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Jim’s April 12+, 2022 Introspective/Tantalizing/CopingMechanism/Nibbling Café
- Thread starter dandelions
- Start date
Hey, thanks @extraterrestrialone for the cafe, the invite and the rhyme, and sorry for my absenteeism...
Still, time for some questions ^^
- do you keep a diary? a Journal?
I only really did that when I got super depressed, and it got dark...
- some form of creative expression?
I wrote a few poems, took up whittling for a while, made plenty of models on sketchup, really whatever comes to mind, but I do have several completely fleshed out fictional universes in my head, everything worked out from basic physics all the way down to government, culture, trends, art etc for each universe. I tried writing it down once, but it was too much. I really wish I could write a book in one of those universes, but I just dont have that gift.
- an outlet… that famous “coping mechanism”?
Various forms of compartmentalisation and escapism, from my reality and even from myself.
- and of course answer this question… what is the one thing you wrote about that you
wouldn’t tell a soul, not even me.
The biggest secrets I have ever written about were on here.
- do you run a marathon to let off some steam?
I don't run much, it feels cumbersome, I would want to lose a little weight by other means first. I find when I am about 5-10 kg lighter than my usual running is MUCH more fun.
- how you talk to yourself or to god. ...or to the universe.
I talk to many things.
1) God
2) various sides of myself
3) Inanimate objects
4) Figments of my imagination
5) Occasionally..... real people.
- do you try to get published or have your work shown in a gallery?
Nope, though I wrote a few very short stories on the "Writing Prompts" subreddit.... That was fun...
- are you constantly on guard?
Yes
Still, time for some questions ^^
- do you keep a diary? a Journal?
I only really did that when I got super depressed, and it got dark...
- some form of creative expression?
I wrote a few poems, took up whittling for a while, made plenty of models on sketchup, really whatever comes to mind, but I do have several completely fleshed out fictional universes in my head, everything worked out from basic physics all the way down to government, culture, trends, art etc for each universe. I tried writing it down once, but it was too much. I really wish I could write a book in one of those universes, but I just dont have that gift.
- an outlet… that famous “coping mechanism”?
Various forms of compartmentalisation and escapism, from my reality and even from myself.
- and of course answer this question… what is the one thing you wrote about that you
wouldn’t tell a soul, not even me.
The biggest secrets I have ever written about were on here.
- do you run a marathon to let off some steam?
I don't run much, it feels cumbersome, I would want to lose a little weight by other means first. I find when I am about 5-10 kg lighter than my usual running is MUCH more fun.
- how you talk to yourself or to god. ...or to the universe.
I talk to many things.
1) God
2) various sides of myself
3) Inanimate objects
4) Figments of my imagination
5) Occasionally..... real people.
- do you try to get published or have your work shown in a gallery?
Nope, though I wrote a few very short stories on the "Writing Prompts" subreddit.... That was fun...
- are you constantly on guard?
Yes
thanks for the tag! @extraterrestrialone
only just seen now!
this is an interesting topic
• do you keep a diary? I'm not sure what the difference is between a diary and a journal exactly, but I keep something haha, I write my feelings, experiences, thoughts, both good and bad, mixed with photos sometimes, multiple times a week and have done for years, but online in a private blog rather than on paper. I'd be even more lost without that. Helps me get things off my chest or rationalize my thoughts (sometimes I can't see things clearly unless I write them out), and to document positive memories and have something to look back on. Whether that be reliving happier moments or looking back on how bad I was in the past and seeing the progress I've made. I know without documenting it all I wouldn't have remembered half the details so wouldn't truly know how far I've come. Also, for times when I have trouble with abusive people it helps me keep some sanity so I know I can't be gaslit or anything cause I wrote down exactly what happened and what I did/didn't do at the time! No room for second guessing myself in the future because the proof is there in black and white of what really happened!
• a journal? ^
• some form of creative expression? yes I find that very helpful though sometimes its hard to stay motivated
• an outlet… that famous “coping mechanism”?? my coping mechanisms are silly things like talking to my pillow and pretending its someone supporting me, saying all the things I wish people would say to me, or things like watching people on youtube who make me laugh or feel relaxed, watching movies, music, walking, etc.
• do you run a marathon to let off some steam? haha oh god no I hate running!
