Losing my apartment

[alice202]

Well here it is. She visited and said she could tell I had done a lot of work. She said I still needed to clean up the rest of the clutter.

And here is the deal with the lease: I am on a the month-to-month lease, and that is for a whole year. I asked if they would give me a year lease when it is cleaned up and she said not until the year is up. I am still month-to-month. It costs more, but the truth is they were probably going to raise my rent anyway.

I guess that also means I am free to move out without worrying about breaking a lease. I can't even think about moving until I get organized. I do think its doable.

I can live with this. I still feel a lot of stress over it, and I still need to spend all my free time cleaning up. But ultimately this may be a good thing. Moving here was kind of awful in the first place and it will be just as bad if I don't get organized.

Thanks SF for being there for me to hold on to.

Alice

 

[SamB]

I’m glad that you can stay, even if it is only on a month by month basis.

You should be proud of yourself for what you have achieved, the first step is always the hardest and you have made that now.

I think you will find that your quality of life will actually improve as you reduce the amount of stuff you have. It will be easy to find things, easier to clean and you will have more space to actually do things in.

Maybe you can make yourself a long term plan about how many boxes you will sort out and resolve per week and keep up a regular schedule of progress?

 

[alice202]

I’m glad that you can stay, even if it is only on a month by month basis.

You should be proud of yourself for what you have achieved, the first step is always the hardest and you have made that now.

I think you will find that your quality of life will actually improve as you reduce the amount of stuff you have. It will be easy to find things, easier to clean and you will have more space to actually do things in.

Maybe you can make yourself a long term plan about how many boxes you will sort out and resolve per week and keep up a regular schedule of progress?

Thanks, Sam. I've been thinking about this. I told our resident manager about getting a storage locker and moving the plastic bins there. The bins are clear so I can see what is in them - and they are fairly organized by the content. The boxes which are still in the apartment are heavier and I feel like I cannot safely carry these down a flight of stairs. I have neuropathy in my feet and its just to much of a falling risk. So I think the next step is to clean up the boxes that are still here. Throw things out, re-organize. But still leave all the bins in storage until after I have worked through the boxes.

I've found it impossible to estimate how much time things will take. But I have a path forward. I have no doubt that this will improve my life. The thing is - its going to be hard to find things for a while. There will be things I want that are in storage. Eventually I will work through it all and life will be better.

Alice

 

[may71]

She visited and said she could tell I had done a lot of work. She said I still needed to clean up the rest of the clutter

At least she didn't say they're going to force you out. Does this mean there will be another inspection?

Whether you move or stay, I hope things will work out.

Hugs Alice

 

[alice202]

At least she didn't say they're going to force you out. Does this mean there will be another inspection?

Whether you move or stay, I hope things will work out.

Hugs Alice

She sounded like they are going to let me stay as long as I keep making progress. Because I took a long vacation I really only had 4 weeks to clean up since the last inspection. So there are two rooms that she wants me to work on before the next inspection. She asked me when and I said - give me a month. So she left it up to me.

I hope she doesn't want to keep doing this. She told me that they had stopped doing inspections 10 years ago and she wasn't happy about starting up again because it takes a lot of her time. So I am hoping one more time does it. She's not my social worker, although it kind of feels like that. I was fairly open with her about needing to think through finding a place for everything. In the last week I've ordered 3 pieces of furniture - one for kitchen stuff, one for clothes, and another for garden equipment. I've also bought some closet organizing stuff. That's going to help get things out of boxes.

I also have many boxes of books. They are old books from my life as a student that I am probably never going to read again. I found a website where you can check if the book has any sale value - and if it does they will buy it from you and pay the cost of shipping. This is awesome. Hopefully I can find a way to recycle the rest. It pains me to throw books in the garbage.

So there are a lot of things to work on. In the meantime I still have the storage locker.

I do look at listings for houses for rent. I would love to rent a small house with a backyard for my dog. But I don't want to pay more than I am now. And I don't want to get into a situation where I have more space. Several years ago I rented the first floor of a house and it came with a huge basement. That's an easy way to accumulate too much stuff because you always have more room. I've been cluttered ever since I left there.

Thanks for your support Mr May. You're terrific.

 

[SamB]

I can understand why you don’t want to throw things out that have value, the way I do it is to remind myself that an items value is the benefit it brings to the owner. Having those things is actually taking up space and making your life harder so their value to you is actually negative. If you can’t sell them or give them away to someone else then the best place for them is the garbage.
It’s a hard and brutal process but of all the things I’ve thrown out I have almost never ever wished for an item back.

 

[may71]

She's not my social worker, although it kind of feels like that

The whole process sounds really invasive.

I would love to rent a small house with a backyard for my dog

That would be nice if you could find one that's affordable.

