It's over

[kikin]

I can't do this anymore. I have no reason to stay alive anymore. I don't want to live in this world, I am scared. My future is destined for despair, and it's not just my brain thinking it, or a feeling. It is, and forever will. I'm gonna lose all my friends, family, everyone around me. I can't take this life anymore. Why should I want to live in a world where my privacy isn't seen as a right? I'm done. Done
I'll forever live in regret, sorrow, and despair. My stupid actions as a teen ruined my life
I'll do it soon. No one can, or will stop me

 

[1Lefty]

I just wanted to say that I read your post. I'm sorry that you're in such pain.
I hope you'll stick around, we care about you

peace

 

[seabird]

I'm sorry @kikin

I wish you'd stay but I understand wanting to have some control. Maybe it's not the end even though changes happening are scary.

 

[another world]

You've mentioned things like autism/aspergers and OCD in other posts. Are they a big issue for you at the moment?

 

[may71]

Sending hugs if you would like hugs

 

[kikin]

You've mentioned things like autism/aspergers and OCD in other posts. Are they a big issue for you at the moment?

I feel like it is sometimes. I feel so burnt out from everything, and I can never explain how I feel, not even to myself. I would like to explain everything, but I really just can't

 

[MyGirlyGirl]

I'm extremely suisidal these days too. The only thing stops me is that I don't know how to do it, so I won't survive. I'm afraid of a botched suiside attempt more than death.

 

[another world]

I feel like it is sometimes. I feel so burnt out from everything, and I can never explain how I feel, not even to myself. I would like to explain everything, but I really just can't

Talking about feelings can certainly be a problem for many neurodiverse people.

I was listening to a podcast the other day with Daniel Jones, who has autism, ADHD... maybe dyscalculia? He also suffered from OCD, but I don't think he suffers much from it anymore, I've heard of that happening. Anyway he said the OCD was the worst thing he's had.

Apparently there are benefits to getting a diagnosis or two, if you haven't already. Not so much in my case as I have something of a phobia of doing things like that, due to past experiences. I did get a diagnosis that begins with "dys", but I don't find it particularly helpful in my case and I have a bad memory or two associated with the whole thing (not getting diagnosed, but something that happened not too long afterwards). I'm not really selling the diagnosis stuff, am I? lol

I hope you feel a bit better soon anyway.

 

[Dude111]

I can't do this anymore. I have no reason to stay alive anymore. I don't want to live in this world, I am scared

I hear ya.I know how you feel... The world is a piece of shit now.. I wasnt born in this hell hole.. When I was born the world was a beautiful place still...

 

[kikin]

I hear ya.I know how you feel... The world is a piece of shit now.. I wasnt born in this hell hole.. When I was born the world was a beautiful place still...

In my opinion; The world isn't a piece of shit now, big brother just stopped caring to hide it