Memories of Those Lost but Still Loved

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by SillyOldBear, Dec 5, 2015.

  1. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I hope this thread will encourage people to share fond memories of those who have passed. I know memories like these help me keep my loved ones alive in my heart.

    My dad was never very fond of fire works. Not the kind you could buy at a fireworks stand at a grocery store parking lot every Fourth of July. They were noisy, a fire hazard, and mostly, a BIG waste of money. So when we would ask for money to buy some he always said no. But one year was different. He gave me some money and I went and bought some. He was so disappointed in the amount that money bought, that he gave me more money to get even more. When I came home, he still wasn't satisfied. So armed with additional cash from Dad, I went again. Upon my return he still wasn't happy, so he went himself. He came back with about a dozen spin wheels. Then he cleverly mounted them on a board so that when you set one off, it would revolved and set the next one off, which would set the next one off and so on. It was pretty darn amazing for some backyard fireworks. I will never know what prompted him to spend so much money that year. He never did it again. But it created a memory that I will always cherish.
     
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  2. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    A nice thread indeed, definitely one I hope to see a lot of people adding to - good call. :)

    I will not post anything about my mum (not out of disrespect, but simply because it is just too soon to speak of her in the past tense), although I do remember with my pop, he used to do a lot of travelling between England, Singapore, Indonesia, New Zealand and all over Australia after he got out fo the army after WWII and his love of travel inspired inspired his passion of birds and nature, so it is no big durprise that he was a bird lover and used to have a large aviary down the back of his yard, filled with birds of all kinds from budgies, kiwis, gallahs, cockatoos, peach faces, etc until he could no longer keep any due of his age and deteriorating health.
    Anyway, as a child, I used to love going around to his house whenever we used to visit, because I would always run down to the aviary and make him open the door so that I could walk inside and just sit down on the floor and close my eyes, with the sounds of bird calls surrounding me (and in the case of the budgies, land and walk all over me). Those moments were some of the best of my childhood and I like to think, played one of the a factors in me choosing to work in my current occupation and breeding and raising a large variety of birds of my own in my early adult life, although it is sadly something I am unable to do now.
    Still, my pop is a big reason I love travelling myself and birds in particular, so here's to you, pop, for such a wonderful and prized memory and lifestyle I live!
     
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    A family friend, who was a few years older than me. I remember being in the boat and watching you water ski. Our families use to spend time together at the lake. I remember watching you kayak across the lake, wow you were fast. I remember playing with you in your tree house and going down your zipline. I remember how you were a great piano player. I use to love seeing you and your parents at Christmas because when we were little your dad would take us in his van to go see all the lights and Christmas decorations around town. I will forever cherish these childhood memories.
     
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  4. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    Melodie. The love of my life,my will, my best friend. My fiancée. She was taken long before her time. But I know there was reasonings for her death. 18 years ago this last February she was ripped away from me and her family.. I know this is supposed to be good memories. She is my guardian angel these days. I memorialise her by figjhting to stay alive cos I know thàts what she would want....
     
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  5. Claudia Lauw

    Claudia Lauw Member

    My beloved spouse, he died from cancer last year. I still love him just as much as I can love and missing him more like I'd ever missed anything before. He died in my arms...
    life's so cruel without him and it really is unbearable. I wish I could meet him soon
     
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, welcome to the forum. I am sorry for you loss and the way he was taken. Dealing with bereavement is emotionally draining especially where you cared for one another. They say time is a great healer but sometimes the little thing you do reminds you of him. Ok life is unbearable and you miss him so much but in your heart of hearts he would not like to see you down but continue to live your life. The nice memories you have of your spouse will forever be with you and he would like to see you hurting alone. Just think he watching over you and cared about a lot.m

    I know it's easy to say to be strong but the difficult in practice. Have you seeker medical advice or bereavement conselling.

    Please reconsider any plans you may have as on this forum cares about YOU.
     
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  7. Claudia Lauw

    Claudia Lauw Member

    I know that he wanted me to keep on living. but how?
    I'm writing on a thread now, I will let you guys know my whole story and I'd love to hear your two cents... I really need help now. I'm afraid I'd really kill myself one of these days. It's not the death that I'm afraid of, but it's my suicide intent that's getting stronger day by day.
     