• how you talk to yourself or to god. ...or to the universe. I talk to the universe sometimes, sometimes it feels like it falls on deaf ears but other times I feel like I do receive help, through funny perfect timing, unexpected things happening that help me, and unexplainable moments of small comfort. I talk to myself in a way I wish someone would talk to me, I hate feeling alone though so for the most part I say positive things out loud but pretend its someone else saying it rather than just me to myself, otherwise I just dont find it as helpful if I'm constantly aware that "oh look its just me alone saying stuff to myself cause nobody else will there isnt really anyone here praising me or supporting me how sad". You always hear all this talk about be independent!! its good to only be yourself encouraging yourself!! girlboss!!! but after years of doing it it isnt empowering, its just depressing and lonely as hell.
• are you constantly on guard? yes. Been hurt too many times even by nice people who you wouldn't expect it from, so with that and trust issues, and with anxiety, and with being an introvert, I'm very on guard.
only just seen now!
this is an interesting topic
• do you keep a diary? I'm not sure what the difference is between a diary and a journal exactly, but I keep something haha, I write my feelings, experiences, thoughts, both good and bad, mixed with photos sometimes, multiple times a week and have done for years, but online in a private blog rather than on paper. I'd be even more lost without that. Helps me get things off my chest or rationalize my thoughts (sometimes I can't see things clearly unless I write them out), and to document positive memories and have something to look back on. Whether that be reliving happier moments or looking back on how bad I was in the past and seeing the progress I've made. I know without documenting it all I wouldn't have remembered half the details so wouldn't truly know how far I've come. Also, for times when I have trouble with abusive people it helps me keep some sanity so I know I can't be gaslit or anything cause I wrote down exactly what happened and what I did/didn't do at the time! No room for second guessing myself in the future because the proof is there in black and white of what really happened!
• a journal? ^
• some form of creative expression? yes I find that very helpful though sometimes its hard to stay motivated
• an outlet… that famous “coping mechanism”?? my coping mechanisms are silly things like talking to my pillow and pretending its someone supporting me, saying all the things I wish people would say to me, or things like watching people on youtube who make me laugh or feel relaxed, watching movies, music, walking, etc.
• do you run a marathon to let off some steam? haha oh god no I hate running!
• how you talk to yourself or to god. ...or to the universe. I talk to the universe sometimes, sometimes it feels like it falls on deaf ears but other times I feel like I do receive help, through funny perfect timing, unexpected things happening that help me, and unexplainable moments of small comfort. I talk to myself in a way I wish someone would talk to me, I hate feeling alone though so for the most part I say positive things out loud but pretend its someone else saying it rather than just me to myself, otherwise I just dont find it as helpful if I'm constantly aware that "oh look its just me alone saying stuff to myself cause nobody else will there isnt really anyone here praising me or supporting me how sad". You always hear all this talk about be independent!! its good to only be yourself encouraging yourself!! girlboss!!! but after years of doing it it isnt empowering, its just depressing and lonely as hell.
• are you constantly on guard? yes. Been hurt too many times even by nice people who you wouldn't expect it from, so with that and trust issues, and with anxiety, and with being an introvert, I'm very on guard.
I really need my music to survive. To reset from the day. I'll listen to it for hours after work and lookup random things on the internet. Or just zone out.
Asmr is a magical thing too. I'm a huge audiophile.
I also have to fidget for a few hours . I have ADD and the fidgeting/stimming is kind of next level for me. I'm always doing it somehow. My ears, my hair, shirt fabrics, anything soft... So I've gone days without either of those coping mechanisms before, and I wasn't in a good place lol! (What a freak I am.. Ugh)
But my hands are always playing with something.
I journal too..it seems random to me.
thank you for the tag @extraterrestrialone
Asmr is a magical thing too. I'm a huge audiophile.
I also have to fidget for a few hours . I have ADD and the fidgeting/stimming is kind of next level for me. I'm always doing it somehow. My ears, my hair, shirt fabrics, anything soft... So I've gone days without either of those coping mechanisms before, and I wasn't in a good place lol! (What a freak I am.. Ugh)
But my hands are always playing with something.
