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Memories of Those Lost but Still Loved

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by SillyOldBear, Dec 5, 2015.

  1. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    I remember being able to laugh with him about everything. My dad. I got my sense of humour from him.. :p
    I remember that stupid potato launcher. lol. he made me help him build just so he could launch a ham radio wire-antenna up into the tree.
    for better reception.. stick the wire in the potato, pour the alcohol in it and poof! and we had to face the opposite way of all the cars in parking lot
    because we didnt want to knock out their windows lol. Also going to movies. And feeding bluejays, and chipmunks with that big bag of
    peanuts. And fires at night looking at the stars and talking about the constellations and their stories..
    We would get potato soup at Dennys on Wednesdays because it was cheap and he was addicted to it..
    it was pretty good.. .
  2. Feeling Empty

    Feeling Empty New Member

    My mum. Passed away 24 Sept 2008. I was nine.

    She would always sing this one song to me;

    Her eyes, they shone like diamonds
    you think she was the queen of the land
    and her hair flung over her shoulders
    wrapped up in a black velvet band.

    I can think of nothing better that perfectly describes her like this song.
  3. Brethil

    Brethil Grieving Angel Mom

    My precious son, 16, full of life and a ticking time bomb of a heart.

    Its hard to write memories. That 6' young man and the baby in my arms are seamless. A beautiful blessing. In every minute of his life.
    I guess that sums it up.
    Love you, Matthew.
  4. nobodyknows71

    nobodyknows71 Forum Pro SF Supporter

    My great aunt died 10 Feb 2017 aged 98.

    I'm at my aunts house waiting for people to come and collect the hospital bed she was using for the last few months of her life. I'm here alone and just waiting....

    It's sad to be here without her and my uncle. I feel like an intruder, like I shouldn't be here without them. This is their house, not somewhere I should be alone. I'm sitting in the kitchen looking around at... not a lot really. It's a pretty bare house. Not much to show for 98 years on the planet. It feels like a lonely house. Like it hasn't seen much happiness and laughter in a long time, it's so very quiet.

    It's a lovely sunny warm day, the daffodils are in bloom in the garden.

    But she's not here to see them.

    She loved her garden. I remember playing out there as a kid with my uncle, picking apples off the tree and blackberries off the bush that went the whole length of the fence.

    The apple tree is no longer here. The blackberry bush has gone too.

    I remember him tinkering with his car in the garage, and her chastising him for being dirty. 'Don't you bring that mess into my kitchen!'. He would always smudge my nose with grease.

    The garage is now empty, the car long gone.

    The kitchen cupboards still have food in them, food she will no longer get to eat. The plates in the cupboards are the plates I remember eating off as a child. 40 years later, the same plates.

    A lava lamp in the front room, an original lava lamp. It's been here since I can remember. She always put it on for me to look at, I would watch in awe as the bubbles of red would just move around on their own.

    I can't bring myself to put it on.

    It doesn't feel right.

    Nothing feels right.

    It all feels so wrong.
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I miss you E. We went to the huge fall fair. You were always so good with animals, and I remember that you went to pet a big horse's nose. I was too scared to try. And then the darn thing decided to chomp on your fingers when you didn't have a carrot. Ouch - and you laughed, and moved on to pet the next horse's nose, not in the least "once bitten twice shy"! I also remember that day how you were so happy and excited to be there. You turned and said to me, "We'll always have today - the day we went to the fair!"

    Thank you, E. for being a special person, who offered the world gentleness and love and love of animals. I will always have that day when I went to the fair with my friend, E.
  6. WatchingPlanesFlyBy

    WatchingPlanesFlyBy Captain of the Catwalk

    It's been two decades since I lost my brother Julian to Cystic Fibrosis.

    As children we were very close, we did everything together. He was my little buddy and confidante. In a way he was my conscience. He always knew the right things to say and do. A sweet, darling kid with no evil in him.

    I used to tease him on account of his condition, nothing malicious or cruel. How was I to understand he was terminally ill? I'd challenge him to races and he never backed down regardless of the outcome. He's come up second, hacking and wheezing. But he always said it was good for him to 'cough up the sickness.'

    Seeing him hooked up to that nebulizer every day humbles you. One minute you're both wrestling or watching Animaniacs, the next he's coughing up phlegm and then mom or dad hooks him up to that little mask. I'd keep him company with a Calvin and Hobbes book while he sat there, inhaling medication.

    To this day I still ponder why he was sick and I wasn't. He was smarter, more charismatic, better person than me. No that is not survivors guilt talking, it's the truth. What reason did I have to be healthy and not him? If I were him I would have been very angry, probably grow up into a cynic with a chip on both shoulders. I would have grown up into a literal victim, blaming my problems on everyone and everything.

    But not him. He wasn't the bitter type. He understood he was ill but he NEVER gave up. He was going to live his life to the fullest.

    And he did.

    Even now all these years later the pain remains. It's a heaviness you cannot remove. It sits on your chest every day of the year. Sometimes the weight slacks and you can breath, other times you're suffocating.

    Then I remember the good times we laughed and played. Those memories outweigh the pain.

