Hindsight is 20/20.. yeah I could have avoided this problem if I had sucked it up and did my chores last week. Did I do that nope, and like usual my neglegence is sabatoging me. It had been a while since I last replaced my cats litter and I was also being lazy and not cleaning their litter everyday... yes I am that terrible of an owner... anyway apparently I am just so used to the smell that I cannot smell it anymore. Well I guess that it was really bad. Thus I received a warning from the apartment complex. I got the warning yesterday saying I need to get the smell under control. So naturally I did the initial bit of the chores doing all the cleaning that I could in that area. They said they will be by again tomorrow to "check" if I fixed the situation. Now I am just terrified that I am going to be evicted. I am doing everything that I can to clean the place up and make it not smell but like I said I cannot really tell even after I cleaned up with cleanser. I mean I could smell the cleanser but.. anyway. I have some odor absorbers on the way. Now why do I freak out. Well this is the second time my negligence has prompted a warning like this. Only difference is that last time someone actually came into my apartment. On top of that I moved into my apartment complex just before they started remodeling units and have not left for several years. So I know they want to remodel my unit.
So... I guess I am just paranoid that no matter what I do I will get an eviction notice. There is no way that I can pack up all my stuff, find a new place to live and move out in time. My mom is coming this weekend and I have no idea how I am going to explain to her that I just make my apartment smell because I am lazy and now I am getting evicted. To top it all off I cannot afford a move anyway. I just came off a streak of unemployment and now I am pretty much 100% broke. I also have no family here and no where to put my stuff.... I do not know... I do not want to lose my place when I am not expecting to lose my place... I do not know what to do. I am scared that they are just going to think I am masking the smell while they are inspecting... and I cannot figure out what to do anymore and it is causing me no small amount of stress. i cannot focus at work, and since I cannot smell how the "pet odors" I cannot tell if they are gone or at acceptable levels or whatever. All I can do is sit here and watch the clock as it slowly ticks away and I am freaking out because of my lies and stuff and... yeah...
I know I brought this on myself, I know my negligence is to blame and I really have no one to blame but myself. I just guess I am doing this to myself so I can have even more reason to just end everything and not exist anymore. Even worse is if I tell my mom the truth I get to literally spend the next year having her constantly whine at me. Which just adds more stress because I cannot every satisfy her requirements for what she feels is acceptable living and... yeah... so I am at a lose. I am tempted to just find a way to the roof of the building.... I do not know... I have no idea what I can do. I cannot just break my lease... I cannot afford that... nope... I am at a lose here.... So many hours till... well I do not know... it is not like if I do a good job they will tell me..... I hate it when no news is good news or maybe it is bad news and... I do not know... I do not want to have to go read my lease... and... hmmm yeah this sucks if I get evicted how will I be allowed to rent an apartment every again or anything like that... this sucks... I am really screwing myself over with my negligence.... and my poor kitties have to suffer because of me. Probably the worst thing I have ever done.
So... I guess I am just paranoid that no matter what I do I will get an eviction notice. There is no way that I can pack up all my stuff, find a new place to live and move out in time. My mom is coming this weekend and I have no idea how I am going to explain to her that I just make my apartment smell because I am lazy and now I am getting evicted. To top it all off I cannot afford a move anyway. I just came off a streak of unemployment and now I am pretty much 100% broke. I also have no family here and no where to put my stuff.... I do not know... I do not want to lose my place when I am not expecting to lose my place... I do not know what to do. I am scared that they are just going to think I am masking the smell while they are inspecting... and I cannot figure out what to do anymore and it is causing me no small amount of stress. i cannot focus at work, and since I cannot smell how the "pet odors" I cannot tell if they are gone or at acceptable levels or whatever. All I can do is sit here and watch the clock as it slowly ticks away and I am freaking out because of my lies and stuff and... yeah...
I know I brought this on myself, I know my negligence is to blame and I really have no one to blame but myself. I just guess I am doing this to myself so I can have even more reason to just end everything and not exist anymore. Even worse is if I tell my mom the truth I get to literally spend the next year having her constantly whine at me. Which just adds more stress because I cannot every satisfy her requirements for what she feels is acceptable living and... yeah... so I am at a lose. I am tempted to just find a way to the roof of the building.... I do not know... I have no idea what I can do. I cannot just break my lease... I cannot afford that... nope... I am at a lose here.... So many hours till... well I do not know... it is not like if I do a good job they will tell me..... I hate it when no news is good news or maybe it is bad news and... I do not know... I do not want to have to go read my lease... and... hmmm yeah this sucks if I get evicted how will I be allowed to rent an apartment every again or anything like that... this sucks... I am really screwing myself over with my negligence.... and my poor kitties have to suffer because of me. Probably the worst thing I have ever done.
