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Love is not real
- Thread starter diseased
- Start date
Thanks for posting above - well written.
I have to say that I don't think that I have experienced this kind of love.
I don't think love is an illusion. What you feel is real, regardless of the circumstances.
However, I think it is a delusion. We delude ourselves about our beloved, ascribing feelings and qualities to them that they simply do not have.
I was in love with someone who led me to believe they felt something for me. It was a big laugh to him. I was played for a fool. Yes it hurts, yes I will get over the hurt.
I don't think the love I feel for him is an illusion. I really feel it, still. However I was delusional about him, deluded myself about who and what he was, when looking back it should have been obvious.
Anyway - good luck to all the lovers. Illusion/delusion/ whatever - it is still wonderful to have those warm and tender feelings for someone.
I have to say that I don't think that I have experienced this kind of love.
I don't think love is an illusion. What you feel is real, regardless of the circumstances.
However, I think it is a delusion. We delude ourselves about our beloved, ascribing feelings and qualities to them that they simply do not have.
I was in love with someone who led me to believe they felt something for me. It was a big laugh to him. I was played for a fool. Yes it hurts, yes I will get over the hurt.
I don't think the love I feel for him is an illusion. I really feel it, still. However I was delusional about him, deluded myself about who and what he was, when looking back it should have been obvious.
Anyway - good luck to all the lovers. Illusion/delusion/ whatever - it is still wonderful to have those warm and tender feelings for someone.
Thanks 
In my opinion, romantic comedies have ruined people's perception of true love. It's not all flowers and sunshine. Sometimes it's somebody who will rub your back while you puke out of a car window and then tell you how pretty your eyes look post-vomit It is being able to see the flaws in someone and still love them anyway.
One of my favorite Shakespearean sonnets starts with "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun, coral is FAR more red than her lips..."etc. It is a poem about a man who sees all the flaws in his lover and believes his love to be even MORE genuine because of his ability to do so while still loving her, as opposed to simply ignoring her flaws and putting her up on a pedestal.
Also, love is an ACTION, not just a feeling. Anyone can SAY that they love you, but what do they do on a daily basis to show it?
In my opinion, romantic comedies have ruined people's perception of true love. It's not all flowers and sunshine. Sometimes it's somebody who will rub your back while you puke out of a car window and then tell you how pretty your eyes look post-vomit
It is being able to see the flaws in someone and still love them anyway.One of my favorite Shakespearean sonnets starts with "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun, coral is FAR more red than her lips..."etc. It is a poem about a man who sees all the flaws in his lover and believes his love to be even MORE genuine because of his ability to do so while still loving her, as opposed to simply ignoring her flaws and putting her up on a pedestal.
Also, love is an ACTION, not just a feeling. Anyone can SAY that they love you, but what do they do on a daily basis to show it?
Sometimes it's somebody who will rub your back while you puke out of a car window and then tell you how pretty your eyes look post-vomit
If somebody told me I looked good after having just barfed, I'd think they were a serious kook who has indeed placed me on a pedestal.... or is just telling me that because they think my ego is as fragile as most females (i.e. having to be told I look booootiful..... ALL THE TIME). :rolleyes:
Wrong, wrong, wrong. My eyes do actually look prettier after I vomit, been told so by more than one person (male and female) and seen it for myself Somehow they always look more green after I sick up. The point is that instead of being disgusted by my wretching, these people actually were able to see past my vomit-soaked clothes and had something genuinely sweet to say about me even when I was at my worst.
Somehow they always look more green after I sick up. The point is that instead of being disgusted by my wretching, these people actually were able to see past my vomit-soaked clothes and had something genuinely sweet to say about me even when I was at my worst.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. My eyes do actually look prettier after I vomit, been told so by more than one person (male and female) and seen it for myself
:dry: Point proven.
