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Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
I do pick who I'm going to work with.
They let us choose where we will stay (like which housing unit or which post, etc) and with whom we will work with but christ, it's just old.
I'm tired. I hurt all the time. I'm TIRED. I feel like I'm just burnt out and then ... I'm getting this vibe that I need to do more... and I do. I need to work more overtime cause I'm paying my fricking exes bills still (long pathetic loser story but I'm trying to shake paying them little by little but I'm a fucking idiot so it's slow going).
I've cancelled as much of my own shit as I can, I think. I've pared down my own bills as much as I can and am trying to get rid the ex. I kicked her off my insurance and some other shit. She's only just started working so she's slowly taking over her own bills... after um 9 months.
Lol. So finally she got a job huh?
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
Lol. So finally she got a job huh?
She did indeed. It's been several weeks now but she's had to do some things. Since I've kicked her from the insurance - starting July actually - I told her to take care of anything she needed to take care of so she has had my step son's wisdom teeth pulled, had a bunch of dental work done for herself, done some.. IDK.. girl things.., put plates on the car, gotten an oil change. Just some random shit that needed to be done but isn't "bills" yet so I'm still footin the bill like a moron.
 

Rellek

SF Supporter
She did indeed. It's been several weeks now but she's had to do some things. Since I've kicked her from the insurance - starting July actually - I told her to take care of anything she needed to take care of so she has had my step son's wisdom teeth pulled, had a bunch of dental work done for herself, done some.. IDK.. girl things.., put plates on the car, gotten an oil change. Just some random shit that needed to be done but isn't "bills" yet so I'm still footin the bill like a moron.

You are not a moron, Walker. I've seen your posts and I went through exactly the same thing you're going through now with my divorce in California but after distance and time of 10 years, you get over shit like this. Not much help to you now, Walker but there is light at the end of the tunnel........
 

Auri

🎸🎶Metal Star🎵🥁
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I'm thinking about how I used to wonder if I was straight or not when I was younger. I've only had relationships with guys, but I've definitely had feelings for females. The thing is that it takes a very special kind of female with a certain personality for me to fall for her. Same thing with guys, technically. But I guess I'm just more picky with women. When you wonder about your sexuality, it tends to clear it up when you start feeling a certain way about people you didn't expect.

I only pulled this little part out but its related to the entire statement. I feel like I'd be the same way about guys. I can't clearly cast away guys completely. There is an occasional one that I fancy here or there but then I get closer to them and am like oh shit, do I really want to go that far with him? erm Probably not. So I come to my senses more or less. But there could be some out there in the world. I definitely would not rule that out.
Sexuality doesn't have to be so binary and equally distributed. You can be more attracted to one than the other, you can be differently attracted (sexually, romantically, emotionally, platonically...), and it can change over time, too. We don't have to fit the randomly chosen etiquettes perfectly ;) Everyone is unique.

I just.. hate it. It's killing me little by little. I hate these assholes (and I mean the humans next to me not the ones in the cells).

Edit: No job is ever paying me as much as I make here. I have no skills. I'm a deadbeat loser. I make far too much money here as it is.
At least you know it is sooo worth it. Keep reminding yourself of the reasons you're doing it. :) Only one year. I hope you will feel better in the UK professionally too, maybe you will have more or better opportunities here. I hope you do something you like, and that it pays well. :)

Agreed with sinking. My friends are not losers *nono
Plus, seriously dude... I admire you so much only for what you're doing on this forum. You don't earn money with it, but you earn respect, admiration, love and many other things. So I know how far from a loser you are in all the other aspects of your life. Forget this thought, forget it cause it's not true.
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
My bro’s illegal driving for some forest/jungle adventure when our adults specifically says no. SkKsksksksk. It was reallyy fun. ^^
 

Bloop

River Lea by Adele
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
I rarely like the food I cook but other people love it. I'm not very fussy with food and I enjoy most things but my own food is bleurgh. What's up with that?
 

Rellek

SF Supporter
I had to repeat Auri's post which has me floored with beauty and fact: Sexuality doesn't have to be so binary and equally distributed. You can be more attracted to one than the other, you can be differently attracted (sexually, romantically, emotionally, platonically...), and it can change over time, too. We don't have to fit the randomly chosen etiquettes perfectly ;) Everyone is unique.
 

Auri

🎸🎶Metal Star🎵🥁
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I had to repeat Auri's post which has me floored with beauty and fact: Sexuality doesn't have to be so binary and equally distributed. You can be more attracted to one than the other, you can be differently attracted (sexually, romantically, emotionally, platonically...), and it can change over time, too. We don't have to fit the randomly chosen etiquettes perfectly ;) Everyone is unique.
;) I'm glad it affected you in such a good way *hug
 

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