I have posted here before because I was in college and this seemed like the most appropriate thread. Since my last post, i have somehow managed to finish my final year of college. and exam results came out two weeks ago and i passed 
so thats a relief. However although the exam results have been positive, I have been struggling with a new aspect of my life: work. I am still very much in the mentality of 'I'm a college student' and Ive been finding it hard to adjust to a full time job straight after college. When I was in college i had 10 hours a week and tbh i only went to about 1-2 of those hours. To change from that relatively sedentary lifestyle to 40 hours a week now is a bit change. And I can't help but wonder maybe i made a mistake jumping straight into full time work. Maybe it would have been better to start with part time and work from there. I was actually offered a part time job before but i turned it down thinking it wasn't enough money. but maybe it was the better option and i feel stupid to not have seen these issues coming. I had trouble getting up and with time management for college its normal to expect at least a certain degree of that when transitioning to work.
I got really upset the last day i went to work over a coworker getting annoyed with me. i let it affect me and i kept having to run to the bathroom to calm down because i was getting so anxious. since then i have not gone back into work. what started as an injured ego and self esteem snowballed into anxiety and avoidance. i just felt like i couldn't cope with work or going in. as of two weeks ago when i missed a phonemail for a counsellor I was told i was put back on the waiting list and it wouldn't be too long. however it has been almost three weeks since then and still no response. I have taken up to look for a different possibly more expensive counselling service in the hopes that i can be seen sooner. i just miss having somebody to talk to. i might give them a call today to ask because theres been no response to my email that i sent.
I am also not settling into my new home. after college finished we all had to move out of our student rooms. i found a new place to live and while I'm happy with the house, room and the area, i am not getting along well with my housemates and i have a lot of anxiety when they are around. last sunday i stayed in my room till 6pm because i was too anxious to leave my room and see them. i didn't think i could do basic things like do my laundry or wash my hair. but i finally went out after 6 and I'm glad i did because i had lots of things to do and i already wasted so much of the day. i am trying to fight the anxiety and trying to be around when my housemates are at home. but its hard and this week i spent a lot of time hanging around in town just so i dint have to go home and see them. i sat on the bus for hours just going around the city to pass time. i didn't have this much anxiety with my student accommodation back in college but i think i got lucky with flatmates then as we were all fairly quiet. in this house people hang around the communal areas more and it makes me anxious. one person in particular keeps watching tv whenever she's home. but i will try settle into place. maybe its just taking more time
i need to get a doctors note tomorrow from the doctor so i hope they give me one. i don't know if they will refuse because i already got one last week and maybe they'll say why do u keep needing them. but its because i missed more work this week so need a note to cover those days.
so thats a relief. However although the exam results have been positive, I have been struggling with a new aspect of my life: work. I am still very much in the mentality of 'I'm a college student' and Ive been finding it hard to adjust to a full time job straight after college. When I was in college i had 10 hours a week and tbh i only went to about 1-2 of those hours. To change from that relatively sedentary lifestyle to 40 hours a week now is a bit change. And I can't help but wonder maybe i made a mistake jumping straight into full time work. Maybe it would have been better to start with part time and work from there. I was actually offered a part time job before but i turned it down thinking it wasn't enough money. but maybe it was the better option and i feel stupid to not have seen these issues coming. I had trouble getting up and with time management for college its normal to expect at least a certain degree of that when transitioning to work.I got really upset the last day i went to work over a coworker getting annoyed with me. i let it affect me and i kept having to run to the bathroom to calm down because i was getting so anxious. since then i have not gone back into work. what started as an injured ego and self esteem snowballed into anxiety and avoidance. i just felt like i couldn't cope with work or going in. as of two weeks ago when i missed a phonemail for a counsellor I was told i was put back on the waiting list and it wouldn't be too long. however it has been almost three weeks since then and still no response. I have taken up to look for a different possibly more expensive counselling service in the hopes that i can be seen sooner. i just miss having somebody to talk to. i might give them a call today to ask because theres been no response to my email that i sent.
I am also not settling into my new home. after college finished we all had to move out of our student rooms. i found a new place to live and while I'm happy with the house, room and the area, i am not getting along well with my housemates and i have a lot of anxiety when they are around. last sunday i stayed in my room till 6pm because i was too anxious to leave my room and see them. i didn't think i could do basic things like do my laundry or wash my hair. but i finally went out after 6 and I'm glad i did because i had lots of things to do and i already wasted so much of the day. i am trying to fight the anxiety and trying to be around when my housemates are at home. but its hard and this week i spent a lot of time hanging around in town just so i dint have to go home and see them. i sat on the bus for hours just going around the city to pass time. i didn't have this much anxiety with my student accommodation back in college but i think i got lucky with flatmates then as we were all fairly quiet. in this house people hang around the communal areas more and it makes me anxious. one person in particular keeps watching tv whenever she's home. but i will try settle into place. maybe its just taking more time
i need to get a doctors note tomorrow from the doctor so i hope they give me one. i don't know if they will refuse because i already got one last week and maybe they'll say why do u keep needing them. but its because i missed more work this week so need a note to cover those days.