What the hell are you even talking about? Everyone does NOT think like you, and I never said looks don't matter at ALL, just that most people don't see someone without a tan and run the other way. My point was that someone who loves you should be able to look past certain flaws and see something beautiful, be it physical, intellectual, spiritual or emotional. Being able to see another's flaws and having those flaws pale in comparison to the things you love about that person is the key. Criminey.
Love IS real!
But, the catch is it doesn't last! It's been proven on various occassions the chemicals which react in your brain causing love cease to do so after about 3 years.
So while you can continue to really like someone, you will never feel the same way you did about them in the first year of the relationship when 'true love' was at work.
Love is an evolutionary response. What else could be powerful enough for men to give up most of their paychecks? Or for a woman to keep going back to an abusive relationship? It goes against all logic for individual satisfaction. Only something as powerful as love could allow us to make such (seemingly stupid) sacrifices, and therefore allow the human race to continue growing.
But, the catch is it doesn't last! It's been proven on various occassions the chemicals which react in your brain causing love cease to do so after about 3 years.
So while you can continue to really like someone, you will never feel the same way you did about them in the first year of the relationship when 'true love' was at work.
Love is an evolutionary response. What else could be powerful enough for men to give up most of their paychecks? Or for a woman to keep going back to an abusive relationship? It goes against all logic for individual satisfaction. Only something as powerful as love could allow us to make such (seemingly stupid) sacrifices, and therefore allow the human race to continue growing.
F
Love & "Imperfections"...
From the movie Good Will Hunting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WAylnO5gtA&feature=related
From the movie Good Will Hunting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WAylnO5gtA&feature=related
Love is real but it's not everything and certainly not enough to keep a relationship going. Love can last a life time. I've been told so by my grandparents who stayed together. love has a way of changing and growing if you nurture it right and keep it alive. it's not always the mushy, romance you see in the movies and yes sometimes the flame needs stoking. True love is a lot more than an emotion. It's devotion, commitment, effort, sacrifice, listening, working together....so many things. Or so I view it.
G
what's reality?
the love i feel is really really very painful at times.
reality doesn't need to be painful all the time. reality can also be amazing.
everyone is alone. that doesn't mean one has to be in pain. with love you're alone but with someone, you're sharing something. but you're still alone. everyone is . it's in the sharing and in intimacy you get the feeling of connection and meaning which has an effect on you personally, how you go about life, alone. everyone is alone.
'escapes' can be very real. they can teach you a lot. what one could say is an 'escape,' another could say is a lesson. it depends on how you receive, how you respond to what you're given. how you respond to a situation.
i don't think love is an escape. i really hate that word. it's a bit like saying my floating is an 'escape' or that my psychosis is an 'escape' but it means the world to me. it has huge meaning to me.
the love that i'm going through is as if i'm eventually waking up from years of being like the walking dead, and it's painful. so maybe i'm waking up to a different reality. one where someone actually loves me enough to stick around reading my upsetting words and still communicates with me and still shares his personal, intimate, painful very real and valid feelings with me.
the love i feel is really really very painful at times.
reality doesn't need to be painful all the time. reality can also be amazing.
everyone is alone. that doesn't mean one has to be in pain. with love you're alone but with someone, you're sharing something. but you're still alone. everyone is . it's in the sharing and in intimacy you get the feeling of connection and meaning which has an effect on you personally, how you go about life, alone. everyone is alone.
'escapes' can be very real. they can teach you a lot. what one could say is an 'escape,' another could say is a lesson. it depends on how you receive, how you respond to what you're given. how you respond to a situation.
i don't think love is an escape. i really hate that word. it's a bit like saying my floating is an 'escape' or that my psychosis is an 'escape' but it means the world to me. it has huge meaning to me.
the love that i'm going through is as if i'm eventually waking up from years of being like the walking dead, and it's painful. so maybe i'm waking up to a different reality. one where someone actually loves me enough to stick around reading my upsetting words and still communicates with me and still shares his personal, intimate, painful very real and valid feelings with me.