It started a few weeks ago. I noticed depression start to reel its ugly head. Day by day and week by week its been getting worse. The past few days have particularly rough. Ive thinking about suicide more frequently. I actually wrote little notes about it and placed them around my work. People found them and turned them in. I finally told someone at work about the feelings ive been having but theres not much they can do for. I feel like theres a different voice inside my head telling me to do these things. Telling me to end it. Telling me how. I dont know how much strength and will i have left in me anymore. I feel like im beyond help. I feel like im done.
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depression often lies to you and tells you thinks like there's no hope and suicide is the only way out, but it's a lie. if things are this bad see a therapist maybe some meds, also talk to family/friends that you can trust as well as this site. SF is full of wonderful people that care and don't judge. you can also call a crises line if things get bad. please take care of yourself and stay safe.
The only things i can think of is the holidays and some increased stressed. Holidays are always rough for me and i dont do well with stress at all.
I told my doctor at the last visit that my depression and anxiety were getting worse and he just kinda brushed it off like it was nothing. By bf changes the subject back to him every time i try to tell him how ive been feeling.
I know depression lies and maybe thats the voice in my head but sometimes it feels like something more and i start getting really paranoid. I dont know want to end up in the hospital again. Im trying to avoid that like the plague.
I told my doctor at the last visit that my depression and anxiety were getting worse and he just kinda brushed it off like it was nothing. By bf changes the subject back to him every time i try to tell him how ive been feeling.
I know depression lies and maybe thats the voice in my head but sometimes it feels like something more and i start getting really paranoid. I dont know want to end up in the hospital again. Im trying to avoid that like the plague.
I am sorry your bf is changing the subject back to him but if you are feeling truely suicidal then you need to have a sit down with him and really tell him how you are feeling and if that does not work try to talk to others in your family or us here I am all ears and been through so much that I am more than willing to listen and try my best to help you. 
I wonder if there could also be a seasonal change element. I feel like seasonal change has an effect on me.
Any competent doctor should take depression and anxiety seriously. If your doctor brushed off what you told him, that's a major failure on his part.
Do you think it would help to see a different doctor, or to see a psychiatrist.
Are you getting any treatments for depression or anxiety that are helping at all?
Any competent doctor should take depression and anxiety seriously. If your doctor brushed off what you told him, that's a major failure on his part.
Do you think it would help to see a different doctor, or to see a psychiatrist.
Are you getting any treatments for depression or anxiety that are helping at all?
My doctor is a psychiatrist. The place i go to wont let you switch doctors. You have to go somewhere else if you want to see a different psych. The wait list at these other places is about a year long.
At this point, no nothing is helping and it just seems to be getting worse day by day. I feel like im just going through the motions. Trying to do whats expected of me. Im just trying to make through each second, minute, day. I wake up for work and within 20 minutes my mind is thinking about suicide. Wondering. Mostly wondering about what pill would work best. What method might work best. I wake up exhausted from the nightmares and exhausted from trying. Im so so tired. Tired of trying to be better and tired of trying to be happy.
It feels like things are ok for a little while and then bam! Out of nowhere depression sinks its dirty claws into me. The more it happens the quicker it takes hold and the more exhausted i become.
At this point, no nothing is helping and it just seems to be getting worse day by day. I feel like im just going through the motions. Trying to do whats expected of me. Im just trying to make through each second, minute, day. I wake up for work and within 20 minutes my mind is thinking about suicide. Wondering. Mostly wondering about what pill would work best. What method might work best. I wake up exhausted from the nightmares and exhausted from trying. Im so so tired. Tired of trying to be better and tired of trying to be happy.
It feels like things are ok for a little while and then bam! Out of nowhere depression sinks its dirty claws into me. The more it happens the quicker it takes hold and the more exhausted i become.
It's terrible that the system works like that. I can be really hard to see a psychiatrist, so that may be part of it.
I've heard that mirtazipine is good for treating nightmares as well as depression.
I think MD's are allowed to prescribe anti-depressants. Generally, I'd say psychiatrists are probably better at prescribing anti-depressants, but seeing a doctor that actually responds to what you have to say and doesn't just brush things off might be better than a psychiatrist that's the opposite.
That's weird and distressing that the depression just comes up suddenly like that.
Hugs Jena
I've heard that mirtazipine is good for treating nightmares as well as depression.
I think MD's are allowed to prescribe anti-depressants. Generally, I'd say psychiatrists are probably better at prescribing anti-depressants, but seeing a doctor that actually responds to what you have to say and doesn't just brush things off might be better than a psychiatrist that's the opposite.
That's weird and distressing that the depression just comes up suddenly like that.
Hugs Jena
Hi Jena - I believe your pain is real and I think you did the right thing by talking about it on this forum. There are so many loving and kind people in this world, so please do not feel confined to share your heart with just a doctor. They will look at you like a patient, whereas, someone like a Christian counselor or therapist will look at you like a beautiful individual with feelings, dreams, goals, and a search for purpose. They will not be able to offer you medicine, but they will offer you their listening heart.
You will feel better connecting with someone who will listen to you. You could start by calling around to some Bible believing churches in your area and ask if they have someone on their staff who is equipped to address people in your kind of situation, and perhaps they can offer wise counsel and better help you understand yourself.
Talking with someone you trust is self therapy and will pull you out of feeling isolated and defeated. We all need a lifeline every now and then, so please let others help you. There are so many things in my life I could not do in my own strength and needed to lean heavily on someone to help me.
In the meantime, make a checklist of things you can be doing to help yourself; such as, eating foods rich in niacin and magnesium, getting adequate exercise every day, eliminating all alcohol, sugar, chemicals, synthetic skin care products, processed foods, junk foods, and caffeine. Your body will have more mental fighting power when you are able to implement a proper diet of just fresh foods and exercise. There are scientific reasons how they are all connected to depression. If you would like additional information about how the mind, body, soul, and spirit of a person all work in unison, I would be happy to send you some.
Do not quit. Answers are out there - it's just a matter of connecting to the right people for help. You were created for a reason, and once you are able to see your own value, you can think differently about yourself and love you for who you are.
You will feel better connecting with someone who will listen to you. You could start by calling around to some Bible believing churches in your area and ask if they have someone on their staff who is equipped to address people in your kind of situation, and perhaps they can offer wise counsel and better help you understand yourself.
Talking with someone you trust is self therapy and will pull you out of feeling isolated and defeated. We all need a lifeline every now and then, so please let others help you. There are so many things in my life I could not do in my own strength and needed to lean heavily on someone to help me.
In the meantime, make a checklist of things you can be doing to help yourself; such as, eating foods rich in niacin and magnesium, getting adequate exercise every day, eliminating all alcohol, sugar, chemicals, synthetic skin care products, processed foods, junk foods, and caffeine. Your body will have more mental fighting power when you are able to implement a proper diet of just fresh foods and exercise. There are scientific reasons how they are all connected to depression. If you would like additional information about how the mind, body, soul, and spirit of a person all work in unison, I would be happy to send you some.
Do not quit. Answers are out there - it's just a matter of connecting to the right people for help. You were created for a reason, and once you are able to see your own value, you can think differently about yourself and love you for who you are.
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