I feel uncomfortable in my own skin

[SaFa61947]

I'm so tired of everything. I feel guilty now for the most ridiculous things. I feel bad for the street dogs, lately I've been worrying about a dude he's unemployed and he's not even my friend. I have so much worries, I have so much anxiety, I can't sleep at night imagining scenarios that make no sense when the sun goes up.

I'm tired of starting over, really tired. I'm tired of giving up my dreams and then find them in a paper ball in a corner years later. Of not believing in myself, of my dramatic family. Of having crush in women who do not know I exist. So lonely, so miserable, I'm a rag of a person.

No one knows me and I let no one approach me. A female neighbor tried to talk and asked for some meaningless stuff. I had a look as if I was going to murder her for disturbing my peace. It is true the saying some people are already dead, what's left is to bury them.

Here's to another weekend. Sober, so I can get crazy and lose my mind sooner.

I know what I'm supposed to do. Eat well, drink water, sleep. Only I can't sleep. I have a pet but it's not enough. My heart is bleeding nothing makes it stop.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this.

I feel bad for the street dogs, lately I've been worrying about a dude he's unemployed and he's not even my friend. I have so much worries, I have so much anxiety, I can't sleep at night imagining scenarios that make no sense when the sun goes up.

I can relate to this. There have been times when I've gotten overwhelmed by thinking about the suffering in the world. I gave up on SF once, just because there were so many people who wanted to die, and it didn't seem like there was much I could do about it. One day it just clicked with me that the suffering was still going to be there whether I knew about it or not, whether I chose to do something about it or not, so it was better to accept that it was there and make it slightly less through my effort than to try to hide my eyes from it.

Do you think you'd ever be able to accept that there's suffering in the world? It doesn't mean you have to give up on having compassion.