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Life Begins at 40........Oh Really?

Discussion in 'Mid Life and Getting Older' started by SinisterKid, Jul 18, 2017.

  1. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    Its a saying we have all heard before. I am sure some ijit came up with it to try and make themselves feel better about turning 40. Not that 40 is a bad number in terms of years, its not, but it sure as hell aint all its cracked up to be in certain circles.

    My teens and early 20's came and went in somewhat of a blur, no doubt fuelled by certain illegal substances and a fair amount of liquid refreshment. Late 20's and most of my 30's were spent being fit, active and healthy. Everything was easy, life was good. Turning 40 was a milestone somewhere over the horizon.

    Being 40 s0mething is not anything I spent my time considering. I just was, like so many before and after me. Its just a number, much like any other.

    But there are subtle changes that only reflection can often reveal. If you have passed that point, you maybe know what I mean. If you have yet to reach that stage, well, you might understand where I am coming from at some time in the future.

    In my early 40's, the wheels came off in a major way. Sudden illness meant big changes to my life and my outlook. Things that I and many of us take for granted were no longer a given. The mental health suffered badly as I went into my late 40's. My life was certainly not beginning, it was on the verge of ending! If my physical health had been ok, would my mental health also have been fine? Well I have learnt that the two are very closely connected, working with a good OT and head doc has revealed that much.

    Turning 50 meant nothing to me whatsoever. Its a number, end of.

    Nowadays, when anyone asks my age, I really have to think hard before answering because I am not sure. My mind says I am 30 something, my body says I am 70 something.

    My ethos has certainly changed since I became 50 though, After a series of events, I now live for today and tomorrow only, not one second beyond that, because in my 40's, I learnt the futility of making plans. Life can change for better or worse in a heartbeat and in the short term, ie, today and tomorrow, we have some control, beyond that, it really is just a roll of the dice and we just have to accept that and move on. Life is fickle, so try and live each day as though it could be your last, glean everything you can from it, good, bad and damned ugly. If it is to be your last, for whatever the reason, then make it count, dont wait until you are 50 something before you reach such conclusions.

    I have been to my own personal hell and am trying to come back, if you read this, hopefully something within will strike a chord and maybe, just maybe, enable you to get that extra ounce [old school] out of tomorrow.
    LonelyHiker, Lane, BraveFace and 9 others like this.
  2. Dawn

    Dawn Well-Known Member

    Loved reading that and so true. I got a tumor in my head at 33 it is benign, but causes excruciating pain. It is on my Trigeminal Nerve and caused Trigeminal Neuralgia. It is actually also named the suicide disease. Physical and mental definitely connected, that is when the depression started getting bad. Anyway, I thought the tumor would kill me and feels like it is, but isn't. But now 47 and have medical problems that actually are. U are so right about all u said and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks
    SinisterKid likes this.
  3. Dawn

    Dawn Well-Known Member

    Like they say, "Youth is wasted on the young" isn't that the truth! Wish I would have known!!
    JacsMom, Lara_C and SinisterKid like this.
  4. HumanExMachina

    HumanExMachina Pizza Spaceman Forum Pro SF Artist SF Supporter

    40 was when I hit the first speed bump and realized I'd better start slowing down a little.
    Couldn't agree more. My only long term goal is to have a nice day.
    Walker and SinisterKid like this.
  5. Dawn

    Dawn Well-Known Member

    Sorry, think I went off topic quite a bit. Anyway, moving all that to "my story" forum.

    But more on the topic , to me the hardest part is all the damn regrets! If only we could have the wisdom we have acquired and be young! I would do so much differently.
  6. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    Regrets, I have a few,
    But then again,
    Too few to mention.

    I don't bother with regrets, I cant change anything that's gone, but I can change what is to come, that's the choices I have to make, no matter how good or bad they turn out to be.
    Lane, Innocent Forever and JacsMom like this.
  7. BraveFace

    BraveFace Well-Known Member

    I found your post a great read - so true! I am 45 and my life is going off the rails and I know the worst has yet to come :-(
    Lane likes this.
  8. Lane

    Lane Well-Known Member

    I read your post with great interest. Can relate. I text from my phone, but I do have many feelings about how I like to jokingly say, "knocking on 50's door". I find it scary. I'm unprepared and don't feel equal to my peers. I have thoughts of negativity and just summing up my life..i know I'm not alone. I'm single and when not feeling low think maybe there is a hope and try not to lose hope.
    BraveFace likes this.