Jim's Cafe - Saturday, November 15, 2025

[Angie]

Hello SF family, I hope this finds you as well as can be.

I'm noticing an upswing of posts on the forum about the holidays. Yes, the holidays are upon us. (US folks have Thanksgiving soon). So I thought we might collaborate together to find ways to navigate the holidays.

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?
If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?
Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?
What would a good holiday season look like to you?

 

[Angie]

@JMG @seabird @FFurry @Witty_Sarcasm @LumberJack @Harmony @puffymilk @Fbr27 @Atreides

just a few tags to start, remember EVERYONE is invited

 

[puffymilk]

Thanks for the tag!

To me holidays have been pretty boring as an adult. Out of all those holidays, I only celebrate New Year's. It kinda scares me that time goes by so fast. I don't really have strategies with difficult holidays. I just hate staying home all the time but the outside would be too crowded. I guess as a child holidays are more exciting because I'd have breaks from school. I hope to spend my future holiday seasons with a spouse and my kids.

 

[Congratsbaby]

Hello SF family, I hope this finds you as well as can be.

I'm noticing an upswing of posts on the forum about the holidays. Yes, the holidays are upon us. (US folks have Thanksgiving soon). So I thought we might collaborate together to find ways to navigate the holidays.

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?
If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?
Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?
What would a good holiday season look like to you?

Hi , I am not Christian and it has been but still not a huge deal in India ( the holidays mentioned) but I still want to share my answers regarding them.

The west have always fascinated me ever since I was little. Your culture is so different from us and I just find it more fun. I think holidays are super fun. Atleast that's what they look like ( from all that I have read and seen ). I do not necessarily look forward to these holidays anymore ( or times because we don't really get holidays in India) because of grief particularly. But I still think that these are good times and I wish I can experience it some day ( like actually being in one of the western countries during the time ).

Yes they became difficult sadly , because of grief. I try to allow myself feel my feelings and I also try to express myself in whatever I feel like , that maybe by talking to someone about it or something else.

Yes, I do have positive memories. I don't remember which class or standard I was in but our school threw this new year's party and that was so fun. I was with my friends group ( now former friends group ) and we ate and there was dancing and singing. It was really fun. I also remember very fondly because it was my tradition. I used to prepare gifts for my friends and cousins ( cousins sometimes but for friends it was sure ) to give on Christmas and New year's cards on new year. And I remember me and my brother and the cousins used to get so excited and we used to talk about it. The tradition or why it gets celebrated or if Santa Claus is real or not lmao. I remember there was this game my brother introduced and I don't remember it anymore but you had to write your wish in it I guess and Santa Claus would fulfill it. My brother wrote for a bagpack once and idk how but he got it. ( I mean I know someone got it for him but I can't recall the exact story or how it happened)

I think a good holiday season regardless of what festival it is would be with your loved ones and friends and people you care about. In a cosy environment where everyone is safe and there's lots of fun and laughter and just warmth.

 

[Angie]

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?
The holidays are a stressful time for me. The focus is family, and I have no family of my own and my family of origin is dead. The holidays remind me of my alone ness.
If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?
I try to plan something, even something small, for myself on those days.
Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?
My mother loved Thanksgiving and Christmas, but especially Christmas. The Christmas tree would go up (with all the presents) the day after Thanksgiving. Mom started making Christmas candy in September and October. The house was always filled with the aromas of candy, cake and other cooking.
What would a good holiday season look like to you?
Since I can't recapture my childhood holidays, I am working towards trying to make my own traditions and find peace with that.

 

[AvidFan]

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?
Funnily enough I was thinking of putting up my Christmas tree today. Don't have Thanksgiving being in the UK, but people are already putting up Christmas decorations etc. Suppose it's not far off. I generally hate the build up, public transport gets worse (drivers off, Christmas shoppers etc making things a lot more crowded and busy and messy). The actual holidays I love because it's the one time in the year I am guaranteed a 2 week break with nobody bothering me, I save up so I can afford the dip in income and just treat myself to long days reading, eating chocolate, and relaxing as much as possible. No work emails for 2 weeks - luxury! The actual day I hate, having to mask and generate performative affection for family, but it's only a few hours and then I can go back home.
If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?
Fortunately don't find them difficult.
Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?
Too many to mention. Remember getting an Atari as a child and ended up playing it last thing on Christmas Eve as nobody could wait any longer. Remember long days of playing Space Invaders, friends from all over the street would come to play it. Also fond memories of the Christmas post box at school, and school (primary) generally at that time of year. Everything seemed vibrant and alive, the dark nights were cosy. I think Christmas time at school back then were some really happy times, especially being in the Christmas pantomime and things like that.
What would a good holiday season look like to you?
No family incidents, just being left alone, maybe seeing friends, but mainly just shutting the door on the world for a bit and hopefully recharging my mental batteries. Am going to take it easy in the run up to Christmas this year, as last year I had a terrible time and just got more and more tired when resting - but turned out to be medication withdrawal due to running out just before the holidays - won't make that mistake again! This year I want to completely unwind and retreat from my obligations for a bit.

