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Ive decided that one day I will die by suicide.

Soda-Voxel

Well-Known Member
#1
I am no longer planning for my future. I am hoping, sure, but I'm not expecting or planning for any of it.

Not today, or next week, or whatever. But one day, I will. It's inevitable. This pain is too great for me to carry on any more.

There's so many fucking feelings that I just can't take anymore. Self hatred beyond belief, I cannot stand myself. To make matters worse, I've fallen in love with my best friend and it's ripping me apart. The self hatred is way way worse, but this isnt fucking helping.

I am so so tired. Every little thing sends me into a spiral. This is the beginning of the end. I dont desire to live anymore
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#3
I am no longer planning for my future. I am hoping, sure, but I'm not expecting or planning for any of it.

Not today, or next week, or whatever. But one day, I will. It's inevitable. This pain is too great for me to carry on any more.

There's so many fucking feelings that I just can't take anymore. Self hatred beyond belief, I cannot stand myself. To make matters worse, I've fallen in love with my best friend and it's ripping me apart. The self hatred is way way worse, but this isnt fucking helping.

I am so so tired. Every little thing sends me into a spiral. This is the beginning of the end. I dont desire to live anymore
I can only hope for the day you leave will be by infinity so that you can have all the time you need to try therapies and counselings, to explore the world, to simply live as happy as possible.

Is it because you are afraid of losing one of the best friendships you've ever had with someone or a significant other, or both? Take the time, advice and support you need before confessing. Regardless of the outcome, your best friend will play an important role to help you get through these moments of self-hatred and suicidal feelings.

For now, you are tired. Have a good rest.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#4
Everyone is gone. No one left. No one wants to start new friendships. What is the point of living. No hobbies that can afford, no value at work, nothing.
 

Lady Wolfshead

"Peace comes from within" - The Buddha
#5
Everyone is gone. No one left. No one wants to start new friendships. What is the point of living. No hobbies that can afford, no value at work, nothing.
There are many hobbies and passions that are affordable. Writing, drawing, activism, volunteering, knitting, crocheting, carving.... the list is endless. I'm not saying life doesn't suck, but one thing that really sustains me is writing. There are online writers groups and real-life ones too. Several friends I met through writing groups and classes, and also classes in art and crafts.
 

plough

Active Member
#7
I am just surviving, I need a push, something to send me over the edge.
peace in my head is what I am looking for. I can’t find it. I hate this/my existence.
Please god or whoever give me tyrbbrwveru and strength to do right
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#9
I feel the same. Life is not worth living anymore. I can’t stop obsessing about wanting to die. I’ve tried crisis lines and talking to my psychiatrist but nothing is helping.
 

The Tigress ♡

✮ You are worth it ✮
Staff Alumni
#10
I am no longer planning for my future. I am hoping, sure, but I'm not expecting or planning for any of it.

Not today, or next week, or whatever. But one day, I will. It's inevitable. This pain is too great for me to carry on any more.

There's so many fucking feelings that I just can't take anymore. Self hatred beyond belief, I cannot stand myself. To make matters worse, I've fallen in love with my best friend and it's ripping me apart. The self hatred is way way worse, but this isnt fucking helping.

I am so so tired. Every little thing sends me into a spiral. This is the beginning of the end. I dont desire to live anymore
Sorry to hear @SodaVoxel *sadhug I hope you know that you matter and that you're worth it. Just hang in there. There has to be a way. Meanwhile, we are here for you. Always. *hug*hugStay safe and check in soon.

Light and hope.
 

The Tigress ♡

✮ You are worth it ✮
Staff Alumni
#13
I am just surviving, I need a push, something to send me over the edge.
peace in my head is what I am looking for. I can’t find it. I hate this/my existence.
Please god or whoever give me tyrbbrwveru and strength to do right
Hey @plough sorry to hear that you are struggling now *sadhugYou can find much support here. We are here for you. Never hesitate to ask for help whenever you need one. Take care now *hug*hug

Strength x
 

The Tigress ♡

✮ You are worth it ✮
Staff Alumni
#14
I feel the same. Life is not worth living anymore. I can’t stop obsessing about wanting to die. I’ve tried crisis lines and talking to my psychiatrist but nothing is helping.
Hey Sarah. Im glad you have found us. Keep talking to us. Just hang in there *hug*hug Stay safe now.

Light and hope.
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#15
Thanks. I feel like this might not be the right place for me. Talking is getting me nowhere. I am desperate for help but don’t know where to start. I can’t talk to anyone who understands. This is all too much right now. I want support but don’t know how to ask for it. Can anyone tell me what stopped them from going through with it. I’m just so lost and depressed, I don’t see another way.
 
#16
Thanks. I feel like this might not be the right place for me. Talking is getting me nowhere. I am desperate for help but don’t know where to start. I can’t talk to anyone who understands. This is all too much right now. I want support but don’t know how to ask for it. Can anyone tell me what stopped them from going through with it. I’m just so lost and depressed, I don’t see another way.
The last time I was this close to committing, it scared the heck out of me. I called a friend, he came and took me out for lunch. The kindness he showed me gave me the strength to not go through with it.
This time I'm not scared, just tired and sad. I've got nobody to call. I feel like I'm just a worthless burden on everyone around me. I've been battling SI since my early teens, and I'm 30 now. I just want to rest.
 

Sarah110

Well-Known Member
#17
The last time I was this close to committing, it scared the heck out of me. I called a friend, he came and took me out for lunch. The kindness he showed me gave me the strength to not go through with it.
This time I'm not scared, just tired and sad. I've got nobody to call. I feel like I'm just a worthless burden on everyone around me. I've been battling SI since my early teens, and I'm 30 now. I just want to rest.
Me too. I think about it every day, and have since I was a kid. This time it’s different. It’s overwhelming, and obsessive. It’s all I think about. I’m glad you had your friend. I have nobody who understands, and my doctors aren’t much help. I just want to rest too. I’ve had enough.
 
#18
Hi @Sarah110 and @SmilingDespair30

I’m pleased you have found the SF family. There are lots of people here who have been where you are now but they didn’t go through with it. Somehow they found the strength to keep fighting and many of them are pleased they made the decision to keep trying. I know it’s difficult but people here do understand and I hope that helps to give you the strength you need. SF has saved many lives in its time. Take care and stay safe. *hug Xx
 
#19
Me too. I think about it every day, and have since I was a kid. This time it’s different. It’s overwhelming, and obsessive. It’s all I think about. I’m glad you had your friend. I have nobody who understands, and my doctors aren’t much help. I just want to rest too. I’ve had enough.
Right now, the only things keeping me going are the little pleasures in life. Fanfiction. Good food. Steve, my puppy. Music.
 

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