Jim’s “...on hold...” Café November 5, 2020

[dandelion s]

This ain’t just hold the mayo
But maybe grab a donut and tea or coffee. Something to go along with what happens on the phone when they put you on hold...

THE Qs:
(pick one question to answer or two or three or more to your liking, or make up your own.
• who writes that “on hold” music?
• and who is/are the artists that play it?
• do you love that music?
• was recorded to make you hang up in disgust? ...or do they play your favorite tune?
• “we’re glad you called”. are they really glad?
• do they really value your call like they say / is your call really important to them?

OK, now hold the mayo, I wanna hold your hand, hold the pickles,
what do you hold dear? Just some more things to consider....
are you waiting with bated breath? ...
• Whats the longest you have ever been on hold?
• Have you ever been disconnected immediately at the moment they finally picked up after an excessively long hold?

Being on hold has been the status quo for me since last November. I don’t think a live person has ever picked up a phone call of mine immediately.

But this brings me to therapy, I seem to be forever on hold in that respect. My therapist struggles and is saving my life, but I need more help and trying to find that is just a forever wait. what I need is not available. are you having a better experience?

• Does it ever seem like a “no help available” situation? If so, what do you to smile and keep holding on. I do have my own course of action and it seems to keep me going even with a few smiles of my own. Happy to share mine. Hoping everyone can find a way...

and what do you hold dear? What is really important?

How about some smiles. Seems like a good day for a cup of hot beverage and something tasty and happy thoughts to HOLD on to....
🌞🌞🌞

 

[dandelion s]

now to begin tagging: @Human Ex Machinae @AliceinWonderlannd @Sunspots @Lane @Winslow @JMG @MisterBGone @Holding my breath @

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

Hey all, happy Thursday. Hope you're making it through your respective weeks ok, especially a week as stressful as this one is being.
Thanks for opening the cafe @extraterrestrialone.

• Whats the longest you have ever been on hold?

I think my record is an hour and a half.
Made all the worse by that stupid robot voice that chimes in every two minutes to tell you how much your call is valued and to keep holding. Keeps giving you false hope that you're finally about to talk to a real person.
I'd kind of prefer it if they just stuck to the music, so I know when I can safely zone out.

 

[dandelion s]

safely zone out.

😊🥴 i’ve fallen asleep and almost could not remember why i called.

 

[dandelion s]

@Champagne @Jayjay289 @StrangeRanger @Gonz @Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️ @pooky @Auri @PrincessPure

 

[dandelion s]

@Walker @Freya @JDot @Sassy the Wonderful Cat @arbitrarybarry @Lane @sinking_ship @Lara_C @1964dodge @foreverforgotten

 

[dandelion s]

@the.end.ish @Ash600 @dtc @Inanimate @shattered dreams @Livelife @KM76710 @HappyKitty @MosesY

 

[dandelion s]

@Inya @SillyOldBear @Legate Lanius @Somebody Else @bag_of_struggles @Blue Star @SummertimeSadness @kat319 @Sleeper71 @Lumos

 

[Sunspots]

Hey @extraterrestrialone, thanks for the tag

Our GP surgery have a really hideous song playing when you're on hold. I had to phone them on Monday and it was just generic beeping instead. "Finally! They've got rid of the song." I thought.
But sadly someone actually posted on our village FB page that they were confused by the beeping and one of the receptionists replied that there was a problem with the phones but the song would be restored by the next day. Grrrrr

Whats the longest you have ever been on hold?

Around three hours. I just put it on speaker phone and got on with the dusting.

what do you hold dear?

My kids, my friends and my pets

“we’re glad you called”. are they really glad?

No. They're probably sitting there listening to the ringing phone while they mutter "f*ck off" under their breath.

 

[dandelion s]

@Aurelia @Baywasp @Kiwi2016 @Nick @Road to Nowhere @emily91 @Crickets @memyselfand1 @KindaOtiose @may71

 

[dandelion s]

@Lux @neverfadeaway @Anne74 @Innocent Forever @Were all together

happy Thursday

hey glad you found the café!!!

 

[Winslow]

@extraterrestrialone
Besides the speaker-mode that the other poster mentioned, I also use the option they offer of letting me hang up so they can call me back in 20 minutes or so. Some places mention how many others are ahead of me in line so I make my decision based on how many ahead of me are waiting.
To answer your question of what is dear to me, I would say playing cribbage with somebody in person. Although I play online, but the online can not compare at all with in-person. Thankfully I have in-person three times a week.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

• who writes that “on hold” music?

