It's the darkest it's ever been
- Thread starter Catch_22
- Start date
HI Catch_22, i haven’t seen this post until just now i think. i am impressed with the similarities i see and then i also remark at differences such as that my father was likely the narcissist but presented his abuse as love and care. i wonder how that might come across to you. i think an upbringing can be as easily a confusing thing as being a nurturing thing. i’m wondering if nurture and abuse simultaneously (or other upbringing things) brings on the need for the child to respond in multiplicity. does the resonate at all? just my thoughts at the moment. but very much here to wish you well and hopeing for further conversation with you.
Yes, it does resonate. Everyone that abused me, from church people to my parents portrayed their abuse as love and care, tough love ..while control was deemed "strict"..lots of wordplay, doublespeak. Of all the multiples I have met, not one has been refused an experience with their caregivers like this. Though I know some multiples can split because of early medical traumas, usually they don't seem to split to the degree of multiplicity without a narcisstic guardian..(from the fifty or so multiples I have interacted with or read about) but I'm sure I could be wrong.. but I would say it's a significant part of why this happens to us, yes, from my perspective. In TBMC (manufactured multiplicity) we are literally split intentionally by abusers as parts in response and effect to harsh and kind treatment. Harsh treatment causes one alter and kindness another..so that we are constantly kept in these states and alters with the abuser so they can control us. For us, all of our abusers are for sure npd and personality disordered, whereas with regular organic multiplicity I cannot say for sure that is the case. I see that as a severe degree of the very abuse you are describing.
The reality of nurturing getting flipped and people who abuse making it look like they are nurturing when they really are destroying deceptively; I do think this is a feature seen in traumagenic multiples. Interested in more of your thoughts for sure.
The reality of nurturing getting flipped and people who abuse making it look like they are nurturing when they really are destroying deceptively; I do think this is a feature seen in traumagenic multiples. Interested in more of your thoughts for sure.
I am still in a a relationship with a narcissist who is responsible for the outcome of my life and safety. All the previous narcs/socios.pushed away decent people and when my life got sabotaged I had no humans anymore. A part did an inventory of my relationships (what was left of them) when they began learning about narc abuse and personality disorders several years ago now, trying to prove I came from a cult. We learned all of them were predatorial and was discarded by most once I got a clue and let go or kicked the rest all out of my life. It's a long ordeal to figure this out about one person, much less everyone you know. In the end I had one human left, better than the ones who harmed me but just as bad as them in many ways. So no, I have not escaped all of them and can't. It's good and bad news, as yes, most of the toxic people are not here now, but their influence is still felt and it left me isolated in danger and with no way to survive. Thank you for reading.
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People say how the system is broken and they want change. But when I say I know how it's broken and why, and how it can be changed, I have a story that people should know.. I'm shutdown and ignored. It's been widespread with only people with no power randomly listening. The victims of the system are being ignored in a society claiming this is the major issue bothering them.
I want to die.
I want to die.
While I can't know what you are going through, as an outsider I can agree wholeheartedly on how the marginalized often know best on how to enact change, but as you are marginalized, the power to do so is lost.
I'm a big fan of social media and use it a lot for socializing, but I also use it to monitor different political thoughts, ideologies, opinions, etc. I'm sort of a lurker but I pick up a lot of stuff. What I see are a lot of people claiming to "speak up" for the little guy, but without actually ever asking the little guy if what they are suggesting is best.
For example, I saw a young women online... she seemed like a lovely person. Idealistic, and hopeful. But she made this horrendous statement about how she HAS to be the one to advocate for the poor because the poor are too busy to be political.
She got raked.
Being poor actually MAKES you political. So, anyway, it's those kinds of assumptions made by people that I think does more damage than create good, even if people mean well.
So, that was longwinded. Just wanted to say that we, as a society, have a long way to go before we fully give the proper power to the people who can actually enact change, as opposed to spouting off about it online. And I'm sorry.
I'm a big fan of social media and use it a lot for socializing, but I also use it to monitor different political thoughts, ideologies, opinions, etc. I'm sort of a lurker but I pick up a lot of stuff. What I see are a lot of people claiming to "speak up" for the little guy, but without actually ever asking the little guy if what they are suggesting is best.
For example, I saw a young women online... she seemed like a lovely person. Idealistic, and hopeful. But she made this horrendous statement about how she HAS to be the one to advocate for the poor because the poor are too busy to be political.
She got raked.
Being poor actually MAKES you political. So, anyway, it's those kinds of assumptions made by people that I think does more damage than create good, even if people mean well.
So, that was longwinded. Just wanted to say that we, as a society, have a long way to go before we fully give the proper power to the people who can actually enact change, as opposed to spouting off about it online. And I'm sorry.
I love this. Yes it's the people saying to ignore victims and oppressed people that should be ignored..well put. I believe everyone has power to make ripples of change, even the powerless. I think so much of society has bought into the narcisstic narrative of their being no possibilities..things being to overwhelming, the world won't change, blah blah or that they think change is already underway and going well enough..when it isn't. It's so lazy. It's so empty. I thought life was worth more than this. I believe humans have more to give than they ever feel like challenging themselves to give. And it seems only tragedy and bloodshed spur most people to advocate for change or embody it. People like me know waiting for bloodshed is hopeless and wreckless and stupid. Especially when people exist who can smell the bloodshed coming and have ways to thwart it. I'm rambling in response. 😓
