I feel better than usual, but maybe I'm right now just not thinking about how pathetic I am. Can't stay too long as I gotta do my schoolwork. I dunno why I'm here, keep saying that I've been here for 1.5+ years and haven't accomplished anything, pathetic of course right?
I feel that life itself can be great, but just not mine. I feel that none of you should absolutely not commit suicide but except for me. I dunno what to really say, should I even try to reach out for help to cure my depression and live normally or is it all for no use? I know of course the answer you'll give me will be hell yes.
I just feel depressed and down at how much of a loser I am, and I know many of you feel the exact same way, but I am a bigger loser than you, trust me.
I have never suffered things like emotional/sexual/physical abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc. Had a happy childhood. I just haven't been raised right I think, I am lacking in so many things that everyone else my age has, I am very empty and boring and pathetic but my parents think I am very normal and will grow up to be a great person. Huh, at least they have confidence in me no?
I'm sure everyone things I am crazy for thinking about suicide, but if only there was a way you could read my mind exactly or I could just freaking not be embarassed and be uninhibited and say exactly what bothers me.
I want to be normal and happy. I am very afraid of death and I don't think I really want to die, I of course have hesitation, I have no plans, nothing like that. I just feel that I have to eventually because I am so screwed up and will never live a normal life.
I suppose instead of commiting suicide, I should instead just try to go out and improve myself and try to be normal like everyone else instead of just ending my whole life right now?
People will say I am only 19, turning 20 soon and have so much ahead of me. I would agree with that except that for my whole life, I have not lived a "normal" life and so feel that I am screwed up for the rest of my life, like those "feral humans" you know? Maybe thats a bit too dramatic and extreme but thats sorta the picture with me I think.
Damn, my mom is bitching at me to work, gotta go for now.
Thank you very much for reading this and for replying. :smile:
I feel that life itself can be great, but just not mine. I feel that none of you should absolutely not commit suicide but except for me. I dunno what to really say, should I even try to reach out for help to cure my depression and live normally or is it all for no use? I know of course the answer you'll give me will be hell yes.
I just feel depressed and down at how much of a loser I am, and I know many of you feel the exact same way, but I am a bigger loser than you, trust me.
I have never suffered things like emotional/sexual/physical abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc. Had a happy childhood. I just haven't been raised right I think, I am lacking in so many things that everyone else my age has, I am very empty and boring and pathetic but my parents think I am very normal and will grow up to be a great person. Huh, at least they have confidence in me no?
I'm sure everyone things I am crazy for thinking about suicide, but if only there was a way you could read my mind exactly or I could just freaking not be embarassed and be uninhibited and say exactly what bothers me.
I want to be normal and happy. I am very afraid of death and I don't think I really want to die, I of course have hesitation, I have no plans, nothing like that. I just feel that I have to eventually because I am so screwed up and will never live a normal life.
I suppose instead of commiting suicide, I should instead just try to go out and improve myself and try to be normal like everyone else instead of just ending my whole life right now?
People will say I am only 19, turning 20 soon and have so much ahead of me. I would agree with that except that for my whole life, I have not lived a "normal" life and so feel that I am screwed up for the rest of my life, like those "feral humans" you know? Maybe thats a bit too dramatic and extreme but thats sorta the picture with me I think.
Damn, my mom is bitching at me to work, gotta go for now.
Thank you very much for reading this and for replying. :smile: