This is a great idea, I never thought of something like this ^^ Its so out of the box.
The Memoir
Sorry this turned out so long... TLDR at the end for those of low reading stamina. (
To
Long
Didnt
Read for anyone who doesnt know what TLDR is, basically a summery)
So by this point my mum had already left my dad and moved back to Norway, and we were still trying to keep in touch as a family, so the three of us, my brother, sister and I, all decided to fly over to Norway for her birthday. No sooner did she hear about this than we heard back from her keeper, our Aunt, that we would ALSO be going to her wedding, no invite, nothing, just "you're coming here too". We were not pleased. We didnt like out Aunt ever since she started draining our mum's bank account for all it was worth and playing on our mother's naiveite to keep her handing over the money by the tens of thousands, but we had little choice, we couldn't visit out mum and shun her best friend and keeper, so we resigned ourselves to it.
I dont remember my mum's birthday, it was an unremarkable even overshadowed by the moment we met the thinner her, and our Aunt's wedding, it just sort of happened at some point in between. But the wedding was terrible.
My Aunt, lets call her Ethel, was marrying a real simpering man who had some money and the attitude of "Im just happy to be here" which she used to control him, and is probably the only reason they stayed married for over 4 years. The wedding itself was a logistical nightmare and as romantic as a brick to the groin, taking place in a car park of all places. (You couldn't make this shit up). After the actual marrying part, so unremarkable as to have any detail and the actual vows itself struck from memory, they drove off in an overly elaborate old car for their wedding photos and leaving all their guests to wander around a car park making awkward conversation for an hour, and it was awkward.
When the triumphant couple returned they announced we had reached the 2nd phase of the wedding... yes, the odd part. We all changed out of our suits and dresses into "moving around" clothes to go on some sort of activity day. We knew this was coming so were prepared. The activity day wasnt actually that bad, there was silly stuff like trying to balance on inflated cushions on a trampoline whilst trying to knock others off theirs and human wheelbarrow races, and cool bits like archery and axe throwing. Of course I excelled at the Archery as I had preciously done it as a hobby, but I really wished I did better at the axe throwing, though I remember my mum really enjoyed it. From housewife to (failing) business owner and axe throwing Viking, she was enjoying herself at least.
Then came phase 3 of he wedding, where, sweaty and tired, we were told we were ALL changing BACK into our suits and dresses for the reception. We were NOT expecting this and were not prepared, many of us has stuffed our suits roughly into a bag after changing our of them so the shirts and trousers were crumpled and horrible now, but Ethel insisted and got very stroppy about it, but there were several dissenters, mainly me and my siblings, Ethel wasnt happy. Ethel not being happy made things difficult for us, as we has devised a game of our own during the 2nd phase. The activity day gave out stickers for winning events, and we had got our hands on plenty, so we now were seeing who could secretly stick one to the bride, Aunt Ethel, we would have stopped after she put on her wedding dress again, but her attitude just spurred us on further, but since she was angry with us, we couldn't get close. "If you want a hug, put on your suit".
Our dog-house group quickly formed what we called the "naughty table" at the reception, we didnt choose seating but our entire table was very disillusioned about the whole proceeding so it worked out well, after a while our cousin (lets call her Gemma) who was going through a REALLY bad breakup (burned houses, stalking etc) was also not in a "love is alive" kind of mood joined us at the naughty table, thats when OUR fun really began.
Firstly, having a new participant spurred me on and I realised that if I just put on my suit jacket (which was still good) i MAY look smart enough to get a hug from Ethel. I tend to wear smart jeans and a casual shirt most of the time as I was then, so the jacket almost made me look respectable, and it worked. I got hug, and a big yellow sticker RIGHT on her wedding dress which I was later told showed up in the reception photos. ^^ SCORE! After that we spent the remainder of the night listening to the gag-worthy professions of love from the two whilst watching (and NOT intervening) as one of Gemma's kids caused havoc. He took a toy firetruck with LOUD sound effects and started playing with it in-front of the professions of vomit-inducers ruining the mood (if you really can ruin that), then spilled a LOT of drinks at the drinks table, then took a plastic cup FULL TO THE BRIM with juice over to the sound system. We were LOVING it and all quietly egging him on to spill it on the sound board.
That wedding was horrible, truly, but it was also a bonding experience for Gemma and us, she is now, without a doubt, our favourite sibling on that side of the family, we get on with her better than all the others, and even invited her over to England to share our Christmas events (my brother makes a production out of it) but so far she hasnt found the time with kids and work and such. I didn't like the wedding, and the marriage has since fallen apart (probably around the time he ran out of money) but I will always fondly remember the naughty table.
TLDR: Got force invited to a wedding as romantic as a piss-soaked face flannel and spent the evening conspiring against it, ruining wedding photos, and "touching" moments, and bonding with our cousin. Great times.
The Portfolio
I drew this as part of a trade, we each draw and show each other our attempts, but I quite liked this one, for once Im not ashamed of something I have done in an artistic capacity, so here it is:
My dad's dog.
The Letter
- What do you know about your ancestors?
Only bits and pieces, I know as far as my grandparents, then almost nothing. I know about my great great grandfather on my mum's dad's side, I inherited his pocket watch so my grandfather took me aside and told me stories about the man who owned it. My sister knows WAY more, she did some sort of genealogy project on her own time, but im honestly not that interested. Beyond maybe 2 generations past any living relative it makes so difference who your ancestors were.
- What do you know about other groups of people living in your vicinity?
I live in london, "other groups" came from all over the world. In the past few years I have worked with or got to know people from Poland, Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan, China, America, Scotland, Wales, some parts of Africa, and those are just the ones I learned their origin of. London is just sort of everywhere shoved into 1 place.
- What are the languages that you are able to speak or read?
English. I have
started learning Norwegian twice, once when I was very young (my mum wanted us to be bilingual as she is Norwegian) which caused a family argument when we got too pleased that we had a secret language so we stopped, and once more recently (a year or two ago) which was ruined by a polish prick who chose that exact period to try to force me to learn polish, every time we worked together he would nag constantly for me to repeat phrases and would say whole sentences to me about our work in polish and said I just had to learn. It was so frustrating it put me off learning Norwegian too.
- What are the foreign cultures that you find interesting?
Norwegian has this strange sort of "Im not better than anyone else" attitude that runs deep in its culture, its strange, and manefests with everyone being relentlessly friendly, positive and normal. It is kind of wonderfully refreshing, but at the same time, for a guy like me with a deeply dark, cynical and whacky sense of humour, it can be a little stifling.
Japan is... interesting... It is a perfect example of a destroyed culture. There are all sorts of hold-overs from older and nobler times, but they are constantly co-existing and clashing with an entirely opposing culture of total self-indulgence. Its the only nation I know which has both a strong sense of respect and etiquette, honorifics in every sentence AND used-panty vending machines; a powerful culture of social responsibility and hard work, and TV which is SO flooded with the deranged pornographic fantasies of seriously creepy people. Its sort of a bizarre dichotomy which just fascinated me wondering "How the hell did THIS come to be??"
Also, my boss has this weird thing against brooms which baffles me, he says it is deeply disrespectful to poke someone with a broom in his culture. ??
- What do you know about yourself?
More every day I hope. "Know your enemy" so to speak.
I will tag some people here & also reply to all those things you put there, fun themes! 
:p