Thanks

You're welcome!

 

[alice202]

So... yesterday the person from the landlord's office came over for another inspection. She said I was making progress and that she would not need to do another inspection until the spring of next year, when they decide whether or not to give me a lease.

I'm glad she's stopping, because I hate it. For the last 2 weeks I've done nothing but clean and organize my apartment. Its to the point where I can't enjoy doing anything else because there is so much pressure on me. The thing is, the task of getting organized and the task of passing inspections is really not the same. For me getting organized means going through everything in a container, deciding whether to keep it or toss it, and finding it a permanent home if I'm tossing it. It's exhausting, and there's only so much I can do before I feel totally burned out.

Getting things out of the way means throwing it in my car and driving it to the storage unit, knowing that I will have to bring it back and sort through it. Its like I am making more work for myself.

I am sick of being judged. I don't think this lady really likes it either, but its her job.

While I've made a lot of progress, I am still amazed at how much there is left to do.

There really is nobody to help me, I'm on my own. I do have one person I've told about it, but I'm pretty careful. I don't want to be known to my neighbors as a hoarder. There's a lot of shame that goes with this.

I did hear recently that cluttering/hoarding can be a result of narcissistic abuse. That fits perfectly. I've always known it wasn't about OCD. At ;east not for me.


Alice

 

[SamB]

That’s good news, I’m glad there is a chink of light at the end of the tunnel.
Hoarding is a lot more common than people think, there are all sorts of reasons for it, if you can try to figure out yours it should help you to address the cause as well as just the symptoms.
Hopefully, you can relax a little now and be more efficient in your decluttering.
Keep up the good work and keep us updated on how things are going.

 

[Survivorist]

Congrats. You did a lot of work and I personally am proud of you.

Want to go a step further - just to minimize: https://www.simplyfiercely.com/minimalist-home/

 

[1000Gorillaonmyback]

Sorry that happened.
I lost my job after 25 years and have been struggling for over a year to find another job. I lost my apartment in April this year. I've lost everything. I live in my car now and my phone is all I have, but my insurance runs out at the end of August so I will end up with nothing.Believe it or not there are others that have lost more.

 

[AvidFan]

Sorry that happened.
I lost my job after 25 years and have been struggling for over a year to find another job. I lost my apartment in April this year. I've lost everything. I live in my car now and my phone is all I have, but my insurance runs out at the end of August so I will end up with nothing.Believe it or not there are others that have lost more.

I am so sorry to hear of everything you have lost. I am in a precarious situation currently but am never far from this scenario, I could easily end up in your situation which causes me a lot of anxiety (I don't even have a car though so I don't know what I'd do). I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope you can find another job or something changes for the better for you. I wish I could say more to help.

 

[alice202]

So last week I got a notice that there is going to be another inspection of my apartment. She said they are inspecting everyone's apartment over the course of 3 days.

This will be my 4th inspection this year.

I do have a storage locker, and have been slowly moving things back to the apartment so I could sort through them a little at a time. Well to them that will just look like clutter, so I have made 5-6 trips back to the storage locker. Its really frustrating because it interrupts my process and makes it harder for me to find things. All that really matters is keeping clutter out of sight - at least to the powers that be.

I have made some progress this year, but not enough. And now it feels like I'm going back to the beginning again. I hate that a landlord has so much power to disrupt my life, but that is the way it is.

Alice

 

[may71]

Do they really have a right to take some action against your for clutter? It seems like the only things that would be their business would be things like mold, infestations, or things like that that would either damage the apartment or cause problems for your neighbors. Four inspections in a year also seems really excessive.

I hope things will work out ok.

Hugs

 

[alice202]

Thanks. The lease wording is pretty vague, so I would say its their call. Yes, they can evict anyone anytime they want to with sixty days notice. I don't think the people coming include the lady who has been here before.

The silver lining is they asked me to lock my dog in a bedroom. So I can put stuff in there and they wont see it. Unless they want to get bitten. They are coming today, and I am so stressed out.

Thanks for your support MrMay

Alice

 

[alice202]

So they came and went already. It took me a few minutes to catch my dog and herd him into the bedroom. He is a herder and does not like to be herded!

So I asked the guy (just one person) why they were doing the inspection and he said it was for estimating their finances. He asked me if anything was broken and I said no. I asked if I was going to be kicked out because I'm messy and he said no, you're fine. He complimented me on my plants.

I think they could have done this over the phone.

One thing I know of - there is one building which is sort of on a slant, and as it sinks, walls are separating and cold are is coming in. I think they will have to move those tenants to fix it. My building is adjacent to it, so maybe they just want to see for themselves.

So I survived.

I feel like I have to be more prepared for this to happen again. I don't think I will get a lease without an inspection. So there's always this bit of uncertainty.

alice