List one positive thing you are looking forward to.

[Auri]

I also know that I am the very literal living embodiment of the worst thing that ever happened to her.

This is not true. I'm sure that's not what she sees in you, you have nothing to do with it.
When you think of her thinking about you, don't think about that. You're not the living embodiment of anything at all. You're a human being, with your own life that began Sept 2nd some year, then years and years of life experience, your unique personality, and your ability to love and to receive love. You really have nothing to do with what you're thinking about. Nothing. Zero link. You shouldn't even be in the same sentence.

So the fact that I can call her an actual friend, even if there are some mixed feelings attached to it, is something I'm extremely grateful for.

Yeah, I can imagine. That kind of relationship could have been anything. I'm happy it's positive and that you're surrounded by mostly good people.

But it's really nice to have these pleasant feelings and to have them be uncomplicated, for once in my fucking life.

Hold onto these, my friend. These feelings are what we're fighting for.

 

[Auri]

Edit: and there's the fact she is a particular type of mother, even if not my "real" mother, which leads me to worry that my mom is going to feel like she's being replaced, no matter how many times she tells me she understands and would want to know her bio-family, in my position. But you can add new aunts without replacing the old ones (even though she's technically the oldest one now, lol)

From what I hear, you're definitely not replacing anyone and she seems to understand completely, so all good. No reason to worry. I would want my child to do the same. The more good people who care about you in your life, the merrier, lol.

 

[Gonz]

This is not true. I'm sure that's not what she sees in you, you have nothing to do with it.
When you think of her thinking about you, don't think about that. You're not the living embodiment of anything at all. You're a human being, with your own life that began Sept 2nd some year, then years and years of life experience, your unique personality, and your ability to love and to receive love. You really have nothing to do with what you're thinking about. Nothing. Zero link. You shouldn't even be in the same sentence.


Yeah, I can imagine. That kind of relationship could have been anything. I'm happy it's positive and that you're surrounded by mostly good people.


Hold onto these, my friend. These feelings are what we're fighting for.

I mean, thank you for saying that, but it is true. And even if she doesn't see me that way, that doesn't mean that she wouldn't be justified if she did.

I dunno, I'm kinda reaching a point in my life where I feel like I can maybe stop punishing myself for stuff that was out of my control, but there's also stuff that I'm just never gonna feel okay about either, and I think I have to be able to accept that in order to pursue the things that do make me feel good without any guilt.

 

[Gonz]

Hey, here’s something else I’m looking forward to!

I ordered a pair of these to wear in my ears forever ago, and they were on backorder, just got a message saying they‘re finally being shipped and i’ll get them in a few days. Yay!

 

[Walker]

So, sometime next month I’m buying myself a bass

I used to play bass. Back in another lifetime. Good luck!

 

[Gonz]

I used to play the guitar when I was younger. I wasn’t particularly good, unlike a few guys I knew. Mostly I just wanted to be able to give myself some very basic accompaniment when I sang, which was what I was really into (though not amazing at that either, but marginally better than with the guitar).

Anyway, my anxieties got worse as I got older, so I started getting less and less interested in performing (only ever did a few open-mic nights). And I kinda destroyed my voice with cigarettes (don't fucking start smoking kids, for fucking real). And I didn’t really have the passion for it to keep practicing just for the hell of it. But I did really enjoy just getting lost in a fairly simple rhythm for a while, which would actually make me reasonably well-suited for playing the bass. I mean, I'm never gonna be Flea or Bootsy Collins but, with enough practice, I think I could passably cover Geezer Butler's style in a Sabbath tribute band or something like that.

I’d always considered learning that too, but always felt like I had better things to do with my time and money. But now I have tons of free time, and I found out that Ibanez (a guitar company I liked) makes an acoustic bass that can be found for under a hundred bucks on some websites. At that price, all I have to do is cut my weed consumption just a little bit for a few weeks (wouldn’t even have to quit!) and I can easily afford it.

So, sometime next month I’m buying myself a bass. Looking forward to that.

I dunno, I just figure if I'm gonna be around for another 15-20 years or more, then I may as well try going back to some of the things I enjoyed when I was young and dumb enough to think I might make something of myself before I fucked my life up. And I did like making music, even if it was just for myself by myself.

Which isn’t the say the bass is easier, it’s just that the two instruments require overlapping but still somewhat different skill sets and the part that I’m good (or at least not terrible) at and enjoy most is actually probably better suited to the bass. I’ve known killer lead guitarists who could not stay in a rhythm to save their lives without their drummer and bass player to guide them.

 

[1964dodge]

i think i found a way to go cruising a little bit and getting some fresh air and exercise without violating the stay at home order. and this would work with absolutely no people around except my wife and i except one store she has to go to. i need to escape lol...mike

 

[Innocent Forever]

Spending time with my niece. She actually is cute. Well, I'm not sure if she is or not. But I'm getting to like her.

 

[Innocent Forever]

i think i found a way to go cruising a little bit and getting some fresh air and exercise without violating the stay at home order. and this would work with absolutely no people around except my wife and i except one store she has to go to. i need to escape lol...mike

That's great!

 

[Gonz]

i think i found a way to go cruising a little bit and getting some fresh air and exercise without violating the stay at home order. and this would work with absolutely no people around except my wife and i except one store she has to go to. i need to escape lol...mike

TBH, cruising in a cool classic car like yours seems like one of the most reasonable outside leisure activities you can get into right now. Being in your own car basically guarantees social distancing, and any safe way to get out of the house and stay sane seems like a good idea.

 

[Auri]

I'll be alone at home tomorrow!! Finally!

 

[Ash600]

I'll be alone at home tomorrow!! Finally!

I would say "houseparty" but........

 

[Auri]

I would say "houseparty" but........

You're closer to the truth than you think. lol

 

[Ash600]

You're closer to the truth than you think. lol

 

[Walker]

I'm looking forward to a haircut, tbh

 

[Lane]

I'm looking forward to a haircut, tbh

Lol, it's like the 1970's again.

 

[Sunspots]

It's my neighbours birthday today and I'm looking forward to having a birthday gin and tonic in her front garden later

 

[Walker]

Lol, it's like the 1970's again.

I look like a Beatle! (can't tell ya which one cause then you'll all wanna make out with me and shit *snort*)

 

[Walker]

It's my neighbours birthday today and I'm looking forward to having a birthday gin and tonic in her front garden later

That sounds great, Lucy. (you know, for you)

 

[Butterfly]

I'm looking forward to going on holiday to the peak district with my bf in July.