I can not trust. Please help me.

[Ange]

(new to the forum)

I am completely unable to trust just about anyone (yes, that means absolutely everybody you can possible think of). I’ve tried a lot of things, and nothing worked. I have no one because of this, and I hurt a lot of people while turning them down and accusing them of things they probably weren’t up to, but could be. I am strong, cold and always keep my thoughts to myself if the subject is “irrelevant”. Does anyone have any experience with this? Anyone with the same problem? How do I get out of this?

 

[full]

Did not have the same exact problem. However, here is a suggestion: put your attention to all the things you trust such as the road still exists after so many miles, or the other side of an arch bridge is there when you do not see it from the start. You trust the sun will rise and set. Things like that. Then think who made the streets, buldings, put in motion factories that produce our daily needs. Step by step deepen your trust in human race on a general level. At the same time work on a root cause of your distrust on a closer personal level. Find it in yourself. Final step is to trust people but bear in mind the imperfections of human beings and our everchanging personalities. Who was one way yesterday might not be that way ever again. Welcome to the forum

 

[Ange]

Work on a root cause of your distrust on a closer personal level. Final step is to trust people but bear in mind the imperfections of human beings and our everchanging personalities.

This is the hardest part. I'm not blind, and so I can clearly see and comprehend mistakes (more easily from other people than my own). We are not perfect, that is fact. However, when someone plots against you, having fully knowledge and awareness of what they are doing, this is no longer a mistake. Betrayal, isn’t a mistake, it is choice; and it's seems that (especially nowadays) people are choosing way too often to take advantage of whoever, or whatever they can, anyplace, anytime. This is unforgivable, and whenever this happens to me, I never forget nor forgive. I simply can’t bring my guard down near someone who possibly threatens me in any possible way.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

How do I get out of this?

Know yourself, trust yourself and be yourself. That's the best armor anyone can have in life. Once you have that, it's safe to let certain people in and give them the keys to where you live. No matter what they do, you'll be ok.

 

[drinty]

Hiya. I'm like you and I'm not. I trust people have good morals and don't wish to hurt others, but I also don't trust anything that they say. Conflict in my brain! I'm also strong but I've been told I'm naive. I also stopped caring what others think. I know what I say to others can be trusted. So meh I hope you find the answers you seek, sorry I can't offer any useful advice.

 

[Claire_from_Canada]

Know yourself, trust yourself and be yourself. That's the best armor anyone can have in life. Once you have that, it's safe to let certain people in and give them the keys to where you live. No matter what they do, you'll be ok.

I agree. If you trust yourself, and accept yourself for who you are, you don't have to worry about being judged. It can be hard to open up and tell people your secrets, but at the same time, they can't really know the real you until you let your guard down a little bit. So, start small. Tell one person one thing. See how they react. No matter what their reaction, how do you feel? What will it change for you? Your feelings and actions are the important ones in the equation.

Other people have failings and secrets as well. You might try offering to listen when a friend has a problem and empathizing and then reciprocating by telling them something about yourself. The risk of pain and/or rejection is there, but so is the risk of confidence and acceptance in a better relationship.

Welcome to the forums

 

[Inastorm]

Welcome to the forum. I had an issues for years trusting strangers in relation to my depression, I would tell people about how I was feeling and then it seemed they took advantage of it. Now I have a different approach in that before I didn't have confidence in myself and now I tell them that I might feel anxious or upset and it doesn't bother me what they think or do because im confidence in myself, they cant hurt me. Telling people now in a confident manner I feel x, makes me a stronger person, trust doesnt come into it, they can't hurt me like before, so I don't have to trust them, I can say what I like and they can like it or lump it.

 

[Ange]

I get the emotional part, but that's not exactly what I'm referring to when I say that people "betray" you. I'm talking about real danger. I don't care if they showed false emotions or pretended to be someone else, possibly trying to take "emotional advantage" of me. This has never affected me as I tend to be very cold towards anyone and pretty much don't care about them at all. The real problem lies when they gather sufficient amount of information about you to attempt something against you. Such as false accusations with false testimonies, trying to hack social network accounts to screw up your public image, poisoning your food, stuff alike. Although this sort of thing may seem rare, it happened every single time anyone besides my cousin got "just a little closer".

 

[Inastorm]

Sounds really bad, really sorry, the examples you give all sound like breaches of the law, I dont know which country your in but its sounds really serious, if these are things that are happening you should really be reporting the issues. I know its probably much more complicated than this simple reply, and I know, when you know its happening it can be difficult to gather evidence - hold on in there, this is a good forum and I hope you get some helpful replys.

 

[Innocent Forever]

Professional help is really the way to go....
Welcome!