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I feel like I'm suffocating

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Not-So-Well Caffeine Addicted
It hurts. It always hurts, though I try to stop caring. Everywhere I go is the same, I move from school, they are there. I move from town they're there ... It's painful.

I feel stupid for believing that it has changed. That was not going to be the same here either.

Until last Friday. 31st of March.

This time it feels so worse than every time. Because this is the first time, that the aggressor is a teacher, not a student. It hurts.

This teacher approached me, and told me to do an exercise. He knew I did not know how to do this exercise. He knew, because I had left earlier in class to help someone, I explained the situation before leaving, in his last class. When he told me to do the exercise, I said I did not know how to solve it.

Then he made me walk to the front of the room, look at everyone and say that I did not know how to exercise because I was stupid. It hurt. It hurt alot. I felt humiliated, my voice trembled, I began to sweat and almost freaked out to say that. I went back to my chair after saying those things, and I shivered so much that I felt that people could hear the sound of the chair shaking on the floor with me.

I do not want to go there anymore. I do not want to see him anymore. I do not want to exist anymore. I think if I go, I'll do something bad with myself again.


罗马. Need someone to talk to? I'm here!
Hello there CoffeeAddicted, it's nice to meet you again. I'm so sorry for what the teacher has done to you.

I'd like to remind you that it's not your fault. If you don't know how to do something, you shouldn't be blamed for it. What the teacher did was absolutely cruel and I want you to know how awful of a deed it was. Please, do not blame yourself.

I'd also like to remind you that the other students most likely do not care. I'm sure more than one person didn't know how to solve the problem either, so if anything, they just feel bad for you and how cruel the teacher was. It's easier to stay silent during these situations than speak out, so likely the students were just scared to say anything and let it happens. But, deep down, any student will understand. We are here at school to learn, so it's no issue that you perhaps didn't know how to solve it. You're not stupid, I promise.

Take care out there.
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