    Home is where the Lord sends you Julian.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 19, 2017
  7. April06

    April06 Active Member

    My Kevvy Wevvy... My Hero my soulmate, my bestest friend....My brother...
    I lost my brother a few yrs ago...he sadly committed suicide but there's not one single day that passes that I do t feel the luckiest likkle sister in the world to av had the privilege to av shared so many fantastic memories with him...He sure was a character...One ov my best memories was when he was around 11yrs old n I would've been around 9/10 yrs old.
    I had been on Santa's case for a pram for me dolly...Well this yr ..I got one n it was perfect...but not for long...I ran upstairs to fetch Dolly n on way down again I could hear all this screaming n shouting outside so I ran out n well theirs Kevvy with me pram wheels ...he'd dismantled my pram so he could make a go cart... I was gutted...Oh n then he decided to put me doll in the oven...Hehehe...Miss u So much KeV...RIPxxx
  8. JacsMom

    JacsMom Staff Alumni

    I lost my daughter, Jaclyn, 18 years ago. She was hit by a car while she was walking. Tomorrow is her birthday and I am missing her terribly. This is one pain that never truly goes away. But she was a great kid. I don't just say this being her mom, it really is true. After her passing, I was told many stories by her friends and teachers At her funeral, one of her teachers told of how a boy was being bullied at school by some other boys. My daughter put a stop to it. She never came home and told me about it, nor bragged that she had done this. It was just something she knew was right. I cried when I heard the tale. It showed me what a caring person she was and that she knew the difference between right and wrong.

    One of the funniest stories I remember occurred when she was about 7 years old and just learning to read. We were in the checkout line at a store and she started tugging at my sleeve. I asked her what the matter was. She pointed to the chocolate bars on sale by the cashier, and asked me, "Mom, why is that chocolate bar called Big Turd?" (it's really called Big Turk) The cashier heard and she and I laughed till we cried.

    All I have left of her are these memories. But they are memories that keep her close to me and always will.
  9. Brethil

    Brethil Grieving Angel Mom

    Xoxox JacsMom. Thats such a cute story about the candy bar.
    Your girl sounds like my boy. We were ... are .... blessed. Why losing them is so gutting.
    JacsMom and April06 like this.
  10. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    I will always remember the day my dad made the tuna sandwich. He complained that mom's were too lumpy, so he threw everything in a blender. It poured out. Like a diarrhea sandwich. He had to eat it. But he never made it again.
  11. Magree

    Magree Well-Known Member

    My precious dad used to sing scarlet ribbons to me and my wee sister.
    When he passed away 4 years ago I wrapped a scarlet ribbon round his hand to tie in my wee sisters hair when he met her on the other side. I lost her 14 years ago.
    To this day I have ribbons wrapped round a coal miner ornament he gave me when he was made redundant from the coal mines.
    Some days it makes me smile but today they ribbons remind me of what I have lost.
    He didn't live to be a 100 like in the song but I still tie scarlet ribbons in my hair x
    Were all together and CGMAngel like this.
  12. Candy057

    Candy057 SF Supporter

    My brother, my best friend..
    All the memories and secrets forever engrained in me..
    He accepted me unconditionally, just like I always accepted him. He understood me in ways that I may never find again in another person.

    The way he would tell everyone "my sister Candy," and everyone would get confused because they would know me by my real name, and not the nickname he gave me.
    And how he would say "Your the only one who understands me, the only one who cares. And your my only real family member", because he felt rejected by mostly everyone.

    I hope you finally found the happiness you were looking for.

    miss you every day for the rest of eternity <3
    Were all together likes this.
  13. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    Am not into fireworks myself. Nice memory to cherish thou
  14. EmB

    EmB Well-Known Member

    @charite77 I thought maybe you could write something about Albert here. There are some nice memories here, and I thought it might be a nice idea if you had something to add about him.

    Sending hugs

    Were all together and charite77 like this.
  15. charite77

    charite77 Member

    Thank you.
    EmB likes this.
  16. charite77

    charite77 Member

    My boyfriend Albert died on december 23, 2016.
    He is the best person that I knew in my life and he is the person who made the most for me in my life.
    I love him enormously for eternity.
    Our love in eternal.
    We love each other and we are boyfriends for eternity.
    In Heaven, we will be married for eternity.
    Without him, I am sad and depressed in this crual and stupid world.
    Were all together and EmB like this.
  17. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    Today is/was my little sisters birthday. She'd of been 46yrs old today. Sadly, she passed away 34yrs ago in July. She was hit by a car 7wks before she'd of turned 12.

    Her and I shared a room, and always got in trouble together. We walked to school, and got ready for it together, too. She had an amazing love for both animals and kids much younger than her. She loved to dote on our little cousin 8yrs here Jr.

    I'll never forget the time her and I were in the bathroom finishing up getting ready to go to school. She was brushing her hair, and I, my teeth. All of a sudden she had a case of the wind that literally went 'bow wow wow wow'. Her and I laughed so hard we couldn't breathe. Probably not a memory she'd prefer I share, but it still makes me smile when I think about it. (Sorry, sis, but had to share it. What are big sis' for? ;) )

    There were so many nights after we went to bed her and I would quietly talk and giggle all while eagerly listening for our mom. We'd shut up as soon as we heard her coming, then would quickly get back to giggling and talking once the coast was clear. We built forts together in our room, too. That was one of our favorite things to do.

    I miss you Edith Christine!!! Thanks for having been a great little sis!!! Much luv!!!
    Were all together and CGMAngel like this.
  18. justrob

    justrob Keep on keeping on.

    I am sorry for your loss and glad you shared with us.
    betteroffunknown likes this.
  19. ashleyneedshope29

    ashleyneedshope29 Well-Known Member

    Hi I was verry close to my grandmother and I have two fond memories of her. 1. I used to stick my younger out at her and make funny faces and she would always laugh and stick her toung out at me I just loved it. 2. I used to give her kisses all over her face and she would just crack up and that would make me laugh. I love you memo and will never forget our memories together.
    Were all together likes this.
  20. justrob

    justrob Keep on keeping on.

    My childhood friend passed away several years ago. I went to the arcade yesterday and was able to play his favorite game Galaga.