I journal too..it seems random to me.
thank you for the tag @extraterrestrialone
I turn on. I turn off. I don't really mean to be that way. it's just these things of life getting the better of me.
ugh, my poems! my posts! I'm always determined at the start that "this time it will be short and to the point or at least not excessively long" and in no time at all its a mile long and the clock has mysteriously advanced a couple hours. maybe it's some kind of coping mechanism for me, but I must admit it surely leaves the reader with something to cope with. still I'm so happy you liked the poem. 😊
hey forever & lost, can you tell me a little more about this? is it just the feeling i believe i’m quite aware of, or is it something someone has turned into an app or yt channel? its funny, i get this feeling and it actually embarrasses me and i don’t know why, like i’m not suppose to like things. yikes! what does it mean?
i’m not really sure either but there are times when others discuss them as separate things. i think of a diary as something you might write in on a daily basis like “dear diary…” and just talk about the events and feelings of the day. and a journal maybe being something you might do less often but get deeper into things. but there definitely seems to be at least a blurred line here. and either one or both do help (as i see it) the way you are describing. it seems like it actually becomes like a physical extension of the self that you may need or may want to shed eventually! i kept a diary when i was in my teens and twenties and even maybe 30s but mostly on assorted scraps of paper and in the middle of the night in bed with a pen, or worse with a pencil. now i’ve unearthed them and can’t just go and throw them out but my penmanship was not the best. maybe a nightmare itself trying to read them! sounds like you have it under control!
the stupid universe has no ears but i know it listens anyway! and i guess it is not so stupid either. it just is so busy doing those universe things like being that someone needed now and then. i think i understand what you are talking about. hey lost, i’m glad you made it to the café. its always open!
ugh, my poems! my posts! I'm always determined at the start that "this time it will be short and to the point or at least not excessively long" and in no time at all its a mile long and the clock has mysteriously advanced a couple hours. maybe it's some kind of coping mechanism for me, but I must admit it surely leaves the reader with something to cope with. still I'm so happy you liked the poem. 😊
hey forever & lost, can you tell me a little more about this? is it just the feeling i believe i’m quite aware of, or is it something someone has turned into an app or yt channel? its funny, i get this feeling and it actually embarrasses me and i don’t know why, like i’m not suppose to like things. yikes! what does it mean?
i’m not really sure either but there are times when others discuss them as separate things. i think of a diary as something you might write in on a daily basis like “dear diary…” and just talk about the events and feelings of the day. and a journal maybe being something you might do less often but get deeper into things. but there definitely seems to be at least a blurred line here. and either one or both do help (as i see it) the way you are describing. it seems like it actually becomes like a physical extension of the self that you may need or may want to shed eventually! i kept a diary when i was in my teens and twenties and even maybe 30s but mostly on assorted scraps of paper and in the middle of the night in bed with a pen, or worse with a pencil. now i’ve unearthed them and can’t just go and throw them out but my penmanship was not the best. maybe a nightmare itself trying to read them! sounds like you have it under control!
the stupid universe has no ears but i know it listens anyway! and i guess it is not so stupid either. it just is so busy doing those universe things like being that someone needed now and then. i think i understand what you are talking about. hey lost, i’m glad you made it to the café. its always open!
Oh wow, I thought I was reading another poem, but turns out, it was actually your response to my comment/post. That's how natural you are (but part of it really sounds like a poem and you probably did it intentionally...or not. I'm not sure haha).
Anyway, you are welcome and it's nice to finally participate, or rather, hangout here in this cafe.
Anyway, you are welcome and it's nice to finally participate, or rather, hangout here in this cafe.
there's lots of youtube channels of people doing ASMR, should defo check them out! there's lots that really good and unique. Yeah, ASMR does refer to the physical sensation you get from certain noises or visuals, (ASMR = autonomous sensory meridian response) but these days the term 'ASMR' is used kinda loosely, to describe the relaxation you get from people who make ASMR videos rather than just the actual physical sensation itself. I'm pretty immune to the tingles now but I still find ASMR videos super relaxing anyway. They make me very calm, or feel comforting, relaxing, some of them are so good they put me into a kind of trance-like state where it clears my mind totally and I don't feel anything bad anymore. It's lovely. They can make me drowsy too so great for putting me to sleep if I can't sleep. There's lots of variety these days, something for everyone on youtube. There's silly ASMR videos that can make you laugh too, outright weird ones, more serious ones like medical roleplays, or if you don't want personal attention there's just ASMR videos where you can't see the person's face and they don't talk, it's purely just the nice sounds they make.