 

[cymbele]

I was just thinking of opening a Cafe but @Angie beat me to it. Maybe next weekend. The theme was going to be holidays also but I wasn't sure how to address it since so many people were going to be alone and I didn't want to rub it in their faces that for a change I have a place to go for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?

Usually feel trepidation about being alone but this year I invited myself to a friend's Thanksgiving dinner and he said, "okay but you have more room, how about your place?" So I will be hosting. It will be pot luck but I will supply the turkey.
Christmas Eve I will be alone but the same friend invited me to his home for Christmas dinner and movie. NYE I will be alone but it is only an evening.


What would a good holiday season look like to you?

I put up lights around the windows and put out my tree. This is my tree


I go around and take pictures of Chrismas lights for the next years' Chritsmas Card. I dunno about this year - I have no plans to view christmas lights.

 

[Fbr27]

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?

I love them all. Christmas, New Year, Independence Day, Halloween, even Carnival (which some people here hate it, believe it or not).

I never celebrated Thanksgiving, but it is another holiday, so I agree with Thanksgiving too and whatever they do in Thanksgiving.


If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?

It isn't difficult for me at all. I wish there was more holidays. We should create more.

I just wish that more people celebrated them. So many lonely people choose not to celebrate holidays because they argued with their family or something, or because they don't have money.

The only problem about holidays is that usually people want to listen to loud music that sucks (like Bruno Mars or something) on holidays.

Some people also want to sleep after 1 AM. On christmas (!?) Some people don't have the party vibes...

Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?

Yes. In São Paulo (city) we used to celebrate christmas around all our stepfather family. We would begin to party around 10 PM and stop only in the next morning (and carry on the next day)

Loud music everywhere, huge fireworks (the ground would shake by so many fireworks), we used to eat until we got sick. Barbecue, pave, panettone and everything....



What would a good holiday season look like to you?

I think that Christmas should be for like 5 days. Instead of two and New Year holiday should be one week of celebration.

It is so hard to enter in the "feeling" of celebrations. Celebrations should be moments where you connect with other people, connect with your spirituality and connect with your country.

Churches should be open to everyone who wants to party. The government should have mandated holiday expenses.

I believe non-ironically that there is a non-spurious connection between the lack of holidays and suicides in many places.

Once I watched this lecture by this American psychologist about suicide (it is on youtube). In that lecture he says that people actually commit less suicide on the holidays or important dats (contrary to the stereotype). People are more relaxed.

You know when people kill themselves more? In April-June. Because they are working more, are more stressed and energized.

 

[KM76710]

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?

I enjoy the holidays. Some of the best times of the year visiting with family as we all get older, slower and especially lazier and just wanting to do as little as possible.

Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?

Quite a few. Being a youngun during this years years and decades past was fun. Just show up, be a big kid enjoying breaks from school then work what may take place seeing kinfolk scattered all over Texas we did not see quite as often.

What would a good holiday season look like to you?

Do as little as possible work at home and just relax and enjoy the year end, try to think of possible positives coming up with the new year.

 

[cymbele]

Tagging a few to start
@Lane @JMG @JanisSPK @AmberMarie @SillyOldBear
Forgive me if I double tagged anyone

 

[SillyOldBear]

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?

I don't look forward to the holidays much anymore. They were great when I was a kid. Mom cooked great meals, there were always gifts under the tree. But since I grew up and especially since my folks died, it just isn't the same.

If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?

Holidays have also gotten way too expensive so I only buy for my nieces kids and put a limit on amount spent and don't stay too long at her place on Christmas.

Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?

Certainly. The smell of the turkey cooking on Thanksgiving, and the excellent meal. Mom would set out candles and use the good dishes. Decorating the tree at Christmas and the Christmas music. I still love the music. Family all together and healthy.

What would a good holiday season look like to you?

Family together. Enough money to do it right. Listening to real Christmas music and watching Christmas music. Having the whole family believe in the reason for the season: Jesus Christ.

 

[puffymilk]

I was just thinking of opening a Cafe but @Angie beat me to it. Maybe next weekend. The theme was going to be holidays also but I wasn't sure how to address it since so many people were going to be alone and I didn't want to rub it in their faces that for a change I have a place to go for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year.

