I speak from some experience when i say that no matter the criticisms people may have for it, pursuing your dreams is the right way to go. I'm gonna launch into a longish story, but it's to demonstrate my point, and i hope it helps instead of coming across like i'm trying to make this about me.
My dream is to be a therapist. I've known it since i first started doing traditional talk therapy myself. So at one point, i went and got an A-level equivalent diploma in counselling. But i had a lot of practical concerns about my ability to be present for the work, and i was really not in a place to handle the complexities of a field with such intangible results.
So i gave up on my dream, and started pursuing something the complete opposite - computing. A lot of people questioned why i'd done such a radical 180 in terms of fields, but it was because i wanted a field with clear, measurable results. You know you've written good code when the program does what you want it to without any errors.
Again, i got an A-level equivalent diploma, and i aced the course, full distinctions. It taught me a lot, and i made some good friends during that course, but i could already kinda tell it wasn't my field. I didn't feel in my element on that course in the same way my best friend did. The guy writes code
for fun. Which made it a very stupid decision for me to try and get a degree in it. From the word go, i felt totally out of my depth on that degree, and the stress of that feeling actually pushed me so far i became physically sick, and had to leave. Heartbreaking.
But i've spent the last few years working on myself, and i've realised exactly why i failed going down that path - it wasn't the right path for me. It wasn't my dream. And what i should have done was to keep working on myself until i became the person who could follow that dream, despite any doubts and anxieties i held. And now i feel like i'm finally becoming that person, and i'm back on track to live that dream. I only wish i'd had the faith in myself to stick with it when the doubts set in.
So all of that is to say that i think doubting if it's the right decision is a natural part of the process. But i cannot stress enough that if something feels like it's what you need to do with your life, you should trust in yourself and pursue it. Believe me when i say the difficulties you'll face doing what's right for you are likely going to pale in comparison to the misery you can feel trying to be somebody you simply
aren't.
My (personal, subjective) opinion is that if you want to be a children's book illustrator, you owe it to yourself to give it a real shot, even if other people have issues with it. I hope my long rambly post helps a bit with those anxieties, and that you find a path in life that makes you happy, because happiness is everything.
