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Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?


Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 25. I don't want to be 25 but. It will be a hard day.
Since I couldn't afford it I quit therapy. I searched for a psyhiatrist but it was expensive also. So I just bought cipralex without prescription. I know it's ignorant. Never mind..it's ignorant... So I swallowed it. The day before birthday. Maybe it's a birthday present.
Yesterday I gave wrong information to a couple. They asked some thing about law. I'm really incompetent. I hate this job. I hate being useless. I hate being me.
I don't want to be 45 one day and find out I haven't lived but watched YouTube videos instead. To see how people live actually. How they have fun. How they laugh.
I know no-one is gonna read this. I just...wanted to write.
I didn't write it to get happy birthday messages really... I just shared my feelings 😞 and no. It won't be happy. I'm almost 30. Yesterday I was 18. I was . Now. 25. ...I'm old. Life hasn't changed. One day I'll realize I'm 35 and nothing will be different...then one day I'll be dead. That's it kitty...

Someone(s) did read this. 25 trips around the sun. Nothing fancy for that? Time does go by too fast, before you know it few more sun trips has come and gone by but being the same person before those trips? Think not.

I like the mad hatters way of celebrating ones unbirthday other days of the year. Thats more fun.

Cheers and have a good day and hope things do go your favor today 👍


Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
SF Supporter
I think it's funny that they said I had some no call no shows at my volunteer work in July. Considering that I just came in there and didn't make appointments, I wonder how that could work. But a lot of it just seems fishy and not worth the effort anymore. People asked why I didn't stand up for myself or fight for it, but there's no point when they seem to not want me there anyway.
It doesn't matter. I don't change my titles according to my feelings. But as you wish, it is your profile...
I'm not like you... unfortunately I'm cagla. I act upon impulses. That who I am. I hate myself. I don't think I'm a butterfly or anything beautiful. I can't lie myself. That's real me. Not pretending. Real. I'm sorry for being so. I'm so very sorry...I can't be positive. I can't be happy and funny. That's just how I am. I'm sorry. ............

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