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?

Usually feel trepidation about being alone but this year I invited myself to a friend's Thanksgiving dinner and he said, "okay but you have more room, how about your place?" So I will be hosting. It will be pot luck but I will supply the turkey.
Christmas Eve I will be alone but the same friend invited me to his home for Christmas dinner and movie. NYE I will be alone but it is only an evening.


What would a good holiday season look like to you?

I put up lights around the windows and put out my tree. This is my tree

View attachment 74004
I go around and take pictures of Chrismas lights for the next years' Chritsmas Card. I dunno about this year - I have no plans to view christmas lights.

Nice picture!

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Thank you for opening the cafe and for the tag @Angie

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?
Depends on the holiday. I usually like holidays during warmer months, but maybe I just like the weather more. :P I like Thanksgiving because of the food, and I like Christmas and New Years so I can decorate.

If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?
Just to take things one day at a time and try not to get too overwhelmed. Take a break if necessary.

Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?
Yes, spending time with my family when there were more of us to celebrate.

What would a good holiday season look like to you?
No stress, just a lot of connection and happiness.

 

[Lane]

@AmberMarie @Innocent Forever @FlamingoWrangler @iloverachel @nicktheundoer @Inastorm @Kiwi2016 @Pebble mouse

 

[Lane]

@Gonz @Baywasp @FFurry @littlebears @Sassy Cat @KM76710 @AvidFan @1964dodge

 

[Lane]

I get excited for the holidays now that my depression is under control.

This Thanksgiving myniece will be here, so I'm happy to cook. In fact today I'm starting to get some of the fixings.

A good holiday ironed without any fights, ha. Just good food and family, friends around.

I put some tree yesterday, a little ahead of schedule

 

[Congratsbaby]

I get excited for the holidays now that my depression is under control.

This Thanksgiving myniece will be here, so I'm happy to cook. In fact today I'm starting to get some of the fixings.

A good holiday ironed without any fights, ha. Just good food and family, friends around.

I put some tree yesterday, a little ahead of schedule View attachment 74013

The tree looks really pretty to me!

 

[AmberMarie]

Thank you for this wonderful idea in the Cafe @Angie and for the tags @cymbele and @Lane

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?
If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?
Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?
What would a good holiday season look like to you?

>i used to Love the holidays. i would go all out at every one. All the foods, decor, decorations (yes different), cards, gifts, just everything. i think i got burnt out. Used up my cheer, i duno. They became so incredibly stressful doing it all... then being expected to do it all, and trying to make every expectation and requirement. Shuffling the kids to 3-4 households on the "special" days. Currently... i insist that my kids put their focus on what is most important for them at that time. The last thing i ever want is for them to go through that same stress. So i tell them that it isnt the day that us important to me. Its them. And we will get together when they can.
*Thanksgiving... i personally give thanks to everyone in my thoughts. Not just on that day.
*Christmas... the family always had puppet productions going on, so we were always so busy. On Christmas eve, we would open 1 gift. The rest were in the morning. This tradition was passed down from my childhood.
*New Year's... just another day/night. It might be different for me if i had someone to share it with. We did used to have a big game night party type thing.
>i really dont have any strategies to help me deal with them. They just really suck! And i didn't have very good coping skills. It's white knuckle time of year.
>my positive memories are of family. Both old and new. The smiles on people's faces. my love language is giving. So i enjoy doing everything i can for others. From baking and making both cards and gifts.
>a good season to me is one without arguments and stress. In otherwords.... one without me.

 

[JMG]

Tysm for posting this cafe and tagging me Angie. Tysm to cymbele for also tagging me

Don’t have a lot of time to reply as still away from home for the next day or so, but will do my best to give at least a bit of a reply to the questions here.

How do you feel about the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's)?
If the holidays are difficult for you, what strategies do you use to deal?
Do you have any positive memories of the holidays?
What would a good holiday season look like to you?

1. I generally like most holidays. Christmas can sometimes cause me some stress, mostly cos of the family pressure kinds of things. I do my best to make the most of it though, and I know it could be much, much worse.

2. Doing my best to stay calm and not to get too caught up in anything anyone says or does. Just taking things one day at a time and being as gentle with myself as I can possibly be.

3. Sure, I definitely have some good memories.

4. Lowest stress level with the highest enjoyment level. It doesn’t often tend to be that way, especially at Christmas. If it was I probably wouldn’t be on here to begin with lol. I try my best to look on the bright side with things though, it’s not all bad for sure. I enjoy seeing my sweet kitty being curious when we put the presents under the tree. We always get her something too and I can tell she likes to be included in the celebration