That's how it feels. When I'm not I get all panicky and everything hits me like a ton of bricks emotionaly and I just want the numbness back. But then when I am numb to everything I want my feelings back, how ironic. The only time it's ben okay was when I first went on meds and they started to kick in and I was all happy but now it's died down I realise it was just a plastic sort of happy that didn't mean anything. As mean as this will sound I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.