im very fucking bitter with the asshole reddit moderator who banned me from r/suicidewatch and r/depression just because he left like so. i cant post anyfuckingwhere. i try to post in other subs but i have to be very careful with the fucking language. fucking pieces of shit. im so fucking tired of people
-
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.
Loneliness is literally killing me...
- Thread starter painfully
- Start date
look at this shit... i have been reading reddit posts for the past hour trying to find someone who could understand and one just broke me and made me cry...
"I need advice on how to make my boyfriend feel better about his body after surgery?" The guy basically got fat and is insecure...
This shit... Breaks my heart... Nobody wants me... Nobody would ever love me like that... Its always just YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THIS YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THAT YOU ARE UNLOVABLE
I should just fu cking kill myself
"I need advice on how to make my boyfriend feel better about his body after surgery?" The guy basically got fat and is insecure...
This shit... Breaks my heart... Nobody wants me... Nobody would ever love me like that... Its always just YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THIS YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THAT YOU ARE UNLOVABLE
I should just fu cking kill myself
What is the point of anything...
There is nothing in my life that gives me any kind of joy. Everything is uncomfortable or painful. I have sensitive skin and I hate going outside. I have to take at least 1 shower a day or Ill feel uncomfortable. I dont feel the social need to have friends. I dont care about my family and some of them just made my life worse... And the only thing I need, its impossible.
I live in the apartment where I lived all my life. Luckily alone... Im 36, and this apartment needed renovations already when I was 10... But my father never did shit... And it kept getting worse... I only started working 3 years ago earning shit, so I could never fix anything either... And there is another reason that its long to explain.
I hate living here. I hate the neighbors. I hate the shit walls, the shit floor, the shit furniture... Im very hot now always sweating because its very hot. In winter ill be very cold. Ill use several blankets enough to keep me warm for a bit, then it will make me sweat. And Ill always wake up full of sweat and extremely cold...
I literally cant have hobbies. Nothing ever is just enjoyable. Maybe some rare things I could like, but with a caveat. Its always about fixing or putting in order. Its always something to scratch my mind. Its never just for the joy of it, its to "fix" the game. When all its in order, then its finished... And then Im relieved. Who the fuck feels relieved when stop playing... How can that be even enjoyable.
Then my old car, the only one I had. The aircon cant even keep up with this heat.
Why do I have to keep working my job, where I wont be able to afford a house for at least 20 years, supposing very conservative saving... Why do I have to endure this shit if all I do is suffer...
But everything would be worth it if I at least had someone... Someone to tell all this shit... Someone to cry to... That understood me, that saw my suffering and just wanted to make it less and cuddle me... Someone that would take care of me... But to take care of. Someone to worry about her problems and help her whenever possible... Someone to share this shit life... To see every day, to be just there. Someone to fight for in this shit life...
But I dont have shit. Im pathetic. Nobody would ever want me. I have nothing, therefore I am nothing. And even if I had something, all this dependency and all my shit... Its just too much of a handicap... Nobody can ever want me or my company or my care...
There is no point in enduring this suffering.
There is nothing in my life that gives me any kind of joy. Everything is uncomfortable or painful. I have sensitive skin and I hate going outside. I have to take at least 1 shower a day or Ill feel uncomfortable. I dont feel the social need to have friends. I dont care about my family and some of them just made my life worse... And the only thing I need, its impossible.
I live in the apartment where I lived all my life. Luckily alone... Im 36, and this apartment needed renovations already when I was 10... But my father never did shit... And it kept getting worse... I only started working 3 years ago earning shit, so I could never fix anything either... And there is another reason that its long to explain.
I hate living here. I hate the neighbors. I hate the shit walls, the shit floor, the shit furniture... Im very hot now always sweating because its very hot. In winter ill be very cold. Ill use several blankets enough to keep me warm for a bit, then it will make me sweat. And Ill always wake up full of sweat and extremely cold...
