i miss My mom allmost been 6 years now since she passed away.
i feel so bad when i think about the person i am and how she would think of me if she was here now.
i know you dont know and i just signed up just having a really bad day.
Hey brother - every man feels this - any man who IS a man will weep like a child when that happens. Time 'heals' - but sometimes your love is so strong that that it always leaves a scar. Thing is mate - we measure the love we have for others with grief. You know that - not that it makes it better but it makes more comprehensible.
My own mother is not well so I do my duty there. Am lucky to live very near and have time. Yes being unemployed sometimes - it helps.
Your mom sounds like she was real nice during here tenure here. As for what she would think of you now - you know its nothing but love.
Thing is with depression - we might try to summarise things and see ourselves not as 'the good son'. Well I reasons to think that also - lots of them - but as children we sometimes bring tears - as young men its common for harsh words to be thrown around.
But forgiveness is always there. Whatever bad times there may have been or what errors you may have made - its not important. What is important is that you share this and let other men know its OK to talk about this. Guys - we can be idiots sometimes - so hopefully you got a woman to talk to or family to maybe honour her memory.
For years I hated the depression and moods I had when younger. Epic moods sometimes. Never knew why. But I was never judged regardless - sometimes love is selfless - its not a rare thing as any mum will have that from the get go if all is well.
Just be careful out there not to let the darkness cause domestic grief. But children are children - learning what to do - your mom sounds like she left you a legacy of being a caring person. That matters a lot.
Regards.