I’ve been punched in my C section scar.

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ItsJustARide

Well-Known Member
#1
I’m 6 months post partum - This is the third time my boyfriend has punched me in my c section scar, I’m in so much pain. I’ve only just had an appointment at the urgent medical care centre today because I feel swelling deep behind scar, we had a fight he and he’s punched me in it again. I’m trapped, he said he’s hated me the whole 2 years were together. I loved him so much, I’ve never been this low in life I don’t know how to get out. I can’t accept help from people something is stopping me leaving, I don’t want to be here but I have massive anxiety about just leaving. I just want to die. I love my daughter more than anything, and have changed so much for her. I see a councillor every week who helps but I can only be so honest so she doesn’t include other services. I’m scared, I can’t do this anymore. My arm is covered due to SHing.

All I want is to know how to be around him after what he’s done until I sort my shit out, family make me worse so can’t go there it’s not a solution. How do I control my anger and hate around him for now? I am disgusted by him and despise him, who the FUCK hits someone where they’ve had major surgery when it’s already hurting. Fucking ****. Advice on how to deal with anger in the heat of the moment and when he’s purposely trying to get to me? I just want to be the bigger person and not entertain him but my hormones are everywhere, I’m in so much pain I can’t look after myself anymore. I hurt so bad...
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#3
I’m 6 months post partum - This is the third time my boyfriend has punched me in my c section scar, I’m in so much pain. I’ve only just had an appointment at the urgent medical care centre today because I feel swelling deep behind scar, we had a fight he and he’s punched me in it again. I’m trapped, he said he’s hated me the whole 2 years were together. I loved him so much, I’ve never been this low in life I don’t know how to get out. I can’t accept help from people something is stopping me leaving, I don’t want to be here but I have massive anxiety about just leaving. I just want to die. I love my daughter more than anything, and have changed so much for her. I see a councillor every week who helps but I can only be so honest so she doesn’t include other services. I’m scared, I can’t do this anymore. My arm is covered due to SHing.

All I want is to know how to be around him after what he’s done until I sort my shit out, family make me worse so can’t go there it’s not a solution. How do I control my anger and hate around him for now? I am disgusted by him and despise him, who the FUCK hits someone where they’ve had major surgery when it’s already hurting. Fucking ****. Advice on how to deal with anger in the heat of the moment and when he’s purposely trying to get to me? I just want to be the bigger person and not entertain him but my hormones are everywhere, I’m in so much pain I can’t look after myself anymore. I hurt so bad...
I know how confusing this is, when you love someone and you desperately want them to love you and make everything ok again but honestly, a man who can do that is very dangerous. Even if he would never hurt your daughter he is going to harm you again and again. You ALREADY are the bigger person. For both you and your daughter's sake you have to leave as soon as possible. Are your family an option even for a short time? Is there anyone in your extended family perhaps? For the immediate time being you need to keep away from him and go 'grey rock' so any talking doesn't escalate. I do agree with @totaleclipse, a women's shelter is the best option if there is no one else you can turn to.
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#4
I’m 6 months post partum - This is the third time my boyfriend has punched me in my c section scar, I’m in so much pain. I’ve only just had an appointment at the urgent medical care centre today because I feel swelling deep behind scar, we had a fight he and he’s punched me in it again. I’m trapped, he said he’s hated me the whole 2 years were together. I loved him so much, I’ve never been this low in life I don’t know how to get out. I can’t accept help from people something is stopping me leaving, I don’t want to be here but I have massive anxiety about just leaving. I just want to die. I love my daughter more than anything, and have changed so much for her. I see a councillor every week who helps but I can only be so honest so she doesn’t include other services. I’m scared, I can’t do this anymore. My arm is covered due to SHing.

All I want is to know how to be around him after what he’s done until I sort my shit out, family make me worse so can’t go there it’s not a solution. How do I control my anger and hate around him for now? I am disgusted by him and despise him, who the FUCK hits someone where they’ve had major surgery when it’s already hurting. Fucking ****. Advice on how to deal with anger in the heat of the moment and when he’s purposely trying to get to me? I just want to be the bigger person and not entertain him but my hormones are everywhere, I’m in so much pain I can’t look after myself anymore. I hurt so bad...
Another thought - I'm thinking that reporting him while you are being seen by the medical services and before he can deny it might help your case. I'm someone who tries to smooth over the cracks too but I feel a restraining order is going to be needed. I do think you need to act quickly, you don't want this man being left in charge of your daughter.
 
#5
Hi @ItsJustARide
I am so sorry you had to go through this.
Maybe you can start reading the red flags from Dana Morgenstar, ‘thrive after abuse’, this is a good website for victims of abuse. It sounds like you are with a narcissist. I am afraid this only gets worse for you. Maybe you can Google ‘the cycle of abuse’ to understand that this is a common thing among abusers. They all follow the same path of destruction. Please go and start reading about this, find support in support groups online. Wish you the best, you deserve better. ❤️
 
#6
I know you've been here awhile. But, right now you need to get immediate help. Then, file a report against him. There are support services for you available that can help with a womans shelter. Please take advantage of any services offered. But, do not go back to him. You are way more better than him.
 

Lady Wolfshead

Shooting for the stars
#7
I am SO sorry he put you in pain like that. Please call the national domestic violence line at 1−800−799−7233 and talk to a counselor immediately. What is going to happen to your daughter when your boyfriend puts you in hospital with internal bleeding or fractures your skull? There is NO justification for what he is doing. What would you tell your daughter if she were grown up and a man did that to her?

I used to volunteer at a shelter for women escaping violence. They stayed there with their children - some of them babies. There are thousands of these shelters and they can help you. They WANT to help you. They will give you shelter and help you find something permanent. There are many people out there who will help you, but first you have to help yourself by making the phone call.

Good luck and keep us updated if you like. Big hugs to you.
 
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