I literally cant have hobbies. Nothing ever is just enjoyable. Maybe some rare things I could like, but with a caveat. Its always about fixing or putting in order. Its always something to scratch my mind. Its never just for the joy of it, its to "fix" the game. When all its in order, then its finished... And then Im relieved. Who the fuck feels relieved when stop playing... How can that be even enjoyable.
Then my old car, the only one I had. The aircon cant even keep up with this heat.
Why do I have to keep working my job, where I wont be able to afford a house for at least 20 years, supposing very conservative saving... Why do I have to endure this shit if all I do is suffer...
But everything would be worth it if I at least had someone... Someone to tell all this shit... Someone to cry to... That understood me, that saw my suffering and just wanted to make it less and cuddle me... Someone that would take care of me... But to take care of. Someone to worry about her problems and help her whenever possible... Someone to share this shit life... To see every day, to be just there. Someone to fight for in this shit life...
But I dont have shit. Im pathetic. Nobody would ever want me. I have nothing, therefore I am nothing. And even if I had something, all this dependency and all my shit... Its just too much of a handicap... Nobody can ever want me or my company or my care...
There is no point in enduring this suffering.
There is no magic pill to solve this shit. However I have one but if advice as someone who does emotionally resonate with how you feel and it many ways at one point was in the same boat.
1. If you can't like yourself you got to do positive things to at least become content with yourself.
Back in the day (I'm talking like 2017-2018) I was very much aimlessly lost in dealing with social awkwardness, status, masculinity all of that. So I decided I would move from my rural area to the biggest city in my state. I also decided to get involved in the then booming night life. It was a lot of nights drinking alone but I got a massive education on how to behave with woman. I didn't get laid but I went from it being a black void of confusion to actually understanding some things
2. Work on shit that challenges you
I was stuck in retail food service hell. I thought ohh this is why I'm not getting laid. Decided to improve my career opportunities and managed to get a job in a warehouse and have basically worked my way up sense. Turns out I only had it partially right ..it's not the status it's capability that people care about. But it took me a decade to find that out
3. Accept that there some things bout you that you cannot change. I'm probably hyper analytical and still socially awkward but my partner loves me regardless of those things because I'm aware of and always challenging those faults in myself.
4. Don't reek bad vibes. I found love when I finally truely gave up the negativity and gave up feeling like I needed to prove something to be valid. I'm valid cause I have survived. And she taught be that I'm valid because that survival means something to her. Sure you have plenty to be depressed about, but drowning in it will keep you where you are.
I wish you the best of luck
1. If you can't like yourself you got to do positive things to at least become content with yourself.
Back in the day (I'm talking like 2017-2018) I was very much aimlessly lost in dealing with social awkwardness, status, masculinity all of that. So I decided I would move from my rural area to the biggest city in my state. I also decided to get involved in the then booming night life. It was a lot of nights drinking alone but I got a massive education on how to behave with woman. I didn't get laid but I went from it being a black void of confusion to actually understanding some things
2. Work on shit that challenges you
I was stuck in retail food service hell. I thought ohh this is why I'm not getting laid. Decided to improve my career opportunities and managed to get a job in a warehouse and have basically worked my way up sense. Turns out I only had it partially right ..it's not the status it's capability that people care about. But it took me a decade to find that out
3. Accept that there some things bout you that you cannot change. I'm probably hyper analytical and still socially awkward but my partner loves me regardless of those things because I'm aware of and always challenging those faults in myself.
4. Don't reek bad vibes. I found love when I finally truely gave up the negativity and gave up feeling like I needed to prove something to be valid. I'm valid cause I have survived. And she taught be that I'm valid because that survival means something to her. Sure you have plenty to be depressed about, but drowning in it will keep you where you are.
I wish you the best of luck
Mulling over the prostitute thing. I get it, seems like a more honest bargain. However it only makes sense when from a place of bitterness. The transactional nature of what dating and relationships can be interpreted like that of prostitution if your assuming the worst of life. But assumption is the mother of all fuck ups and assumption is often projection. Prior experience is a good indication of future experience if your prior experience is accurately understood
Depression makes people feel and do weird shit.
