useless, they were supporting me all of this time, and I just let them down on the one thing they are against. I know that phobia of LGBT isn’t a good thing, but my parents are so kind and caring about literally everything else. They aren’t the stereotypical sexist or racist people. They’re very kind.
I also feel like a burden. I try to help with house chores, all the time, I really do, even to the point of spending all of my free weekend time on them and even some after school time too. Especially my mom...she always does most of the chores, and so well too and I just can’t seem to get any chores done correctly. I have decent-ish grades but I’m also feeling really panicked about school.
I feel like I’m useless. I can’t get anything done right, no matter how hard I try... I feel like I’m trying to run on oil. It’s so hard, and I can’t do anything right and I feel like a burden.
I don’t know what to do anymore! I feel like it’d be better to just disappear, even though I know that isn’t right.
I feel very guilty for letting them down in more ways than one — Sexuality, chores, school, and everything
I’m sorry I don’t have anything positive to say, and thank you for reading my post
 

MosesY

Functioning Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#2
Good morning @BlueKoala . I hope that you have a better day. You need to remember that you did not choose your sex and neither did your parents; You were born with it. So far as doing chores and having your mother criticize you that is normal. Your mother does not like seeing you grow into an adult and thus leaving the house; she loves you and cares for you. Most mothers criticize the way their children do chores. I am not sure why but it is normal. I am a boy and my dad always criticized me. For instance he criticized the way I swing a hammer. I can swing a hammer now and pound a nail faster than anyone I know because I was always trying to get my dad's approval. My father's approval is not what I really needed; I needed to believe in myself. You need to believe in yourself, believe that you are good and believe that you are worth something. You have life and that means you are worth something; you have some amazing talents, you are an amazing person, and you need to believe that. I am 52 years old and just recently discovered that. I hope you have a good day; I love you and care about you. Hugs to you.
 

SkyTree

Well-Known Member
#3
It's okay to be yourself even if that's against what your parents believe. I also have loving parents who are anti-gay. I'm not LGBT but I know that if I was it would be very difficult so I understand how you feel. I can tell you try to do your best to help out and that's great. It means you are a good person, worthy of life. So don't think it's better if you disappear! You are loved!
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#4
i do understand how your parents feel, it's not really their fault. usually parents feel that way because of religious beliefs or misinformation. and nowhere in the bible does it say it's wrong. when you are ready to come out all the way be ready. try to get info on the facts that it's not a choice it's the way you were born, you had no choice. it sounds like you have intelligent parents and if you can show them facts they probably will accept it. they may not like it because it's harder to live that way. i had the "gay" talk with all my kids when they hit puberty and told them if they were to talk to me and i'd be accepting.

and as far as not being able to do anything right, you're a teenager. it's expected for you to screw some things up.if you make mistakes learn from them and move on. i don't know any teenager that didn't screw up. it does not define you, you are a good person learning about life.and as far as mom i agree most parents critize it's what they do. but if they do it out of love then it's a good thing. and try to focus on the good things that you do well...mike...*hug*brohug*shake
 

JDot

1 Peter 5:7
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
I'm sorry your parents don't approve of your sexuality. My parents don't approve of everything about me. But I've learned to be proud of who I am despite that. You do not require your parents' approval to be proud of who you are. You have the right to be you and to be proud of you. Remember we're here for you.
 

BlueKoala

Well-Known Member
#7
You are not a burden @BlueKoala *hug

Do your parents know about your sexuality?
No, fortunately, they do not. I’m not even sure I’m going to tell them! I’m afraid that they’re going to be harsh and cold to me, and that’s very scary (I know people have been kicked out for these types of things). I’m scared I’ll have a bad relationship with them, since I have an amazing one with them right now. They always tell me “you better not be like this haha” when they see gay couples on TV or say something like “you better not have any girlfriend”.
Thank you for replying. (And everyone for replying to this post!) It cheered me up :)
 
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