• and who is/are the artists that play it?

• do you love that music?

• “we’re glad you called”. are they really glad?

 

[dandelion s]

@extraterrestrialone
Besides the speaker-mode that the other poster mentioned, I also use the option they offer of letting me hang up so they can call me back in 20 minutes or so. Some places mention how many others are ahead of me in line so I make my decision based on how many ahead of me are waiting.
To answer your question of what is dear to me, I would say playing cribbage with somebody in person. Although I play online, but the online can not compare at all with in-person. Thankfully I have in-person three times a week.

yeah Winslow, I’ve done the callback option. i’m glad some places offer that! one time they never called back but generally its great that some companies/organizations realize how important the callback option is. its great that you have that in person cribbage! i wish i could get someone to go on a walk in the park with me. at least i bumped into this guy yesterday...

 

[Ash600]

• who writes that “on hold” music?
• and who is/are the artists that play it?

Whoever wrote that music is a git, performed by the Git-Band Skiffle Quartet

do you love that music?

Absolutely not

was recorded to make you hang up in disgust? ...or do they play your favorite tune?
• “we’re glad you called”. are they really glad?
• do they really value your call like they say / is your call really important to them?

If it was made to make me hang up in disgust, then it's a tactical error. It merely raises my level of anger, the longer I'm forced to listen to , the higher the level until I reach the "mad as a lorry" anger level.

Glad that I called? How presumptious of them. If I'm having to call them, I can gaurantee it's not for social purposes.

Value my call? - I hate that patronising drivel, cut the crap, focus on dealing with the issue.

• Whats the longest you have ever been on hold?
• Have you ever been disconnected immediately at the moment they finally picked up after an excessively long hold?

The longest was about 50 minutes, and yes I have been disconnected immediately at the point of finally being picked up by a call handler. This was during a series of calls trying to chase up a missing order I had placed. To say the call operative was useless is an understatement. They seemed too pre-oocupied with asking if it was ok to call me by my first name rathet than resolving the issue at hand.
At the end of each fruitless phone call (of which there were many) the caller asked "Ash, is there anything else I can help you with?" I finally snapped and replied, "son, you can't deal with the issue I am ringing up about, so what the fuck makes you think I have confidence that you may be able to help me with anything else?"

As the majority of these phone calls were made whilst I was at work, it provided wonderful entertainment for my colleagues with the way I reacted during these calls. At least it put a smile on their faces, and had an appreciative audience for my replies down the phone.

Our GP surgery have a really hideous song playing when you're on hold.

Lu, one of the surgeries I have the misfortune of having to deal with, their on hold music is jazz for fucks sake. It's like some form mangled shit that failed to make it in those Snoopy and Charlie Brown cartoons.

 

[Human Ex Machinae]

This thread reminds of when I got sick in February and started calling the Finnish covid hotline. I don't know what they're playing now, but back then the on hold music was horrifically sad, hellish funeral music like something from an Ingmar Bergman film on acid.

 

[pooky]

yeah Winslow, I’ve done the callback option. i’m glad some places offer that! one time they never called back but generally its great that some companies/organizations realize how important the callback option is. its great that you have that in person cribbage! i wish i could get someone to go on a walk in the park with me. at least i bumped into this guy yesterday...
View attachment 40054

While walking in a park last year, I took a photo of my shadow and it looked similar

 

[dandelion s]

so what the fuck makes you think I have confidence that you may be able to help me with anything else?

i hope you don’t mind if i steal that question. so many times i just smiled and said no thanks.

it provided wonderful entertainment for my colleagues with the way I reacted during these calls.

While walking in a park last year, I took a photo of my shadow and it looked similar

Must have been the same guy. he always turns up everywhere.

 

[pooky]

@extraterrestrialone which guy you are talking about?

 

[dandelion s]

This thread reminds of when I got sick in February and started calling the Finnish covid hotline. I don't know what they're playing now, but back then the on hold music was horrifically sad, hellish funeral music like something from an Ingmar Bergman film on acid.

that sounds like the same music my insurance company plays. its sad and depressing ...and funeral? maybe that shows how some think of the people who call them. maybe?