• Xenforo forums over the past few months have been seeing spam posts from existing user accounts. Bots hitting forums using lists of emails/passwords leaked elsewhere. We strongly recommend that all users change their password ASAP.

I need a friend

Status
Not open for further replies.
Prussia

Prussia

SF Supporter
#1
#1
My depression and anxiety have been tag-teaming a lot lately and I thought I was finally making progress, but here I am at 3am, thinking of new ways to kill myself and unable to stop crying or sleep.

I really, really need a close friend to help me. I've tried over the last few months to reach out to people around me and have learned that my "friends" dont give a damn about me. I just want someone who knows something about my life to sit and talk with me. Apparently that's too much to ask.
And now I'm closer than ever to ending my life, and know I should reach out to someone around me, but cant find anyone....

How do I find someone who cares? I cant exactly post "hey, I'm trying not to commit suicide, can someone chat?" On FB.

(And no, I dont want to pay a therapist to fake it right now. I'm just tired of lying to myself about my life meaning anything to the people around me.)
 
dtc

dtc

Fraud
#2
#2
I think at your age, things like this may be more than a lot of friends can handle purely based on not having the life experience that someone a bit older has had the chance to obtain. Obviously there are plenty of exceptions, the number of parents mentioned here that are no help at all will tell you that, but maybe reach out to an older work college, old coach, someone you’ve had a connection with somewhere along the line. Is there anyone like that in your life?
 
Prussia

Prussia

SF Supporter
#3
#3
dtc said:
I think at your age, things like this may be more than a lot of friends can handle purely based on not having the life experience that someone a bit older has had the chance to obtain. Obviously there are plenty of exceptions, the number of parents mentioned here that are no help at all will tell you that, but maybe reach out to an older work college, old coach, someone you’ve had a connection with somewhere along the line. Is there anyone like that in your life?
Click to expand...
I have an older sister. Like, 10 years older. But she is a very sensitive soul and gets hurt even easier than I do. She doesnt know that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for so long and I'm worried about how that knowledge will change how she views me. I want to be her supportive sister, not a broken charity case.
 
dtc

dtc

Fraud
#4
#4
I understand how you feel, but can you imagine how she’d feel if you did something drastic and you hadn’t reached out to her?

You don’t need to just dump everything on her in one hit, but maybe now’s the time to just let her know that you’re not travelling all that well and see how she reacts. If she pulls back and doesn’t what to talk about it, then you know she’s not the right person to open up to, but she may surprise you. Some people who seem to get hurt easily have a strength and resilience that isn’t initially obvious, I say let her in a bit and see how it goes, it would be great if you could both be there for each other.

Also, you’re no one’s broken charity case, you’ve been through stuff that would have ended a weaker person, you just need a little nudge in the right direction and everyone deserves to get that help when they need it, you included.
 
Prussia

Prussia

SF Supporter
#5
#5
Thank you. I really appreciate the help. But I'll admit I'm unsure how to start that conversation without jumping into the middle. I'm bad at that. Any suggestions?
 
dtc

dtc

Fraud
#6
#6
The only way I've ever been able to do it is write it out, from the start, and get down on paper everything I want to say. First draft is always bat s#*! crazy, so I'll go through and try to take out or change anything that's just emotional for being emotional sake. Try to make it as factual and boring as possible. Normally I do that 3 or 4 times until I’ve got what I think is acceptable, and then I just read over it a few times, and then ask the person if they’re ok to have a chat, and try to go slowly through it.

Ultimately I always miss out big chunks, and some of the emotionally things get back in, but in general it’s served me well, however I do have anxiety issues so maybe it’s more that that this helps than the actual issue I’m wanting to talk about!
 
Prussia

Prussia

SF Supporter
#7
#7
Thanks @dtc that sounds like something that is both mentally time consuming and productive which is perfect for me. Plus, getting it out on paper will hopefully get a lot of it out of my system.
You've been a huge help. Thank you again.
 
dtc

dtc

Fraud
#8
#8
Yes you're right, I hadn't even though of that, the time it takes to get it out also takes a lot of the emotion out of it which helps in making it manageable.

Glad our chat has been of some help.

Take care and you know where we are if you need to bounce anything of someone, we’re all in this together just trying to muddle our way through and support each other, you’re part of the family now!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$20.00
Goal
$255.00
Donate View
Top