I dont know what to do

[Cheelow]

Last night was the closet i've been to an actual attempt. Ive always been suicidal i guess or at least thought how it would be so much better if i wasnt here anymore. last night though i even scared myself i took one pill then another then three. It wasnt enough to kill me but it knocked me out for awhile. i don't know what to do anymore and i dont have anyone to talk to. i wish people would stop telling me that i shouldn't feel this way because that just makes it worse.

 

[total eclipse]

You can talk here you can talk to your doctor ok get help. You can talk to a crisis line who will guide you to supports in your community hun You are not alone ok i know it feels that way but there are people to reach out to so do it ok

 

[Cheelow]

I talked to a crisis line and as soon as we got done talking it got bad again.

 

[demuredawn]

How did it get bad again? Did you call them back so they could help you again?

 

[Petal]

I am not going to tell you that you shouldn't feel this way but I am going to tell you not to give up. If the pills are readily for temptation and there for an attempt please throw them out. Out of sight,out of mind. I do wonder though, what's brought you to this point in your life?

 

[Cheelow]

It just seems like ever since I graduated high-school things got bad. My first year of college I made no friends and I went from getting straight A's to failing because my anxiety was so bad I couldn't leave my room. I got fired for the first time because one of my coworkers were jealous that I got more hours then her so she got her roommate to call and make a bunch of complaints that weren't true. I was in recovery for about a year with my eating disorder but I've relapsed and now it's worse than ever. I took two semesters off and recently went back but yesterday I got dropped from my classes for non-payment so now I have to pay in full up front and I don't have it. And if I can't get back in my classes I have to reapply to the school but they won't accept me because my GPA is so low. I have to hold everything inside because everybody tells me I'm not allowed to feel this way and if I want to I can just get over it.