It's in the title. I have long since graduated from high school via homeschool and no matter how many times I try to explain my unhappiness to my parents, they either exasperate me by pretending there is no problem or berating me for being negative and over emotional. While I have written about it all in My Story, one of my problems is that neither of us are ever on the same page. I have long since realized that it is up to me to actually care about me and fuck them because I am not waiting for them to help me.
However I do worry since while I can run to the US embassy and get out, I do not know what will happen to me afterwards since I am unemployable (due to just being high school and from homeschool nonetheless) and I do not have ample savings. The relatives I do have in the US are menaces and a cousin who once stayed with them had to move out for traumatic reasons. I also don't know what I should take with me. And also what will happen in the chance I do get away. Where will I stay or how could I provide myself? What is the exact process of running away? Maybe I need to prepare documents and financials but I don't know what and how exactly.
I know that it is brash and unwise but the more I stay here the more angry I feel and I end up doing things that I am not proud of to myself every day. I tried to get their attention but that landed me in the hospital and even then they didn't put me immediately in the hospital because they didn't want to spend too much money. Fuck, they are even putting off fixing my glasses and computer for fuck's sake. On that note, I don't think i will have a proper device besides an old Samsung which depletes battery fast so online work is also not a good option.
I just feel trapped and that I should either be run away from this fucking house or lock myself up somewhere. though there isn't any psych wards from where I am from I just feel fucking tired.
Any practical tips?
However I do worry since while I can run to the US embassy and get out, I do not know what will happen to me afterwards since I am unemployable (due to just being high school and from homeschool nonetheless) and I do not have ample savings. The relatives I do have in the US are menaces and a cousin who once stayed with them had to move out for traumatic reasons. I also don't know what I should take with me. And also what will happen in the chance I do get away. Where will I stay or how could I provide myself? What is the exact process of running away? Maybe I need to prepare documents and financials but I don't know what and how exactly.
I know that it is brash and unwise but the more I stay here the more angry I feel and I end up doing things that I am not proud of to myself every day. I tried to get their attention but that landed me in the hospital and even then they didn't put me immediately in the hospital because they didn't want to spend too much money. Fuck, they are even putting off fixing my glasses and computer for fuck's sake. On that note, I don't think i will have a proper device besides an old Samsung which depletes battery fast so online work is also not a good option.
I just feel trapped and that I should either be run away from this fucking house or lock myself up somewhere. though there isn't any psych wards from where I am from I just feel fucking tired.
Any practical tips?
