Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?

[Fragile]

I'm woory on how to get a decent job....do anyone know how to do it online or dunno a cruise job with referral?....the despair is making me think in really bad options.

 

[Atreides]

I don't understand Hello Baby! What is that all about and why??? (OK there is a lot I don't understand but who are those kids and where are the parents??)

each season a different group takes care of someone's children. it's cute. as far as the parents my assumption is they work for the network.

 

[Atreides]

I'm woory on how to get a decent job....do anyone know how to do it online or dunno a cruise job with referral?....the despair is making me think in really bad options.

i feel you. i've been trying to find a decent job for about 12 years. it's rough.

 

[Shelly]

i think i remember that. that was on jessica and krystal. did you ever watch hello baby with girls generation? i loved that

nah, at the time i didn't have time because of review school.

 

[Petal]

Wondering why I find it so difficult to socialise even with the meds i'm on.

 

[Auri]

Wondering if i hurt someone's feelings without meaning to...

You can ask them

 

[Auri]

Wondering why I find it so difficult to socialise even with the meds i'm on.

You already know that, but meds are not a cure. You probably have a personality that doesn't make it easy (shy, introverted, reserved...?) and sometimes it also takes some "socializing skills". If I think about an extreme case of social anxiety, someone who's never been able to talk with a person, a medication cannot teach them how to have a conversation. It takes practice. And finally, it depends a lot on the people you're trying to socialize with. Do you trust them? Do you feel comfortable? Do they allow you to be yourself? We aren't meant to be able to socialize with everyone.

 

[Aurelia]

You already know that, but meds are not a cure. You probably have a personality that doesn't make it easy (shy, introverted, reserved...?) and sometimes it also takes some "socializing skills". If I think about an extreme case of social anxiety, someone who's never been able to talk with a person, a medication cannot teach them how to have a conversation. It takes practice. And finally, it depends a lot on the people you're trying to socialize with. Do you trust them? Do you feel comfortable? Do they allow you to be yourself? We aren't meant to be able to socialize with any kind of people.

Exactly. Medication is one thing. It'll take away the anxiety, but you still need the actual social skills to continue the process.

 

[Aurelia]

Wondering how many people who have been on this forum have actually completed suicide. And meanwhile, we all just post as usual like everything is fine. It's like they just get forgotten. Of course, that wouldn't happen if it was a regular poster. People would notice. But still, how long would it take for them to be forgotten too?

 

[Auri]

Wondering how many people who have been on this forum have actually completed suicide. And meanwhile, we all just post as usual like everything is fine. It's like they just get forgotten. Of course, that wouldn't happen if it was a regular poster. People would notice. But still, how long would it take for them to be forgotten too?

Because of the anonymity, I think we all would rather think that the person doesn't come back for another reason, if it's a regular poster. I guess they would stay in our minds (in the minds of the closest people at least) but won't be talked about much because SF is pro-life, and because we will never know the truth. SF might forget, but the people who cared won't. Similarly to real life, friends will struggle.
We can't control what others do, a lot of new members don't come back... But I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't have been here anymore if it wasn't for SF either. That is why we keep doing this. For those whose decision we can change. Sometimes it only takes a little thing.

 

[Auri]

Anyone else getting more sleepy after drinking coffee? :wow: It's relaxing, sure, but that's not what I wanted!

 

[GFS]

Wondering how many people who have been on this forum have actually completed suicide. And meanwhile, we all just post as usual like everything is fine. It's like they just get forgotten. Of course, that wouldn't happen if it was a regular poster. People would notice. But still, how long would it take for them to be forgotten too?

I wonder the same sometimes. Many times actually.
But I agree with @Auri. We can't know for sure. It might be they're just tired of SF.
The thing is that we, as depressed people have enough "bad" thoughts and bad feelings even without that, unfortunately.

