so much it's unbelievable. I feel so inferior, so inadequate, so ugly. I don't even want to leave the house to not be around people, I don't want to be seen, I don't want people to see the ugly, pathetic, piece of shit that I am. I should just kill myself already to not have to deal with the world and with people, to not have to be humiliated, rejected, teased, scorned, and laughed at.