Limit myself to be

[sightseer]

Dealing with my newborn illness, anxiety disorder, and previous one, Hallucinosis. I'm limiting myself to be, I take medicine and practice mindfulness and prayers, and just be with this feeling. I've been feeling it for months without interruption and I just let it go, let go of what I didn't want to be and just am. One day it will be easier, when one gets used to it. When I get used to it i'll stop fighting it and part of it will go away, when the pain of not wanting to feel goes away will just remain the disorder - disorder that's being dealt with.

I accept this suffering to make myself more human, more compassionate. I accept this pain to grow from it. It doesn't have to be a sentence, I will adapt and make new choices from it. I will live again around a illness, a thing that I thought I've had mastered before. It's not a good thing, but it doesn't to be sentence, something good can come from this. I'll try to live in a way where handling myself doesn't come seconds, by living a life centered around this where this can be handled and controlled and yet I would be accepted with with. Maybe a way dedicated to search the inner most peace, a job that would do me more healthy and less stressed. That way seems to exists - I'll search for it.

 

[Oizys Moros]

It is very therapeutic to exhale 😮‍💨

Wishing you the best!!

 

[LumberJack]

That is a very healthy and mature perspective, IMHO. I wish I could let go of the things I don't want that are in my past. I do all sorts of "homework" to drop it, but it feels like it's stuck to me with a very strong adhesive. My skin is sensitive to adhesive (e.g., in first-aid tape), so the image of adhesive to me comes along with wondering if ripping the band-aid will also rip my skin. If you want, it would be interesting to read about how you learned to let things be, even when they are harder to accept.

BTW - if I am not mistaken your avatar image is a Tibetan rendition of Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva mahasattva of compassion. In the lineage of Buddhism that I practice, the "characters" of Tibetan iconography - the deities, bodhisattva mahasattvas, even the six realms of samsara, are really externalized representations of our own awakened heart. This makes sense in the teachings about emptiness, since if there is no enduring and stable "self" that makes me, "me," then the separation between self and other is perceptual but inherently illusory. A very helpful illusion for navigating the relative world, but ultimately empty. I am reminded when I see this image that I can be compassionate to myself, internally. Also that I do have this bodhisattva potential within my heart to offer softness and compassion to all beings.