I have anger issues.

[worthless_loser]

I have anger issues.
I want to stop feeling this way but I don't know what the problem is.
I don't know if I'm a narcissist, have a victim complex, just an asshole, or something else.

I went on Facebook today looking for a recipe my parents wanted my aunt to send them.
When looking for it, I saw many people I went to school with, and I started to get angry.

When I see those people, I get angry.
I don't even go to their profiles, I just glance at their pictures in the recommended friends box.
I just imagine screaming in their faces in front of everyone about how angry I am.
Then people start fighting me, but I imagine I have superpowers so I can fight them off.
I know this sounds really stupid, but that's the best way I can describe it.

I can't think of anything that was done to me to elicit so much anger.
I was bullied in school, but mostly verbally and practical jokes.

I think I'm bitter because they are more mature than me and I'm still childish.
They've changed since then and have more important things going on in their lives.
I haven't grown as a person at all since high school, maybe even before that.
I'm just mooching off my parents and trying to figure out how the basics of being an adult.
I still don't know how I'm going to make the world a better place, let alone be self-reliant.
Some of them have kids, partners, and careers by now.
I'm behind them, and I'll never catch up.

I think I'm angry at them because I expected things to go a certain way and they didn't.
I wanted people to initiate a conversation with me and help me with my problems.
I didn't want to ask them because they (teachers, and classmates) weren't the kind of people I thought I could talk about my problems with.
I also didn't really know how to ask for help, or what my problems were.

I now know that that is an unrealistic expectation and that's not how the real world works.
I have to talk to people if I want them to talk to me.

When I get really angry, I start whisper-yelling to myself, imagining what I'd say to the person I'm angry at.
And sometimes, I want to hit or break something when I get angry at a person, or if I hurt myself (like bumping my head under a doorway or something).
I use to meditate, and the desire to break things wasn't as strong, but I stopped a while ago.
I don't really know why.

I think I put everything in here.
I'd like some positive feedback, please.
If you have any advice or empathy, I'd appreciate it.
Sorry for such a long post.

 

[KM76710]

I have similar as you on many levels. I feel less anger than disappointment in how things developed in my life. I admit to being emotionally stunted and never developed. I react more intellectually than anything else because I simply have flat feelings, flattened affectivity and have never connected so I understand the bit about seeing or hearing about others from my past, ended up with families while I remain separated, partly by choice, from the rest of the world and society I exist in. There is really no bond there between us. Career wise, nothing impressive or spectacular, but not horrible. There were times in the past when it looked and seemed like I would do well if not very well but things just went to shit. I am doing OK currently but if the past is any indication I would not be surprised if everything hit a brick wall and went haywire with me wondering what happened and how will things go in the future for me.

 

[Bergerac]

I too sometimes feel like this and am your age. I find it stems from a lack of control, confusion and an ability/lack of confidence to take the necessary steps to further myself - so I hit out, verbally, in frustration as a way to internally combat this and somehow make myself feel better. Never works though, as I'm sure you find. The only thing that would work if I could set out definitively in my mind exactly what I want (no doubt will take a certain amount of searching for) and find the confidence and drive to go for it. Without that, being stuck in the same environment, this anger is bound to keep erupting, because it's just a vicious cycle. You need room to naturally feel positive emotions, from accomplishments, naturally, rather than some sort of thwarted desires.

I hope at some point, you find the strength to do the same. Wishing you well.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this

I use to meditate, and the desire to break things wasn't as strong, but I stopped a while ago.
I don't really know why

It may take some effort, but resuming your meditation practice would probably help a lot.

I think there are also some meditations that are specifically for releasing anger.

When you become aware that you are having angry thoughts, you could remind yourself that these things are in the past, and that you don't have to be angry now if you don't want to be. Also, wishing good things for yourself, or just for the world, rather than bad things on your enemies, may help you.

The links in my signature have some general information about treatment methods, and there may be something helpful there for you.

A therapist might be able to help you with anger management techniques, or there may be a book about it

 

[Butterfly]

Have you ever heard of mindfulness? I think that may help for anger in the here and now. I think you should maybe pursue anger management to get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do.