  8. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Claudia, have you considered consulting a grief counsellor?
     
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  9. Claudia Lauw

    Claudia Lauw Member

    I would need one I think, but it's not only the grieve of losing him that makes me wanna die. there's still so much more. and I dont think I'd be able to handle it anymore
     
  10. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Yes, there is more then grief of losing him. But help dealing with that is a good place to start. I hope you will look into it.
     
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  11. kwind4444

    kwind4444 New Member

    This is going to sound quite distant, but she was still a person.(The memory wasn't necessarily about her, it's more like a memento that links to her)
    She was my grandma's coworker's mom.(yeah) I was playing with her 2 grandchildren about my age(grandma's coworker's children) at an amusement park. We we're having a blast. There was this one ride, and it was like someone had flipped a carousel on its side, and made it go 3x as fast. The seat was enough for 3, so we all sat down and the ride started. But it was spinning so fast that we were pretty much crushing *Zach. We couldn't stop laughing.
    After the amusement park, we took the boys home. And they invited me in for a second. Gary's mom was sitting on a couch(the coworker is gary), and she was connected to an IV Drip. She had lost all of her hair to kemotherapy. But she still looked beautiful.
    Sadly, she passed 2 weeks after. But she was a very nice lady, and I cried.
     
  12. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member

    My paternal Grandmother. After her death of breast and colon cancer in 2003. She was an Earth Angel now she is a True Angel in Spirit now) She was one of those human beings you just felt privileged to even meet, let alone be her grandchild (plus being a grand-daughter made me ultra privileged to be related!). Her spirit keeps me going. Diane Lucy...I was soooooo lucky and fortunate to be born when I was to have met her and understand there are some good people/or were who keep good alive.
     
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  13. Stiv

    Stiv Member

    My mother passed away from of lung cancer on November 26, 2015.
    Just this week, I was talking to my therapist about Jeopardy. Yes, the game show. After a while he said "wow, it sounds like you have watched a LOT of Jeopardy" and I said "Yeah, my mom watched it every day. I watched it for as long as I can remember. I remember being four years old and watching it with her after my bath. One time, she only saw the final jeopardy category and sarcastically blurted out a related answer. It turned out to be the correct final jeopardy answer, which none of the contestants got." My therapist pointed out that this was a very nice memory.

    Another thing I will always remember is dragging a chair up to a cabinet in the kitchen to kneel up on the counter and look at all the trinkets she kept in there, mostly unicorn figurines. When I was 9 or so my elementary school's holiday shop had this figurine of a mother and child alicorn (winged unicorns) pair sitting in the grass together and I absolutely lost my mind and spent all the money I was given on it, thinking I was getting her the best present EVER, and I'm still confident it probably was. I'm getting that figurine tattooed by my best friend who is a tattoo artist in her memory.
     
  14. P.J

    P.J Active Member

    I apologise if I am posting in the wrong place - this seemed most appropriate. I don't know whether to talk in the past tense or not as she is still missing (maybe I've lost hope or maybe I'm not willing to accept she isn't coming back). Regardless, I just needed to finally say this and not just think it ... I miss you big sis! Such an amazing person with such a big heart! You are so special to me and I think of you always. It's your birthday coming up soon and sorry if this seems strange or silly or weird, but I will celebrate your sparkle and the amazing person you are/were. Maybe I'll have your favourite cupcake and listen to your favourite songs? Wherever you may be I hope you're safe :)
     
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  15. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Beautiful thoughts P.J. I wish you had answers as to what happened to your sister. But keeping her in your mind and heart is wonderful.

    Helen, a dear friend of mine was buried today. She was 93 years old and one of the most beautiful people I ever had the pleasure to know. I will cherish her always.
     
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  16. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    My last family member(my Mom) passed away July 18th/2015
    My Dad January 2004
    My first wife Susan July 25th/1989
    My best friend Bob July 2005
    My dog Wally Sept 10/2008
    Too many others(family and friends)to count, I wish I'd spent more time with them while they were here. I wish I'd said "I love you more" you never know what you have until it's gone.
    I hope they're still around in a beautiful afterlife and that I can see them all again.
     
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  17. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Brian, I think we always have regrets regarding things we wish we had done after a person passes. I know I do. It can really hurt at times. But maybe it helps be there more for those who are still in our life.
     
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