Someone I was dating who claimed to love me, although we were not exclusive, I needed time to heal from the last 10 year debacle before I jumped into another relationship... Well, he brought someone I knew and liked and I felt something between them. It was strong enough for me to notice... I asked and he told me I was right... and it fucking hurts... Im loosing it from his reactions.."It was just sex, she even asked if it was okay..." Now I cant get it out of my head. Ive never been like this before and its scaring me... It makes me feel like Im not good enough and there os always some cuter girl.. When he blamed it on lust it made me more sick..as if he's a victim of it so what does that say about me?? Im less than? He needed that, she incites it aoo much? Its a downward spiral... and he uses my reaction to be exclusive with him..and I my upset keeps elevating... Everything and I mean everything sounds like an excuse... and now I cannot concentrate...I cannot eat... He got jealous someone was talking with me at a friends house...and was being obnoxious...I guess he said he was flirting with me and my other friends said the same thing..but I ask about this a few days later and he says yes.. He said he wouldnt care, he'd like whatever person I did... So I tell him I get to have a free card and he gets to guess...that its going to happen..and since it hurts me he cant do the same but since it wouldnt hurt him that I do... He says no! If he cant I cant... but he already has and I tell him thats a double standard... and he drags his feet telling me over and over he loves me and that it was not worth it... It must have been and she must have been worth it not to tell me when he tells me the other experiences that sucked for him... Im getting out of control..I cant seem to think about anything else... Is it okay what he did since I said we wherent exclusive? I was waiting to see?? I dated one other friend soo outside of this circle that he keeps bringing that up... Im hurt he brought it around me to see and how he reported other things as being lame in comparison to me... Ive lost my shit on him...Im hurt as hell..I have so much else to do but am losing it... Part of me wants revenge.... I want original words from him instead of regurgitating my own. Wtf should I do..??? Ive never wanted revenge before.. and I know it wont help.. I wish this was fixable...then I could rest... and if I give in do I say its right? How can I ever rest again? Am I wrong??? Its like my ex getting ahold of me he still is in love with me... Texting me.... Then finding out theough a third party hes been dating someone else.. WTF is wrong with this picture??? WTF do I do...???!! Im spiraling down... Help me..