s @dying_inside I'm terribly sorry for the pain you're going through & the feelings that are surrounding & enveloping you.
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I dont want to be alive anymore
- Thread starter dying_inside
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s @dying_inside I'm terribly sorry for the pain you're going through & the feelings that are surrounding & enveloping you.
We're all here for you, so don't feel that way... because you're not crying or seeking attention in my book! You have every right to express yourself through the pain & misery, as well as all the suffering you've endured--& continue to battle through. Quite admirably, I might add! Your courageous spirit is infectious, and noteworthy, to me. So don't worry about anything, or anyone else. Because all that really matters in this equation - is "You." Take care. . . : )
Thank you.
I can hardly get up from bed.
My support system doesnt work on sundays.
My Heart Is ripping apart.
I had decided to go back starving myself from tomorrow but mom changed plans and im autistic so for me its the end of the world.
Im all alone in bed all day with nobody to talk with.
I was going to do it but i didnt want mom to feel guilty.
Im on the edge. Everything is unbearable. I wanna do it but i cant... But i really really wanna do it...
I can hardly get up from bed.
My support system doesnt work on sundays.
My Heart Is ripping apart.
I had decided to go back starving myself from tomorrow but mom changed plans and im autistic so for me its the end of the world.
Im all alone in bed all day with nobody to talk with.
I was going to do it but i didnt want mom to feel guilty.
Im on the edge. Everything is unbearable. I wanna do it but i cant... But i really really wanna do it...
I'm sorry, that sounds really hard and tough. It would be an extremely trying place to be for you dying_inside. I wish that this day of the week didn't have to be this way, and that you could find some remedy to make it different, or at least better. Is there anything you can do - to change your way of operating, or behaving on these given days? In other words, are you capable, do you think... of trying something else for a change? Just in case it might spark something, that could then lead to a new & fresh perpective on how you view the day. Or just make things a bit more interesting for you?
Now, on this 'starvation' thing...
I do understand the disruption in plans, and how that can upset the balance of things, in order for you to remain calm, and / or to have a sense of "normalcy."
Now, on this 'starvation' thing...
I do understand the disruption in plans, and how that can upset the balance of things, in order for you to remain calm, and / or to have a sense of "normalcy."
Is there anything with which you can occupy your mind @dying_inside ? I hope you stay safe. 
Sounds like you made a wise decision @dying_inside - I'm hoping things have gone ok at your parents' house. . .
Tomorrow will be here soon enough, I trust! : )
Tomorrow will be here soon enough, I trust! : )
Thank you all for your support. today is a better day. im at my parents', taking my meds and i have seen Psych this morning and it helped too.
i also got a phone call from the hospital where i could do the esketamine treatment and they gave me an appt in 2 weeks. i hope they'll decide im good material for this treatment.
meanwhile i'll stay at my parents' until friday. they want to see me at the MHC every day so my parents' home is closer and easier for me to go there every single day.
im still convinced im doomed to die by sui but for now i have gained a week or two.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT, IT MEANS A LOT TO ME.
Love to all.
i also got a phone call from the hospital where i could do the esketamine treatment and they gave me an appt in 2 weeks. i hope they'll decide im good material for this treatment.
meanwhile i'll stay at my parents' until friday. they want to see me at the MHC every day so my parents' home is closer and easier for me to go there every single day.
im still convinced im doomed to die by sui but for now i have gained a week or two.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT, IT MEANS A LOT TO ME.
Love to all.
@dying_inside
I am glad to hear that you are feeling better, I hope it continues and that you know you always have folks here that care about you and will listen.
I am glad to hear that you are feeling better, I hope it continues and that you know you always have folks here that care about you and will listen.