 

[Aurelia]

Because of the anonymity, I think we all would rather think that the person doesn't come back for another reason, if it's a regular poster. I guess they would stay in our minds (in the minds of the closest people at least) but won't be talked about much because SF is pro-life, and because we will never know the truth. SF might forget, but the people who cared won't. Similarly to real life, friends will struggle.
We can't control what others do, a lot of new members don't come back... But I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't have been here anymore if it wasn't for SF either. That is why we keep doing this. For those whose decision we can change. Sometimes it only takes a little thing.

Doesn't it seem a bit selfish though that we'd rather think they're okay for OUR sake?

 

[GFS]

Doesn't it seem a bit selfish though that we'd rather think they're okay for OUR sake?

Is there anything we can do so we can help them?
Because doing something that would help no one but make some people worse maybe even trigger some others I don's see how that could be any "altruistic".

 

[Auri]

Doesn't it seem a bit selfish though that we'd rather think they're okay for OUR sake?

The alternative is thinking they're not okay and getting more depressed. We have no control over their situation, the only thing we can change is our sake. Being selfish is considering our own profit over someone else's, but they won't benefit from our sadness in any way. Most people wouldn't want us to feel bad for them.

 

[Aurelia]

The alternative is thinking they're not okay and getting more depressed. We have no control over their situation, the only thing we can change is our sake. Being selfish is considering our own profit over someone else's, but they won't benefit from our sadness in any way. Most people wouldn't want us to feel bad for them.

I think a lot of people do want us to feel bad for them. If they didn't, they wouldn't be here most likely, talking about it. They just won't say so because that seems selfish too to want others to be sad. They benefit from it by feeling wanted, important rather than alone and invisible.

 

[Auri]

I think a lot of people do want us to feel bad for them. If they didn't, they wouldn't be here most likely, talking about it. They just won't say so because that seems selfish too to want others to be sad. They benefit from it by feeling wanted, important rather than alone and invisible.

Really? That's not how I feel. I want people to empathize, sure, but not to ruin their day. Even my mother, when she says she worries, I'm trying to reassure her by lying to her that I'm fine. I hate to know that someone out there is having a bad time because of me, it makes my brain itch. Especially about something as terrible as your death, that's kinda cruel. If I were to kill myself, I would totally lie that I'm leaving the forum because I found happiness And I think a lot of people feel that way. At first you feel recognized and wanted, but then... no, I don't like it.

 

[Aurelia]

Really? That's not how I feel. I want people to empathize, sure, but not to ruin their day. Even my mother, when she says she worries, I'm trying to reassure her by lying to her that I'm fine. I hate to know that someone out there is having a bad time because of me, it makes my brain itch. Especially about something as terrible as your death, that's kinda cruel. If I were to kill myself, I would totally lie that I'm leaving the forum because I found happiness And I think a lot of people feel that way. At first you feel recognized and wanted, but then... no, I don't like it.

I didn't mean worry about them as much as just miss them and feel bad that they're gone.

 

[Auri]

I didn't mean worry about them as much as just miss them and feel bad that they're gone.

Oh okay, well that is fine. Of course we miss people and would be missed. When I'm in crisis, I want people to forget about me, for them not to miss me. But missing someone can be done in a healthy way, and realistically, you will always be missed by someone if you were a good person in their lives. It feels good to be recognized and loved, of course, but we can only hope that they know we want to be remembered for these good things but not them to feel miserable when they think about us. I don't think it's selfish at all.

 

[Aurelia]

Oh okay, well that is fine. Of course we miss people and would be missed. When I'm in crisis, I want people to forget about me, for them not to miss me. But missing someone can be done in a healthy way, and realistically, you will always be missed by someone if you were a good person in their lives. It feels good to be recognized and loved, of course, but we can only hope that they know we want to be remembered for these good things but not them to feel miserable when they think about us. I don't think it's selfish at all.

I mean, i guess if I died, I'd want my husband to miss me. And in all honesty, when I say that, what I really mean is that I would expect him to feel like shit, as I would also if he died. It would be less selfish to say that I'd want him to be fine and move on, but that would be a lie. I don't know, maybe it's different for you and certain others. But I think some people don't want others to move on because, if they do, that means they didn't really matter in their minds.