It hurts. It always hurts, though I try to stop caring. Everywhere I go is the same, I move from school, they are there. I move from town they're there ... It's painful.
I feel stupid for believing that it has changed. That was not going to be the same here either.
Until last Friday. 31st of March.
This time it feels so worse than every time. Because this is the first time, that the aggressor is a teacher, not a student. It hurts.
This teacher approached me, and told me to do an exercise. He knew I did not know how to do this exercise. He knew, because I had left earlier in class to help someone, I explained the situation before leaving, in his last class. When he told me to do the exercise, I said I did not know how to solve it.
Then he made me walk to the front of the room, look at everyone and say that I did not know how to exercise because I was stupid. It hurt. It hurt alot. I felt humiliated, my voice trembled, I began to sweat and almost freaked out to say that. I went back to my chair after saying those things, and I shivered so much that I felt that people could hear the sound of the chair shaking on the floor with me.
I do not want to go there anymore. I do not want to see him anymore. I do not want to exist anymore. I think if I go, I'll do something bad with myself again.
I feel stupid for believing that it has changed. That was not going to be the same here either.
Until last Friday. 31st of March.
This time it feels so worse than every time. Because this is the first time, that the aggressor is a teacher, not a student. It hurts.
This teacher approached me, and told me to do an exercise. He knew I did not know how to do this exercise. He knew, because I had left earlier in class to help someone, I explained the situation before leaving, in his last class. When he told me to do the exercise, I said I did not know how to solve it.
Then he made me walk to the front of the room, look at everyone and say that I did not know how to exercise because I was stupid. It hurt. It hurt alot. I felt humiliated, my voice trembled, I began to sweat and almost freaked out to say that. I went back to my chair after saying those things, and I shivered so much that I felt that people could hear the sound of the chair shaking on the floor with me.
I do not want to go there anymore. I do not want to see him anymore. I do not want to exist anymore. I think if I go, I'll do something bad with myself again.