thank you guys very much for ever hearing me out. And I did put some thoughts very seriously on what you discussed. They are certainly the necessary perspective for what I am about to do. In a way, it made me seeing things through, and with more conviction. I am indeed running out of options. I have indeed tried. Romance, familial love. For what and when the sun may rise...perhaps I simply am at the limit to wait around to find out. The reasons I were given are not compelling enough for the promise of oblivion. I simply don't care if the way ahead is a kind of religious eternal torment, or merciful cease to exist like in a dreamless sleep. I will try to doubt, still, every day when I lift my eyes to see the waking world, but for now, I simply don't have enough of a doubt to stop.
-
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.
I'm here partly to say goodbye, and partly having doubt
- Thread starter void_outlook
- Start date
You're welcome! 
In case you're interested, the link below has some information about conventional, alternative, and self-treatment methods
https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...iety-insomnia-pain-other-suicide-help.166835/
I hope you'll leave no stone unturned before you make such a big decision.
Hoping for things to work out for you somehow.
In case you're interested, the link below has some information about conventional, alternative, and self-treatment methods
https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...iety-insomnia-pain-other-suicide-help.166835/
I hope you'll leave no stone unturned before you make such a big decision.
Hoping for things to work out for you somehow.
I do really have doubt when the time is so close. I will hold it off, seeing people I haven't seen for a while. Some sort of guilt just flared up at the last moment. Why, I wonder? They are basically assholes for my whole life. Nevertheless, I will meet them, it would be just a normal meeting, I will need more evidence, possibly a reason to live while I am at it. Still, I have already seen everything as the soon-to-be anyway, I don't care about social consequences anymore, I just do, like I feel like I can be an ass one last time.
while this sounds like some sort of condescending edgy teen saying...beauty is one thing, reality is another, at least for me, I look at the beauty as a distraction from the real elephant in the room that made me want to escape from its weight. Nevertheless, I am at the absolute silly point of doing test, the kind that I gather evident of why I should just go or should I stay.
I wish I could have happiness from the beauty, the scenery, humanity and craft, so far I have none, and it was sure taking its time to meet me.
I wish I could have happiness from the beauty, the scenery, humanity and craft, so far I have none, and it was sure taking its time to meet me.
I think it's so hypocritical of me to be there denying helpful words given to me. Maybe despite denying it myself, deep down, I just want to justify all of my outlook to stroke the pathetic ego of mine. I know you guys want to help. I could see it in your comments, trying to deal with this suicidal insufferable pompous and edgy child in the adult body. I am just be blunt about my apology, I really mean it. I have hurt and frustrated countless people in my life, I'm really sorry for all of your effort.
One day I will simply be forgotten, go silent and be on the way of whatever else. Maybe I will really commit to it, maybe I'm not. Either way, I got a lot of new perspective to think about, it's no longer just a conviction, but nevertheless, this is a goodbye, I'm not sure if it would be final, I will still read comments, by the way, just for dramatic effect, I won't post anything more. See you guys around, and I wish for whoever reading this the best. Sincerely, Void.
One day I will simply be forgotten, go silent and be on the way of whatever else. Maybe I will really commit to it, maybe I'm not. Either way, I got a lot of new perspective to think about, it's no longer just a conviction, but nevertheless, this is a goodbye, I'm not sure if it would be final, I will still read comments, by the way, just for dramatic effect, I won't post anything more. See you guys around, and I wish for whoever reading this the best. Sincerely, Void.