Haha, its a lovely feeling! but yeah I get you, I would definitely feel weird if someone caught me relaxing to ASMR lol. When I first discovered it I thought it was crazy cringey and weird but after time found it worked wonders and it didn't feel weird anymore. If you'd like some recommendations for channels I could tell you some
Haha, its a lovely feeling! but yeah I get you, I would definitely feel weird if someone caught me relaxing to ASMR lol. When I first discovered it I thought it was crazy cringey and weird but after time found it worked wonders and it didn't feel weird anymore. If you'd like some recommendations for channels I could tell you some
I think I read once that a diary is more writing and a journal is more mixed media like scrapbooking style? but no clue, I've heard different things 
I used to keep physical diaries as a kid, notebooks I would literally write "dear diary...." but as I became an adult found it easier to type and organize in a blog.
haha, yeah that's one reason I stopped writing and turned to doing online! makes your hand ache too much writing! and the amount of stuff I have to write..... oh boy...... I'd be straining my arm if I still wrote it by hand!
yeah feels good to have a system in place the only problem I found was sometimes finding it triggering to look back on old entries that were upsetting but I didn't want to delete them necessarily as I thought they may come in handy one day, but I figured out a way around it - started setting up a tagging system, tagging each entry as either positive, neutral/safe, or negative, so I could keep things for reference but avoid upsetting entries if I felt i needed to or seek out positive ones!
thanks
I definitely feel little signs from "the universe" sometimes, it feels nice to feel like something has my back every now and then!
I used to keep physical diaries as a kid, notebooks I would literally write "dear diary...." but as I became an adult found it easier to type and organize in a blog.
haha, yeah that's one reason I stopped writing and turned to doing online! makes your hand ache too much writing! and the amount of stuff I have to write..... oh boy...... I'd be straining my arm if I still wrote it by hand!
yeah feels good to have a system in place
the only problem I found was sometimes finding it triggering to look back on old entries that were upsetting but I didn't want to delete them necessarily as I thought they may come in handy one day, but I figured out a way around it - started setting up a tagging system, tagging each entry as either positive, neutral/safe, or negative, so I could keep things for reference but avoid upsetting entries if I felt i needed to or seek out positive ones!thanks
I definitely feel little signs from "the universe" sometimes, it feels nice to feel like something has my back every now and then!
@extraterrestrialone @lost_in_a_fairytale
Which asmrs do you like?
I tend to like ASMRtists on Youtube that are in another language, so that I don't focus on the words. I like whispers and deep voices LOL I understand how it would be cringey to others outside my bedroom. Nothing sexual about ASMR although people that make fun of it, claim there is. But there's literally so many weird, fascinating, awesome ASMR videos now. Its really booming!
First time I got asmr was as a little kid, listening to the neighbor play his guitar. And I couldn't explain why it made me get "tingles" or what that feeling was. Now there's a word for it!!
What about you guys?
Sorry,it was easier to just reply to you both like this
Which asmrs do you like?
I tend to like ASMRtists on Youtube that are in another language, so that I don't focus on the words. I like whispers and deep voices LOL I understand how it would be cringey to others outside my bedroom. Nothing sexual about ASMR although people that make fun of it, claim there is. But there's literally so many weird, fascinating, awesome ASMR videos now. Its really booming!
First time I got asmr was as a little kid, listening to the neighbor play his guitar. And I couldn't explain why it made me get "tingles" or what that feeling was. Now there's a word for it!!
What about you guys?
Sorry,it was easier to just reply to you both like this
I like most of them! I love roleplays and personal attention, I find them the most tingly. Love haircuts, medical roleplays, shopping ones, makeup ones. I also like some where its just the noises, love standard tapping, but I enjoy lots of other sounds too like water sounds, wood, crinkles, typing, page turning.
I like certain voices but some of them I don't find as relaxing. I have seen some people trying to make it sexual :/ I can't stand those videos of ear licking and mouth noises, some of them start licking the mic and it looks sexual and weird.
