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I don't know what I do wrong

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#1
My husband has started to have sudden moments of irritability and anger out of nowhere (literally we can be having a nice day/conversation and he'll suddenly turn). When I talk calmly (which I usually do) about it he gets defensive and angry and shouts at me. He acts like I'm crazy for thinking he's upset when he very clearly is (it isn't just me who notices it). I've been having a bad day with my chronic pain today and for him to suddenly act like this out of nowhere and insulting me and saying things that he KNOWS hurts me the most just for the sake of hurting me, all the things I've confinded in him, all my weaknesses etc.. it's too much. I'm too suicidal (obviously lol) for this, he knows all of this but he seems to just want to hurt me out of nowhere. His dad has bipolar and I'm wondering if it's a genetic thing? Maybe he is developing it? I don't know much about bipolar but hes 24 is it too late for him to get it?
 

Were all together

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
It could be anger issues. Not of you, but your diagnosis. Therapy could help. But, I know most men refuse any notion of going to therapy. He could go to his physican and get something for that. It would calm him down. But, in reality he needs to get to the bottom of what is making him angry. Maybe, your therapist can suggest a couples therapist?
 

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#4
It could be anger issues. Not of you, but your diagnosis. Therapy could help. But, I know most men refuse any notion of going to therapy. He could go to his physican and get something for that. It would calm him down. But, in reality he needs to get to the bottom of what is making him angry. Maybe, your therapist can suggest a couples therapist?
Maybe, he does get angry very easily over really tiny things (not just with me). I don't know if it's about my condition because I didn't talk about it today (I try not to unless I really need to) so I'm not sure, maybe he's always angry about it. I wish we could, he refuses any and all help and would never see anyone about his issues. Even when at last resort I ask him to do it for me because it's affecting our relationship and making my condition harder to live with (stress flares is badly) he still only sees that he is right and doesn't have a problem.

He might have depression or bipolar disorder that hasn't been diagnosed. Men express their depression as anger. He should see a therapist.
I didn't know that, I really hope he doesn't have bipolar, of cause I'll support him always but he fights any and all help and would never see someone or get medication for it. :(

Thank you both for helping by the way! :)
 

Were all together

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
His anger could be adding to your stress, thus, inflaming your condition. The possiblity of getting him to counseling, may reduce your symtoms. So, it's something you both might try.
 

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#6
His anger could be adding to your stress, thus, inflaming your condition. The possiblity of getting him to counseling, may reduce your symtoms. So, it's something you both might try.
I hope he will one day, so far it doesn't seem likely. :( But yeah it's really not helping my condition but he doesn't seem to care about that. :/
 

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