Like I didn't realize till I met the love of my life how woman actually showed interest in something serious. I was blind to it cause sadness made me blind.
Depression makes people feel and do weird shit.
Like I didn't realize till I met the love of my life how woman actually showed interest in something serious. I was blind to it cause sadness made me blind.
im so tired of reading posts of girls loving their bfs... its extremely hurtful...
one says that shes jealous of all the porn actresses that her bf watches
another says that she doesnt understand why women act so entitled with their bfs, that she would let him do her anything bad and would still love him...
another says that her bf left her cause she didnt give him good enough sex...
im so tired... everyone is loved but me... i cant take this shit anymore... nobody gives me a chance... and the few times i talk to someone im discarded immediately i just fucking want to die already...
one says that shes jealous of all the porn actresses that her bf watches
another says that she doesnt understand why women act so entitled with their bfs, that she would let him do her anything bad and would still love him...
another says that her bf left her cause she didnt give him good enough sex...
im so tired... everyone is loved but me... i cant take this shit anymore... nobody gives me a chance... and the few times i talk to someone im discarded immediately i just fucking want to die already...
I was going to leave you to it and not post on your thread because i get the impression you dont want input from others.
However, i do read your posts and just wanted to make a post about something you said above.
Not all these girlfriends will love the people they are with, they might stay with them for lots of reasons.
I knew a women who was with a guy because she liked the sex but complained about everything else.
Also, people will generally complain about their partners/ boyfriends/ girlfriends even if they do love them. This is also normal.
People are complicated.
However, i do read your posts and just wanted to make a post about something you said above.
Not all these girlfriends will love the people they are with, they might stay with them for lots of reasons.
I knew a women who was with a guy because she liked the sex but complained about everything else.
Also, people will generally complain about their partners/ boyfriends/ girlfriends even if they do love them. This is also normal.
People are complicated.
We do want you to feel safe posting on here @painfully. It would help more if you could say why you don't feel safe.
Just want to add that we are still listening but I also have the impression you wanted a space to just vent , which is completely legit
Just want to add that we are still listening but I also have the impression you wanted a space to just vent , which is completely legit
Who is lonely? Who feels the pain? Who are you? Truly you. Not just a concept made up due to body-mind we wittness and identify with daily? Ever consider accepting an attitude "fuck it, I dont care anymore"?
On the other hand, I had periods of painful lonliness and it started physucally hurting. Then in the word of Yoga Jones from Netflix series Orange is New Black "everything is trmporary".
I wish you strenght, clarity of mind, and resolution of all the issues that have been hurting you for so long. I want you to be better. I want you to feel at least some joys I have felt in my temporarynexistance on this planet. I do understand you and think that alot of SFers are wishing you the best and for you to find what you're lookimg for.
On the other hand, I had periods of painful lonliness and it started physucally hurting. Then in the word of Yoga Jones from Netflix series Orange is New Black "everything is trmporary".
I wish you strenght, clarity of mind, and resolution of all the issues that have been hurting you for so long. I want you to be better. I want you to feel at least some joys I have felt in my temporarynexistance on this planet. I do understand you and think that alot of SFers are wishing you the best and for you to find what you're lookimg for.
im so tired of this shit... a girl messaged me in reddit cause she saw a post of mine, very similar to what i write here... we talked very little cause she only entered reddit once a day... at 3rd day i asked if she liked cuddles and blocked me, who knows if because of that or another thing... but she knew who tf she was messaging to...
yesterday too i went to a new chinese prostitute and like the last chinese one she treated me very well... and it just makes me cry, this and the contrast between the two... but they only treat me well because i pay... but the moment the hour passes i have to go away...
im so tired of everyting. i just want to die already... im so lonely....
yesterday too i went to a new chinese prostitute and like the last chinese one she treated me very well... and it just makes me cry, this and the contrast between the two... but they only treat me well because i pay... but the moment the hour passes i have to go away...
im so tired of everyting. i just want to die already... im so lonely....