I got ASMR as a kid in the playground when kids would draw letters on your back and when my hair was brushed and played with
I like certain voices but some of them I don't find as relaxing. I have seen some people trying to make it sexual :/ I can't stand those videos of ear licking and mouth noises, some of them start licking the mic and it looks sexual and weird.
I got ASMR as a kid in the playground when kids would draw letters on your back and when my hair was brushed and played with
I like most of them! I love roleplays and personal attention, I find them the most tingly. Love haircuts, medical roleplays, shopping ones, makeup ones. I also like some where its just the noises, love standard tapping, but I enjoy lots of other sounds too like water sounds, wood, crinkles, typing, page turning.
I like certain voices but some of them I don't find as relaxing. I have seen some people trying to make it sexual :/ I can't stand those videos of ear licking and mouth noises, some of them start licking the mic and it looks sexual and weird.
I got ASMR as a kid in the playground when kids would draw letters on your back and when my hair was brushed and played with
I like certain voices but some of them I don't find as relaxing. I have seen some people trying to make it sexual :/ I can't stand those videos of ear licking and mouth noises, some of them start licking the mic and it looks sexual and weird.
I got ASMR as a kid in the playground when kids would draw letters on your back and when my hair was brushed and played with
There's a girl that sings quietly in Spanish, and a russian dude who has a deep voice. I also like Fredsvoice asmr a lot! Ooh typing on keyboards is good, too! 😁
sure!
some great channels that are just the sounds - no talking:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwjnUEhzoV4-hO9pZ0dP2yA
https://www.youtube.com/c/VitoASMR
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDH70xAv1bBeaCt5Cc7a96A
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcDB-dzjhlZLMmJVL6eVTYQ
https://www.youtube.com/user/ASMRSURGE
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmZb4LwQRhEzZX5Uqpcqziw
some great channels that do include talking sometimes:
https://www.youtube.com/user/KarunaSatoriASMR
https://www.youtube.com/user/GentleWhispering
https://www.youtube.com/user/WhisperMister1
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHrKd8ElaVdk7OBQAgx8JrQ
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcxbhjKiHcHTwpqPryY5iWg
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE6acMV3m35znLcf0JGNn7Q
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxmb-TUoIwTsYGNOyy0B5MQ
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUS3TTI9gAmrnnV0LlKeR3Q
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpQfL73z-O9XRl_MzExaBfw
some great channels that are just the sounds - no talking:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwjnUEhzoV4-hO9pZ0dP2yA
https://www.youtube.com/c/VitoASMR
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDH70xAv1bBeaCt5Cc7a96A
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcDB-dzjhlZLMmJVL6eVTYQ
https://www.youtube.com/user/ASMRSURGE
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmZb4LwQRhEzZX5Uqpcqziw
some great channels that do include talking sometimes:
https://www.youtube.com/user/KarunaSatoriASMR
https://www.youtube.com/user/GentleWhispering
https://www.youtube.com/user/WhisperMister1
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHrKd8ElaVdk7OBQAgx8JrQ
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcxbhjKiHcHTwpqPryY5iWg
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCE6acMV3m35znLcf0JGNn7Q
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxmb-TUoIwTsYGNOyy0B5MQ
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUS3TTI9gAmrnnV0LlKeR3Q
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpQfL73z-O9XRl_MzExaBfw
yessss! I just posted Fredsvoice in my recommendations to @extraterrestrialone !
I just watched his harry potter video recently, its amazing how good they make them with the effects!
I just watched his harry potter video recently, its amazing how good they make them with the effects!
oh yeah thats true, I remember when lots of them were titled binaural
I LOVE spray bottles oh and scissor sounds! some people in haircut roleplays scrap the scissors along the comb and then snip the air and I love that sound so much, I've not seen many do it though.
I find myself tapping on things in public now, or making the "tut tut tut" or "shooop" noises to myself sometimes and it makes me feel better, I think my brain is trained now to associate those noises and tapping with being safe and feeling relaxed
I LOVE spray bottles oh and scissor sounds! some people in haircut roleplays scrap the scissors along the comb and then snip the air and I love that sound so much, I've not seen many do it though.
I find myself tapping on things in public now, or making the "tut tut tut" or "shooop" noises to myself sometimes and it makes me feel better, I think my brain is trained now to associate those noises and tapping with being safe and feeling relaxed